Janet Evanovich Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Janet Evanovich on Wise Famous Quotes.

Janet Evanovich quotes: Her concept of paradise was something more immediate: a book and a blanket beneath a tree, where she might read in peace. Her concept of paradise was something more immediate: a book and a blanket beneath a tree, where she might read in peace.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I've finally reached a stage in my career where I can do what I want. I've finally reached a stage in my career where I can do what I want.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I could help you," I said. "Counseling, drugs, a religious advisor, a girlfriend. I could help you," I said. "Counseling, drugs, a religious advisor, a girlfriend.
Janet Evanovich quotes: One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger
Janet Evanovich quotes: And listened for Lula's knock on his door. And listened for Lula's knock on his door.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy. Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I think money isn't any good sitting around, so I spend some time in the shoe department at Saks. I think money isn't any good sitting around, so I spend some time in the shoe department at Saks.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I had a long history of calamitous mishaps. I had a long history of calamitous mishaps.
Janet Evanovich quotes: My leg over the bike. Ranger was watching me, smiling. "I like the way you straddle that," he said. "Someday . . . My leg over the bike. Ranger was watching me, smiling. "I like the way you straddle that," he said. "Someday . . .
Janet Evanovich quotes: And something chocolate, of course. A meal was not a meal without some sort of chocolate for desert. And something chocolate, of course. A meal was not a meal without some sort of chocolate for desert.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I had dinner at your parents' house three days ago and once a week is my limit. Joe to Stephanie. I had dinner at your parents' house three days ago and once a week is my limit. Joe to Stephanie.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Did you pack an extra gun?" "Of course," she said. "You can never have too many weapons." Jake smiled. "I raised you right. Did you pack an extra gun?" "Of course," she said. "You can never have too many weapons." Jake smiled. "I raised you right.
Janet Evanovich quotes: He pulled his nose out of her cleavage and turned to me. "Gaylord Brown," he said. "It's the perfect name because I'm gay and I'm brown. He pulled his nose out of her cleavage and turned to me. "Gaylord Brown," he said. "It's the perfect name because I'm gay and I'm brown.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures. I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean
Janet Evanovich quotes: Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads. Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
Janet Evanovich quotes: My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand. My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Congratulations. You caught yourself a Munchkin. Congratulations. You caught yourself a Munchkin.
Janet Evanovich quotes: If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert. If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
Janet Evanovich quotes: About that proposal, cupcake..."Morelli About that proposal, cupcake..."
Morelli
Janet Evanovich quotes: Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer. Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Um, Emerson?" she said. "I've reached the end of my rope. Um, Emerson?" she said. "I've reached the end of my rope.
Janet Evanovich quotes: And when I was in the trunk, I saw Jesus. And the Virgin Mary. And Ozzy Osbourne. And when I was in the trunk, I saw Jesus. And the Virgin Mary. And Ozzy Osbourne.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Buffet." "Do you know what casino she Buffet." "Do you know what casino she
Janet Evanovich quotes: I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore. I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I knew there were no such things as death cooties. Unfortunately, that's an intellectual fact. And death cooties are an emotional reality. I knew there were no such things as death cooties. Unfortunately, that's an intellectual fact. And death cooties are an emotional reality.
Janet Evanovich quotes: My sex life is okay.""Yeah," Morelli said. "But sometimes it's fun to have a partner. My sex life is okay."
"Yeah," Morelli said. "But sometimes it's fun to have a partner.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea. I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea.
Janet Evanovich quotes: He had a body like batman He had a body like batman
Janet Evanovich quotes: You don't have to be there to be there. You don't have to be there to be there.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Almost everybody I know has died," Grandma said. "Bunch of wimps. Almost everybody I know has died," Grandma said. "Bunch of wimps.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Riley reminded herself that she was a professional, and stabbing Emerson with her nail file wouldn't be appropriate. Riley reminded herself that she was a professional, and stabbing Emerson with her nail file wouldn't be appropriate.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I'll go with you," Lula said. "Maybe I'll get a look at the killer Chihuahuas. And besides, I want to ride in Ranger's Porsche. I'll go with you," Lula said. "Maybe I'll get a look at the killer Chihuahuas. And besides, I want to ride in Ranger's Porsche.
Janet Evanovich quotes: When I was pink and clean I crawled into bed and pretended I was at Disney World. When I was pink and clean I crawled into bed and pretended I was at Disney World.
Janet Evanovich quotes: They have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August They have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August
Janet Evanovich quotes: Nice dress. Take it off. Nice dress. Take it off.
Janet Evanovich quotes: You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake." Morelli said. "I'll find you.""You are such a cop.""Tell me about it. You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake." Morelli said. "I'll find you."
"You are such a cop."
"Tell me about it.
Janet Evanovich quotes: THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me - not forever, but periodically. THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me - not forever, but periodically.
Janet Evanovich quotes: You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think? Stuart Bagget You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think? Stuart Bagget
Janet Evanovich quotes: Get me a gun. If I don't go into labor soon, I'm going to shoot myself. And pass the gravy. Pass it now.Valerie - To the Nines Get me a gun. If I don't go into labor soon, I'm going to shoot myself. And pass the gravy. Pass it now.
Valerie - To the Nines
Janet Evanovich quotes: It's been almost a month since you found a body. I knew you were due.Carl Costanza - Seven Up It's been almost a month since you found a body. I knew you were due.
Carl Costanza - Seven Up
Janet Evanovich quotes: Omygod, I haven't got years. I'll have to hide in the Bat Cave.""Once you go to the Bat Cave it's forever, babe."Eeek. Omygod, I haven't got years. I'll have to hide in the Bat Cave."
"Once you go to the Bat Cave it's forever, babe."
Eeek.
Janet Evanovich quotes: It's not a nice thing to send a penis to a woman. It's disrespectful. It's not a nice thing to send a penis to a woman. It's disrespectful.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate.Grandma Mazur I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate.
Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich quotes: I need mood music. I gotta get myself ready to kick butt.Lula - High Five I need mood music. I gotta get myself ready to kick butt.
Lula - High Five
Janet Evanovich quotes: Holy Crap,' Carolli said. 'You shot Jesus. That's gonna take a lot of Hail Marys. Holy Crap,' Carolli said. 'You shot Jesus. That's gonna take a lot of Hail Marys.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I was going to go to church, but I decided to get doughnuts instead. I was going to go to church, but I decided to get doughnuts instead.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I'm a real voyeur. I'm a real voyeur.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out? Lula Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out? Lula
Janet Evanovich quotes: I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn't be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother. I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn't be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.
Janet Evanovich quotes: You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter.Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter.
Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines
Janet Evanovich quotes: There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspectStephanie There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspect
Stephanie
Janet Evanovich quotes: You always did have a problem with undies. Remember when you wet your pants in the second grade?- Joyce Barnhardt You always did have a problem with undies. Remember when you wet your pants in the second grade?
- Joyce Barnhardt
Janet Evanovich quotes: Damn, I thought everyone carried a gun in New Jersey!!! Damn, I thought everyone carried a gun in New Jersey!!!
Janet Evanovich quotes: I rolled my eyes so far into the back of my head I saw myself Thinking- Stephanie Plum High Five I rolled my eyes so far into the back of my head I saw myself Thinking- Stephanie Plum High Five
Janet Evanovich quotes: every other aspect of his life. He had the every other aspect of his life. He had the
Janet Evanovich quotes: As a backup, I intended to get a quart of defense spray. I wasn't much good with a gun, but I was bitchin' with an aerosol can. As a backup, I intended to get a quart of defense spray. I wasn't much good with a gun, but I was bitchin' with an aerosol can.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I think you should go shopping first. I like when you bring all that kinky stuff home. I think you should go shopping first. I like when you bring all that kinky stuff home.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Morelli grinned down at me. I don't know where he's getting it, but he's got some really good shit in those brownies. Morelli grinned down at me. I don't know where he's getting it, but he's got some really good shit in those brownies.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Ranger was dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt and boots, Ranger was dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt and boots,
Janet Evanovich quotes: Stroll around and look sexy, ask annoying questions, in general get on everyone's nerves. All those things that come naturally to you. Stroll around and look sexy, ask annoying questions, in general get on everyone's nerves. All those things that come naturally to you.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.Grandma Mazur I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.
Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich quotes: Don't you just hate a phony-looking stiff? - Aunt Edna Don't you just hate a phony-looking stiff? - Aunt Edna
Janet Evanovich quotes: I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." -Grandma Mazur I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." -Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich quotes: There was no expression to his face. He looked like he'd seen it all and didn't think much of it. There was no expression to his face. He looked like he'd seen it all and didn't think much of it.
Janet Evanovich quotes: And from where I was sitting his ass looked like little Bear's bed ... not too hard, and not too soft, but just right. And from where I was sitting his ass looked like little Bear's bed ... not too hard, and not too soft, but just right.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything.-Lula Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything.
-Lula
Janet Evanovich quotes: Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me. Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me.
Janet Evanovich quotes: It's fucking hard to be classy It's fucking hard to be classy
Janet Evanovich quotes: Pete- What does a woman want out of marriage?Louisa- Undying devotion and a warm place to put her cold feet when she gets into bed at night. Pete- What does a woman want out of marriage?
Louisa- Undying devotion and a warm place to put her cold feet when she gets into bed at night.
Janet Evanovich quotes: This is war,' I yelled through the door.Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war. This is war,' I yelled through the door.
Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Okay, so this had all the makings of a cluster fuck, but there was a Dairy Queen Oreo Cheese-Quake Blizzard waiting for me somewhere. Okay, so this had all the makings of a cluster fuck, but there was a Dairy Queen Oreo Cheese-Quake Blizzard waiting for me somewhere.
Janet Evanovich quotes: The problem with all that falling in love was that eventually it had to come to an end, and the end would be painful. The problem with all that falling in love was that eventually it had to come to an end, and the end would be painful.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Bullets are creepy."Stephenie Bullets are creepy."
Stephenie
Janet Evanovich quotes: Are you a feminist?" "You bet your ass," Lula said. "Unless I need something done that's man's work. Are you a feminist?" "You bet your ass," Lula said. "Unless I need something done that's man's work.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I have you listed under entertainment," Ranger said, I have you listed under entertainment," Ranger said,
Janet Evanovich quotes: THREE TO GET DEADLY THREE TO GET DEADLY
Janet Evanovich quotes: My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco, My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco,
Janet Evanovich quotes: I almost never shoot people. I almost never shoot people.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing.Melvin Baylor - Seven Up Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing.
Melvin Baylor - Seven Up
Janet Evanovich quotes: I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying.
Janet Evanovich quotes: And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case. And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case.
Janet Evanovich quotes: What's on your bucket list?" I asked. "I got six things so far," Grandma said. "First off, I want new breasts. These ones I got are a mess. What's on your bucket list?" I asked. "I got six things so far," Grandma said. "First off, I want new breasts. These ones I got are a mess.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Saved by the grandma"Ranger Saved by the grandma"
Ranger
Janet Evanovich quotes: Are you laughing? I can feel you laughing. My life isn't funny!" "Babe, your life should be a prime-time sitcom. Are you laughing? I can feel you laughing. My life isn't funny!" "Babe, your life should be a prime-time sitcom.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Drawn, eyes wide. "Holy Toledo," she said. "I called everyone I could think of while I was driving," Sally said. Drawn, eyes wide. "Holy Toledo," she said. "I called everyone I could think of while I was driving," Sally said.
Janet Evanovich quotes: You fainted," I told Tank. "I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie. You fainted," I told Tank. "I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie.
Janet Evanovich quotes: It means that he looks like my boyfriend, but I don't say it out loud. It means that he looks like my boyfriend, but I don't say it out loud.
Janet Evanovich quotes: You're a lunatic. You ran me over with a goddamn Buick. You're a lunatic. You ran me over with a goddamn Buick.
Janet Evanovich quotes: The other hand wanted to wrap itself around Ranger's most perfect body part and not let go. The other hand wanted to wrap itself around Ranger's most perfect body part and not let go.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble. I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.
Janet Evanovich quotes: This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe.Ranger This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe.
Ranger
Janet Evanovich quotes: It's not a good idea to mess with a woman who has a pimple It's not a good idea to mess with a woman who has a pimple
Janet Evanovich quotes: Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any. Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Holy Mary, mother of God," my mother said. "You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit. Holy Mary, mother of God," my mother said. "You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit.
Janet Evanovich quotes: I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise. I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done. Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Two windows," she said with a smile. "And there's no such word as besweatered." "It's like bespectacled, only with a sweater. Two windows," she said with a smile. "And there's no such word as besweatered." "It's like bespectacled, only with a sweater.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Do you believe in God?" I asked Lula. "Fuckin' A I believe in God. Don't you believe in God?" "I believe in something. It's vague. Do you believe in God?" I asked Lula. "Fuckin' A I believe in God. Don't you believe in God?" "I believe in something. It's vague.
Janet Evanovich quotes: Well, sure, but I don't bring God into it. I think shower massage might have been invented by the devil. God invented the missionary position. Well, sure, but I don't bring God into it. I think shower massage might have been invented by the devil. God invented the missionary position.

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