Tucker Max Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Tucker Max

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Tucker Max Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Tucker Max on Wise Famous Quotes.

Tucker Max quotes: Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities. Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.
Tucker Max quotes: Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want
Tucker Max quotes: It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way. It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way.
Tucker Max quotes: Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear. Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.
Tucker Max quotes: Did you hear the nonsensical prattle spewing from her pie-hole? Did you hear the nonsensical prattle spewing from her pie-hole?
Tucker Max quotes: I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying. I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.
Tucker Max quotes: In training, there is no winning or losing. There is only learning. In training, there is no winning or losing. There is only learning.
Tucker Max quotes: I'm not some movie star relying on a studio. I have my own fans and I earned them. I'm not some movie star relying on a studio. I have my own fans and I earned them.
Tucker Max quotes: One of us needs to get laid.""Just one of us?""What are the odds of both of us getting laid? One of us needs to get laid."
"Just one of us?"
"What are the odds of both of us getting laid?
Tucker Max quotes: Calling one thing 'literature' and another 'fiction' is a way to create status where there is none. Calling one thing 'literature' and another 'fiction' is a way to create status where there is none.
Tucker Max quotes: I'm never going to be Tolstoy. I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
Tucker Max quotes: There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends. There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.
Tucker Max quotes: Great careers are getting easier to find and audition for, but harder to keep. Great careers are getting easier to find and audition for, but harder to keep.
Tucker Max quotes: You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note. You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
Tucker Max quotes: Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong. Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong.
Tucker Max quotes: Of course, I'm not a doctor; I just watch a lot of ER and House. Of course, I'm not a doctor; I just watch a lot of ER and House.
Tucker Max quotes: I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me. I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me.
Tucker Max quotes: I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures. I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
Tucker Max quotes: It's like a mini Bourbon Street with less culture and more disgusting hookers. It's like a mini Bourbon Street with less culture and more disgusting hookers.
Tucker Max quotes: When your buddy tells you a movie is good, that's worth 2,000 commercials. When your buddy tells you a movie is good, that's worth 2,000 commercials.
Tucker Max quotes: There aren't a whole lot of people in culture that are unapologetically masculine. There aren't a whole lot of people in culture that are unapologetically masculine.
Tucker Max quotes: When I give speeches at college, I don't tell stories, I talk about what it is to live your dreams and take the path less traveled. When I give speeches at college, I don't tell stories, I talk about what it is to live your dreams and take the path less traveled.
Tucker Max quotes: I prefer to keep fooling myself, at least for a little while longer. I prefer to keep fooling myself, at least for a little while longer.
Tucker Max quotes: I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them. I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them.
Tucker Max quotes: I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship. I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
Tucker Max quotes: I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are. I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.
Tucker Max quotes: Whatever your favorite food is, if you eat it every day for a month, you're going to get sick of it. Whatever your favorite food is, if you eat it every day for a month, you're going to get sick of it.
Tucker Max quotes: One of life's great secrets: women don't look for handsome men, they look for men with beautiful women. One of life's great secrets: women don't look for handsome men, they look for men with beautiful women.
Tucker Max quotes: Yinzer: DAMN!! I wish I had your balls! Tucker:I wish you had a breath mint, but I guess we don't always get what we wish for. Yinzer: DAMN!! I wish I had your balls! Tucker:I wish you had a breath mint, but I guess we don't always get what we wish for.
Tucker Max quotes: Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art. Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art.
Tucker Max quotes: The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them
Tucker Max quotes: I think 20th century media were about tricking people - and the beauty of the Internet is you can't lie anymore. I think 20th century media were about tricking people - and the beauty of the Internet is you can't lie anymore.
Tucker Max quotes: Look, I know everything is shitty right now, but if you don't stop acting like such a bitch, someones gonna fuck that pussy on your face. Look, I know everything is shitty right now, but if you don't stop acting like such a bitch, someones gonna fuck that pussy on your face.
Tucker Max quotes: You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you. You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you.
Tucker Max quotes: Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party. Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.
Tucker Max quotes: Women always want the guy that other women want. Women always want the guy that other women want.
Tucker Max quotes: No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second. No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.
Tucker Max quotes: I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there. I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there.
Tucker Max quotes: Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences. Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.
Tucker Max quotes: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people. Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people.
Tucker Max quotes: And that we were now those guys ... who started a fight at a Harry Potter book party. And that we were now those guys ... who started a fight at a Harry Potter book party.
Tucker Max quotes: Publishing companies are like schoolyard bullies that can't even fight well. Publishing companies are like schoolyard bullies that can't even fight well.
Tucker Max quotes: Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me"Tucker: "I don't understand the question. Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me"
Tucker: "I don't understand the question.
Tucker Max quotes: Usually, whatever people's particular political leaning is, they either think I'm just like them or the opposite. Usually, whatever people's particular political leaning is, they either think I'm just like them or the opposite.
Tucker Max quotes: My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about. My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.
Tucker Max quotes: The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life. The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life.
Tucker Max quotes: It is better to ask for forgiveness then permission. It is better to ask for forgiveness then permission.
Tucker Max quotes: The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit. The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.
Tucker Max quotes: You can't do anything yourself on TV ... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie. You can't do anything yourself on TV ... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.
Tucker Max quotes: I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds. I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
Tucker Max quotes: The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded". The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded".
Tucker Max quotes: Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven. Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
Tucker Max quotes: If you read the book, you're not a journalist. You're some impostor! No journalist actually does any work. If you read the book, you're not a journalist. You're some impostor! No journalist actually does any work.
Tucker Max quotes: Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt. Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.
Tucker Max quotes: No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
Tucker Max quotes: I wish I could bottle the seductive look she gave me so I could sniff it when I jack off. I wish I could bottle the seductive look she gave me so I could sniff it when I jack off.
Tucker Max quotes: I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel. I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel.
Tucker Max quotes: Hey man, so can you speak to dolphins and pilot whales with that forehead of yours? Hey man, so can you speak to dolphins and pilot whales with that forehead of yours?
Tucker Max quotes: FK THAT. I AM TUCKER MAX. I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU. FK THAT. I AM TUCKER MAX. I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU.
Tucker Max quotes: The haters always scream the loudest. The haters always scream the loudest.
Tucker Max quotes: I never felt pressured to create more stories, but dealing with people became really aggravating. I never felt pressured to create more stories, but dealing with people became really aggravating.
Tucker Max quotes: The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't. The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't.
Tucker Max quotes: I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did. I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.
Tucker Max quotes: That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.
Tucker Max quotes: There is always more demand for great content then there will be great content to satisfy it. There is always more demand for great content then there will be great content to satisfy it.
Tucker Max quotes: Tucker "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. Please speak up. Tucker "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. Please speak up.
Tucker Max quotes: Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse. Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.
Tucker Max quotes: Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out. Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.
Tucker Max quotes: Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend. Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.
Tucker Max quotes: She was quite promiscuous, to the point where dating her was similar to the experience of sitting on a warm toilet seat: She was quite promiscuous, to the point where dating her was similar to the experience of sitting on a warm toilet seat:
Tucker Max quotes: Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much. Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
Tucker Max quotes: I've heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a professor I've heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a professor
Tucker Max quotes: What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you. What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you.
Tucker Max quotes: We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating. We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating.
Tucker Max quotes: I'm fresh out of fucks to give. I'm fresh out of fucks to give.
Tucker Max quotes: At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now. At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.
Tucker Max quotes: Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I? Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
Tucker Max quotes: Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones. Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.
Tucker Max quotes: Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful. Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful.
Tucker Max quotes: I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect. I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
Tucker Max quotes: I'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester. I'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester.
Tucker Max quotes: Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become. Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.
Tucker Max quotes: If you want to be seen as courageous by some and hated by others, just say what you really think. If you want to be seen as courageous by some and hated by others, just say what you really think.
Tucker Max quotes: The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me. The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.
Tucker Max quotes: I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit. I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.
Tucker Max quotes: Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer. Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.
Tucker Max quotes: Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales. Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.
Tucker Max quotes: Girl3 "You don't have to be a jerk"SlingBlade "Quite the contrary, my sloppy penile scholar.Order me another drink and be quick about it. Girl3 "You don't have to be a jerk"
SlingBlade "Quite the contrary, my sloppy penile scholar.Order me another drink and be quick about it.
Tucker Max quotes: I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off. I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.
Tucker Max quotes: This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don't suffer fools well. This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don't suffer fools well.
Tucker Max quotes: If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail. If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
Tucker Max quotes: Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with. Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with.
Tucker Max quotes: Opinions are projections. Opinions are projections.
Tucker Max quotes: You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while. You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
Tucker Max quotes: Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb. Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb.
Tucker Max quotes: There is no number or level of success that would make me think, 'Wow, I didn't think that was possible.' There is no number or level of success that would make me think, 'Wow, I didn't think that was possible.'
Tucker Max quotes: Communication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood) Communication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood)
Tucker Max quotes: I feel like taking her money AND her soul is not cool. One or the other. I feel like taking her money AND her soul is not cool. One or the other.
Tucker Max quotes: The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be. The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be.
Tucker Max quotes: 9:00: I don't know what I want. I just point at the Dollar Menu and say, 'Give me all of that. 9:00: I don't know what I want. I just point at the Dollar Menu and say, 'Give me all of that.

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