Janet Evanovich Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich quotes: It's not a good idea to mess with a woman who has a pimple It's not a good idea to mess with a woman who has a pimple
Janet Evanovich quotes: Saved by the grandma"Ranger Saved by the grandma"
Ranger
Janet Evanovich quotes: What's on your bucket list?" I asked. "I got six things so far," Grandma said. "First off, I want new breasts. These ones I got are a mess. What's on your bucket list?" I asked. "I got six things so far," Grandma said. "First off, I want new breasts. These ones I got are a mess.
Janet Evanovich quotes: And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case. And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing.Melvin Baylor - Seven Up Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing.
Melvin Baylor - Seven Up
Janet Evanovich quotes: I almost never shoot people. I almost never shoot people.
Janet Evanovich quotes: My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco, My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco,
Janet Evanovich quotes: Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me. Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I have you listed under entertainment," Ranger said, I have you listed under entertainment," Ranger said,
Janet Evanovich quotes: Are you a feminist?" "You bet your ass," Lula said. "Unless I need something done that's man's work. Are you a feminist?" "You bet your ass," Lula said. "Unless I need something done that's man's work.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Bullets are creepy."Stephenie Bullets are creepy."
Stephenie
Janet Evanovich quotes: The problem with all that falling in love was that eventually it had to come to an end, and the end would be painful. The problem with all that falling in love was that eventually it had to come to an end, and the end would be painful.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Okay, so this had all the makings of a cluster fuck, but there was a Dairy Queen Oreo Cheese-Quake Blizzard waiting for me somewhere. Okay, so this had all the makings of a cluster fuck, but there was a Dairy Queen Oreo Cheese-Quake Blizzard waiting for me somewhere.
Janet Evanovich quotes: This is war,' I yelled through the door.Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war. This is war,' I yelled through the door.
Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Pete- What does a woman want out of marriage?Louisa- Undying devotion and a warm place to put her cold feet when she gets into bed at night. Pete- What does a woman want out of marriage?
Louisa- Undying devotion and a warm place to put her cold feet when she gets into bed at night.
Janet Evanovich quotes: It's fucking hard to be classy It's fucking hard to be classy
Janet Evanovich quotes: THREE TO GET DEADLY THREE TO GET DEADLY
Janet Evanovich quotes: Drawn, eyes wide. "Holy Toledo," she said. "I called everyone I could think of while I was driving," Sally said. Drawn, eyes wide. "Holy Toledo," she said. "I called everyone I could think of while I was driving," Sally said.
Janet Evanovich quotes: You fainted," I told Tank. "I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie. You fainted," I told Tank. "I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie.
Janet Evanovich quotes: It means that he looks like my boyfriend, but I don't say it out loud. It means that he looks like my boyfriend, but I don't say it out loud.
Janet Evanovich quotes: You're a lunatic. You ran me over with a goddamn Buick. You're a lunatic. You ran me over with a goddamn Buick.
Janet Evanovich quotes: The other hand wanted to wrap itself around Ranger's most perfect body part and not let go. The other hand wanted to wrap itself around Ranger's most perfect body part and not let go.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble. I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.
Janet Evanovich quotes: This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe.Ranger This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe.
Ranger
Janet Evanovich quotes: You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter.Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter.
Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines
Janet Evanovich quotes: Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any. Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Holy Mary, mother of God," my mother said. "You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit. Holy Mary, mother of God," my mother said. "You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise. I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done. Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Two windows," she said with a smile. "And there's no such word as besweatered." "It's like bespectacled, only with a sweater. Two windows," she said with a smile. "And there's no such word as besweatered." "It's like bespectacled, only with a sweater.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Do you believe in God?" I asked Lula. "Fuckin' A I believe in God. Don't you believe in God?" "I believe in something. It's vague. Do you believe in God?" I asked Lula. "Fuckin' A I believe in God. Don't you believe in God?" "I believe in something. It's vague.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Well, sure, but I don't bring God into it. I think shower massage might have been invented by the devil. God invented the missionary position. Well, sure, but I don't bring God into it. I think shower massage might have been invented by the devil. God invented the missionary position.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Are you laughing? I can feel you laughing. My life isn't funny!" "Babe, your life should be a prime-time sitcom. Are you laughing? I can feel you laughing. My life isn't funny!" "Babe, your life should be a prime-time sitcom.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn't be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother. I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn't be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Holy Crap,' Carolli said. 'You shot Jesus. That's gonna take a lot of Hail Marys. Holy Crap,' Carolli said. 'You shot Jesus. That's gonna take a lot of Hail Marys.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out? Lula Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out? Lula
Janet Evanovich quotes: I'm a real voyeur. I'm a real voyeur.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I was going to go to church, but I decided to get doughnuts instead. I was going to go to church, but I decided to get doughnuts instead.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I need mood music. I gotta get myself ready to kick butt.Lula - High Five I need mood music. I gotta get myself ready to kick butt.
Lula - High Five
Janet Evanovich quotes: There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspectStephanie There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspect
Stephanie
Janet Evanovich quotes: You always did have a problem with undies. Remember when you wet your pants in the second grade?- Joyce Barnhardt You always did have a problem with undies. Remember when you wet your pants in the second grade?
- Joyce Barnhardt
Janet Evanovich quotes: Damn, I thought everyone carried a gun in New Jersey!!! Damn, I thought everyone carried a gun in New Jersey!!!
Janet Evanovich quotes: I rolled my eyes so far into the back of my head I saw myself Thinking- Stephanie Plum High Five I rolled my eyes so far into the back of my head I saw myself Thinking- Stephanie Plum High Five
Janet Evanovich quotes: every other aspect of his life. He had the every other aspect of his life. He had the
Janet Evanovich quotes: As a backup, I intended to get a quart of defense spray. I wasn't much good with a gun, but I was bitchin' with an aerosol can. As a backup, I intended to get a quart of defense spray. I wasn't much good with a gun, but I was bitchin' with an aerosol can.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I think you should go shopping first. I like when you bring all that kinky stuff home. I think you should go shopping first. I like when you bring all that kinky stuff home.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Morelli grinned down at me. I don't know where he's getting it, but he's got some really good shit in those brownies. Morelli grinned down at me. I don't know where he's getting it, but he's got some really good shit in those brownies.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Ranger was dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt and boots, Ranger was dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt and boots,
Janet Evanovich quotes: Stroll around and look sexy, ask annoying questions, in general get on everyone's nerves. All those things that come naturally to you. Stroll around and look sexy, ask annoying questions, in general get on everyone's nerves. All those things that come naturally to you.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.Grandma Mazur I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.
Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich quotes: Don't you just hate a phony-looking stiff? - Aunt Edna Don't you just hate a phony-looking stiff? - Aunt Edna
Janet Evanovich quotes: I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." -Grandma Mazur I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." -Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich quotes: There was no expression to his face. He looked like he'd seen it all and didn't think much of it. There was no expression to his face. He looked like he'd seen it all and didn't think much of it.
Janet Evanovich quotes: And from where I was sitting his ass looked like little Bear's bed ... not too hard, and not too soft, but just right. And from where I was sitting his ass looked like little Bear's bed ... not too hard, and not too soft, but just right.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything.-Lula Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything.
-Lula