Ray Romano quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Ray Romano

Ray Romano Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Ray Romano on Wise Famous Quotes.

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

Failure-it centers me. Too much success has me thinking, All right, what's goin' on?

My wife said to me 'I hope you win ... but if you do and you go up and say you love me, don't think it makes up for never saying it when we're alone.

In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you're doing.

If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.

I don't want to say work is who I am, but some people feel more centered and more whole when they're producing and creating.

Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform..

Well, I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means.

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.

Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we're middle-aged, neurotic and fat.

I'll be spending the holidays with my family. Nothing special, just some light bickering and biting sarcasm.

Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.

As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.

I still do standup.

My daughter's tricycle said "Some Assembly Required." It came in a jar.

Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.

After 'Raymond,' there was this big feeling of, 'What do I do next?'

I've always wondered, what am I going to do that's important with these stupid jokes that I tell.

If you are someone, you know, with fame, whatever amount, it's good to be married to someone who's not impressed with that at all.

Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.

I just don't want to play the same guy again over and over.

I don't know if you want to see the Everybody Loves Raymond guy in a nude scene.

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.

That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.

Why can't I love him (a 2 yr old nephew) from afar? That's how I want to love him - through pictures and folklore.

The married man has all but eliminated that worry from his life, simply because his wife knows all about him: the good, the bad, and the tiny.

I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep yourself alive.

I am like Hugh Hefner minus anything good about his life.

The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.

For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.

I live in L.A. Now.

I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.

It's starting to feel good, although I don't like feeling too good - that's not where my comedy comes from.

My wife gets so jealous. She came home from work and was mad at me because there was a pretty girl on the bus she thought I would have liked.

I love hitting into the rough because it gets me close to the people.

I'm a little different from the average dude because I'm on high-def TV now.

I still got my hair, I'm not fat.

That's the one thing I have over any twenty-one-year-old: a proud history of accumulated neuroses. That's the game in which I'm da man.

You know, a TV show is a slow build.

The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you're, if we're talking about comedy, of the live audience.

I'm from New York.

I do still get intimidated by certain things.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.

My career has been my craziest adventure.

I lived at home till I was 29.

I still feel like an immature idiot inside, but I look in the mirror and - as a friend of mine once said- this old guy keeps getting in the way.

I love standup and I haven't given it up.

Whenever I get down about life going by too quickly, what helps me is a little mantra that I repeat to myself: at least I'm not a fruit fly.

I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.

I do what I do because I love it.

My theory has always been that everyone in show business is there because they were deprived of some attention as a child.

I like doing film, you know, single-camera.

I can't complain about my career, that's for sure.

The fact that they let me in a movie with Gene Hackman has left me with no faith in show buisness.

I have this mistress: show business.

If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.

You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.

I don't think men talk as much as women, but when we have something on our minds we'll get it out.

My kids are growing up and it's hard to accept they are their own person and they're independent.

I'm aging, and the world is seeing it.

I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.

I don't get sick.

I was wracked with insecurity.

I don't want to be a spokesman for family values, but that's the way my standup is perceived.

I want to do well and I want to fit in.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.

Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity..

I married a saint - well, a saint who curses.