Robert Benchley Quotes

Top 77 wise famous quotes and sayings by Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Robert Benchley on Wise Famous Quotes.

Robert Benchley quotes: The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Robert Benchley quotes: It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation. It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation.
Robert Benchley quotes: Who said time machines haven't been built yet? They already exist. They're called books Who said time machines haven't been built yet? They already exist. They're called books
Robert Benchley quotes: The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon. The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
Robert Benchley quotes: I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk. I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk.
Robert Benchley quotes: A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated. A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.
Robert Benchley quotes: It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start. It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
Robert Benchley quotes: Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.
Robert Benchley quotes: A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley quotes: There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist. There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
Robert Benchley quotes: Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk. Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.
Robert Benchley quotes: As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.
Robert Benchley quotes: One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods. One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.
Robert Benchley quotes: The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled. The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.
Robert Benchley quotes: Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor. Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
Robert Benchley quotes: It is one of the most discouraging experiences I have ever had, not forgetting the time when I winked at the Queen Mother in London once. It is one of the most discouraging experiences I have ever had, not forgetting the time when I winked at the Queen Mother in London once.
Robert Benchley quotes: Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got. Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
Robert Benchley quotes: Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous. Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
Robert Benchley quotes: She sleeps alone at last. She sleeps alone at last.
Robert Benchley quotes: I am more the inspirational type of speller. I work on hunches rather than mere facts, and the result is sometimes open to criticism by purists. I am more the inspirational type of speller. I work on hunches rather than mere facts, and the result is sometimes open to criticism by purists.
Robert Benchley quotes: It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous. It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Robert Benchley quotes: The free-lance writer is one who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps. The free-lance writer is one who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
Robert Benchley quotes: Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Robert Benchley quotes: Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony. Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley quotes: Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Robert Benchley quotes: One, two, three / Buckle my shoe. One, two, three / Buckle my shoe.
Robert Benchley quotes: If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from. If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
Robert Benchley quotes: I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine. I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
Robert Benchley quotes: My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out. My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
Robert Benchley quotes: All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching. All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
Robert Benchley quotes: Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
Robert Benchley quotes: Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.
Robert Benchley quotes: Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't. Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.
Robert Benchley quotes: There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.
Robert Benchley quotes: I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry. I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
Robert Benchley quotes: In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop. In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.
Robert Benchley quotes: This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation. This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
Robert Benchley quotes: If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls. If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.
Robert Benchley quotes: If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios. If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
Robert Benchley quotes: You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains. You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.
Robert Benchley quotes: Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria. Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
Robert Benchley quotes: Streets full of water. Please Advise. Streets full of water. Please Advise.
Robert Benchley quotes: If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out. If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.
Robert Benchley quotes: A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs. A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.
Robert Benchley quotes: There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy ... should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty. There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy ... should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
Robert Benchley quotes: The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty. The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.
Robert Benchley quotes: People who begin sentences with "I may be old-fashioned but - " are usually not only old-fashioned but wrong. People who begin sentences with "I may be old-fashioned but - " are usually not only old-fashioned but wrong.
Robert Benchley quotes: One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery. One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.
Robert Benchley quotes: Work is a form of nervousness. Work is a form of nervousness.
Robert Benchley quotes: I haven't been abroad in so long that I almost speak English without an accent now. I haven't been abroad in so long that I almost speak English without an accent now.
Robert Benchley quotes: England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example. England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example.
Robert Benchley quotes: I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle. I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.
Robert Benchley quotes: Charlemagne either died or was born or did something with the Holy Roman Empire in 800. Charlemagne either died or was born or did something with the Holy Roman Empire in 800.
Robert Benchley quotes: Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men. Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.
Robert Benchley quotes: A freelance is one who gets paid by the word per piece or perhaps. A freelance is one who gets paid by the word
per piece or perhaps.
Robert Benchley quotes: It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly. It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
Robert Benchley quotes: After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year. After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.
Robert Benchley quotes: If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge. If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge.
Robert Benchley quotes: I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author. I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.
Robert Benchley quotes: Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley quotes: I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Robert Benchley quotes: The wise man thinks once before he speaks twice. The wise man thinks once before he speaks twice.
Robert Benchley quotes: If only those old walls could talk ... how boring they would be. If only those old walls could talk ... how boring they would be.
Robert Benchley quotes: We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born. We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
Robert Benchley quotes: The Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something. The Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something.
Robert Benchley quotes: You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health. You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.
Robert Benchley quotes: An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens. An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
Robert Benchley quotes: The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success. The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success.
Robert Benchley quotes: Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of. Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
Robert Benchley quotes: There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory. There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
Robert Benchley quotes: The only cure for a real hangover is death. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Robert Benchley quotes: There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either. There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.
Robert Benchley quotes: Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper. Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.
Robert Benchley quotes: Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Robert Benchley quotes: Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
Robert Benchley quotes: Streets flooded. Please advise. Streets flooded. Please advise.
Robert Benchley quotes: There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children. There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.

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