Derek Landy Quotes

There are too many people for this town. - China, about Roarhaven

A little internal bleeding never hurt anyone. - Valkyrie

Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.

Look at the face I don't have, Craven, and tell me if it looks like I care.

Wow," she said. "It's like you're teaching me something and being all wise."
"You are not easy to get along with," Skulduggery said.

Oh my god you're thicker than you look

Violence?"Skulduggery said. "Violence is never the answer, until it's the only answer.

His hair is huge! ... Look! ... It's just sticking up at odd angles! Like a demented porcupine! - Desmond, about Fletcher's hair

We're just going to retreat?"
"We are not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.

Found something?"
"No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uh ... more floor.

Cheer up everyone," he said, a new brightness to his voice. "Since we're all going to die horribly anyway, what's there to be worried about?

And I won't be needing a sword to kill you." He strode towards Skulduggery, who raised his hand. "Um, since you're not going to be using it, can I?

Valkyrie smiled patiently. I like how you do your make-up. Do you use a brush, or just dip your head in the bucket?

They call it Second Lifetime Syndrome, and it happens when a sorcerer watches her family and friends age and die around her. - China

Clarabelle, did you draw a smiley face on the robot? - Nye

You say one more thing that sounds like it's ripped from the pages of a really bad gothic romance and I'm out of here, are we clear? - Valkyrie Cain

I've had years to see the funny side.

I'm fairly certain. I could be some ghastly hallucination, a figment of my own imagination

Is he all scarred now?"
"Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.

There's an I in menagerie. - Black Annis

It's not that I want you to go, it's just that I don't want you to stay. - China Sorrows -

Bravery, after all, isn't the absence of fear. Bravery is the acknowledgement and the conquering of fear.

Desmond, don't poke the baby!' ... 'I'll get you next time-' Don't threaten the baby either!' ...

Come and have a go, if you think you're hard enough

Jethro, you have been a most helpful captive."
"Are you ... are you going to let me live?"
Sanguine's grin grew wider. "Not even remotely.

Skulduggery walked over slowly. He had picked up his severed arm and was now holding it out to her.
"Here," he said. "Let me give you a hand.

The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend - Skulduggery Pleasant.

I cross the place where my heart used to be and hope to be even deader than I am now.

Skulduggery, she's not being professional - Tanith Low

I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.

You," Sanguine said, "are the worst psychic I've ever met.

She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person's teenage years lasted well into their fifties.

I know how easy it is to be swept away by stories, by things you wish were real.

Me? Stay out of trouble? Shouldn't be a problem in the slightest? - Valkyrie

I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through.

Tell me: do you ever actually remember having a heart, or were you born dead?

That's no dog," he said. "It looks like a monkey and a dog fell in love and had babies and this is the ugly one they didn't want.

Sabine pulled herself out of the water behind him, and glared up as she hung there. You spat on me.

Are you taking my hat hostage?

You're under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?

They've called me a great many things over the years, but my name is Nefarian Serpine.

They faced each other. 'I'm going to enjoy this,'Melancholia said.
'I daresay I'm not.

Are you kidding? I jumped off a building
of course I'm hurt.

It was a trap. It was so obviously a trap.
Darquesse smiled.

Tanith has a sword.' said Valkyrie. 'I want a stick.'
'I'll get you a stick for Christmas

She glared at him. "I'm not weird like that. I'm good weird. I'm cool weird."
"Yes," he said doubtfully. "Yes, you are.

Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan.'
'Do we have the right plan?'
'Not yet.'
'Do we have any plan?'
'Not yet.

Serpine: You have caused me so much trouble over the years detective. It's almost a shame to end it
Skulduggery: You're surrendering?

Scapegrace went to roll his eyes, but lost his enthusiasm halfway through and ended up looking at the ceiling.

You hear things."
"Do I?"
"People talk to you."
"I am very approachable.

I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.

Cow - Tanith Low

Do you have a weapon for me, or do you want me to beat her to death with a large stick? - Mr Bliss

If you can't stand to be alone with your thoughts, maybe there's something wrong with your thoughts.

She wants to be polite and not hurt your feelings, so she's not going to laugh right now. But inside, inside she's laughing.

This girl (Stephanie) is but a few months away from her seventeenth birthday and already she has saved the world and killed a god. What have you done?

I just want to let you know that I love you all. Even those of you that I don't like; that's you Beryl.

We already have a Death Bringer, thank you. We don't need another one. - Oblivious

Very' is such a strong word...

Valkyrie, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your friend is most likely dead."
"Of course he's dead. He's a skeleton.

You said I was your number-one pick."
"And you are. In our hearts. Alphabetically, though, Dusk comes before you.

Cheer up everyone, since we're all going to die horribly anyway, what's there to be worried about? - Skulduggery Pleasant.

We've decided to get a pet," her dad announced ... "Like, I don't know, a brother or a sister?

Now quit your bellyaching and dance with me, you subaquatic fool. - Susan, to Gordon (The Horror Writers' Halloween Ball)

Hmmm ... that's interesting."
"What?"
"There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun.

By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?'
'You can call me whatever you like.'
Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys.

I don't find you suspicious at all.' He turned to Martha and whispered, 'I find him incredibly suspicious.

You're late,' he said.
'I'm beautiful.'
'You're always beautiful.'
'I'm always late too.

Mum," she called, "we're out of milk."
"Damn lazy cows," her mother muttered.

Bravery is the acknowledgment and the conquering of fear.

Doors are for people with no imagination.

Please forgive me, Pleasant said, then aimed the gun at the girl and pulled the trigger.

You have an amazing ability to depress me sometimes, you know that?"
"I try my best.

And The Darkness Rained Upon Them. The

We punch people, Valkyrie. That's who we are. Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.

Plans are invitation to disappointment.

Right, well, we've got to work out what we need. We've got to work out what we need, how we get it, and what we need to get to get what we need.

The calm before the storm

Just a few questions for you, Mr. Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we've become friends in these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?

It's a white-knuckle roller-coaster ride.

You've been reading Gordan's book again, haven't you?"
"It's a white-knuckle roller-coaster ride," she mumbled.

I... I think I broke his jaw. And bit his finger off."
"You bit his finger?"
"I bit his finger off.

You're not stealing anything, you're not breaking anything, so I'd guess you're Stephanie.

You can only anticipate what someone is going to do if you know exactly what that someone has just done.'
Skulduggery

Still, he figured, sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do, and then sometimes you've just got to run like hell after it's done.

The greatest enemy we can face is ourselves, and the greatest battle is against the darkness within.

A theory is the academic equivalent of a guess. - Gordon

I could've died because you had to tie your shoelace?

Her reflection had hidden something from her.
This, Valkyrie thought to herself, is probably not a good sign.

her," he said. "She stares. That's what she does

The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven."
"Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil

Any moment now, China was about to perspire.

I find it rude to laugh at a man with a sword.

Mum, Dad, Fergus... this is Skulduggery Pleasant

Oh, we're all mad around here, Ed! - Clarabelle

What would killing the Elders result in?"
"Panic? Fear? Three empty parking spaces in the Sanctuary?

Because I'm an English ninja," Tanith replied. "We're just like regular ninjas, except we wear leather and flirt more.

He was so strong," Francine sobbed. "So proud. So much dignity. How did he die?"
"Wood chipper," said Valkyrie.

Do not try to hit me again." "How about me?" Skulduggery said as he ran up behind him. "Can I hit you?

Annis had never been a people person, unless 'people person' was defined as a person who ate people.