Bobby Heenan Quotes

You know they say money can't buy happiness. Give me 50 bucks and watch me smile

I don't look at myself as a hero or smart person. I have a seventh-grade education, but I've had a lot of fun.

When The Phenoix Suns are missing two basketballs, they'll know where to look!

There's nothing better than a good, blind referee.

I heard a rumor that your mom and dad ran away from home.

A friend in need is a pest.

Its amazing that Lou Ferrigno can talk with fifty pounds of cracker in his mouth.

I'd love to be popular in Barcelona. That sounds like a fun job.

This guy makes coffee nervous.

Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire. They're a lovely twosome, or threesome, or foursome, or twenty-fifthsome.

To Jim Duggan, taking a shower is a high risk maneuver.

Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more english you get out of him.

Remember folks, fish are like relatives. After two days, they stink.

Obviously some cheap motel is missing a shower curtain.

It's a dog eat dog world, and Mr. Perfect is a Milk Bone.

I'm a legend in this sport. If you don't believe me, ask me.

You don't have to yell at me Schiavone. I'm not blind!

He's not pointing to anybody, he's showing off how high he can count!

You'd have a good voice, if it ever came out of your throat.

Have you ever been to Glens Falls? The city limits signs are on the same post.

It's very hard to get out of this hold, that's why you either have to scoot backwards, move forwards, or try to get up.

North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?

There's only two kinds of music I don't like ... Country and Western.

And for those of you that dropped out of high school, remember the famous phrase: 'Do you want fries with that?'

I know all about cheating. I've had six very successful marriages.

The money's the same, whether you earn it or scam it.

The two things that scare me most about wrestling fans is that they're allowed to vote and allowed to reproduce.

Oh, I knew he was gonna do that. I just knew he was gonna do that. He don't need Jannetty. I told you that off and on.

You can win, it'll just cost you some money.

By the time The Iron Sheik gets to the ring, it will be Wrestlemania 37!

What are you doing, looking at me with one eye and chasing a fly with the other?

There's the downtown area of Tupelo. Did you see the skyscrapers? Two stories.

You're 83? Really? You don't look it. I would've guessed 81 or 82.

[On Sting] He threw a sucker punch. There's the sucker who threw the punch. Him the the Bart Simpson hair doo.

There's a counter for every hold and a hold for every counter, and a lunch counter for every person that you know Schivone.

He's the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs.

I asked Stu Hart earlier. I said, 'Stu, you gotta be proud of your boys.' He said, 'I have boys?'

Hawaii's the 50th state? I thought it was a suburb of Guam.

This (Paris,France) wouldn't be a bad place, but it's full of Frenchmen.

Stu Hart trained all his kids
only three of them use the litter box.

He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!

Koko B. Ware ... his mom's first name was Tupper.

They're living proof that the 3 stooges had children.

Are there any swamps in Oklahoma? Yes, there is. It's called Tulsa.

You win some and you lose some. Unless you're Virgil, then you lose them all.

Janetty tried to dive through the window to escape, what an act of cowardice.

When's the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone there unconsious?

If you're poor and you do something stupid, you're nuts. If you're rich and do something stupid, you're eccentric.

I once asked him what came at the end of the sentence ... and he said "parole".