Jokes On You Quotes
Collection of top 66 famous quotes about Jokes On You
Jokes On You Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Jokes On You quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.
— Billie Joe Armstrong
You need to be my wife to win with me.
— Pawan Mishra
I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.
— John Oliver
What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.
— Carlos Mencia
Don't threaten me with a good time.
— Michael Anthony
They're in trouble, Kaz had thought. Or you were dead wrong about Matthias, and you're about to pay for all of those talking tree jokes.
— Leigh Bardugo
GreenHollyWood blocked me on skype..., and why???I can't make black jokes???
So you can make, but I can't so sad! — Deyth Banger
I aspire to bean old man
with an old wife
laughing at old jokes
from a wild youth. — Atticus Poetry
Please", I scoff. "Dot-com jokes are so two visions ago. Stay on your toes, Angotti, or you're off the team.
— Lisa McMann
That sun is lookin' good ... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome.
— Tom Bergeron
Time for black jokes, what's the time??Can you handle it! — Deyth Banger
Never joke at funerals, or during business transactions.
— Herman Melville
She laughed at bad jokes, stayed out too late, and overslept too often. Charity Hill loved holidays and she hated budgets and the alarm clock.
— Elizabeth Jane Howard
One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.
— Desi Arnaz
I think writers have become hypnotised by the number of jokes on the page at the expense of character.
— Sherwood Schwartz
It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic.
— Iliza Shlesinger
In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.
— Frank Dane
Popular men who laugh at your jokes pose a threat which blatant villains can never command.
— Lindsey Davis
Fate does not play jokes.
— Gamal Abdel Nasser
Q: What do Jesus and Nicole Brown Simpson have in common? A: They were both killed by the Joooooooose.
— Helen Thomas
I used to wonder why people made New Jersey jokes. I don't anymore.
— E.J. Copperman
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
— Johnny Carson
Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jokes about that.
— Lewis Black
On Anzac Day, coffee and jokes with a Turk might be the most meaningful and fair dinkum dawn service you could possibly have.
— Michael Leunig
Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first before it boomerangs. — Langston Hughes
They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.
— Ryan North
I have a file of four million jokes ... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it.
— Milton Berle
There is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes.
— C.S. Lewis
Did you just make a joke, Tris? We should have you on painkillers more often if your going to start cracking jokes.
— Veronica Roth
Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you're (linguistically) dead.
— David Crystal
I remember, growing up, if something big - God forbid - happened, the first jokes you heard on the subject came out of Jersey.
— Oscar Nunez
You can never have a thousand percent batting average on jokes - it's just never going to happen.
— Paul Feig
You can make a movie that's more focused on the jokes, but Young Adult was not that kind of movie.
— Kristen Stewart
At least you are back to being normal size." She gave a strangled laugh. "If the size of a cucumber on steroids is normal that is.
— Charlene Hartnady
You never want to be the one who everyone is going to bust jokes on. The only way to prevent that is to be good at something.
— Marshawn Lynch
Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes.
— Demetri Martin
A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes.
— Pawan Mishra
I love my jokes.
— Dave Chappelle
My English is closer to the literary English, and I'm not very familiar with jokes in English or with, you know, with small talk in English.
— J.M.G. Le Clezio
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
— Mitch Hedberg
Medicine is a very old joke, but it still goes on.
— Andre Maurois
All crises, once averted, become jokes.
— Edan Lepucki
Mom, how come you never go outside?""I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel
I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.
— Kathleen Madigan
I conjured for him electric skies and iridescent seas and evenings full of laughter and silly jokes.
— Jojo Moyes
Nurse: "You look like a pharmaceutical rep. you can leave samples in the closet."Joe: "I'm actually a lawyer."
Nurse: "My condolences. — Jodi Picoult
If they invent a car that runs on stupid jokes, you could go far.
— Haruki Murakami
I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
— Tahar Ben Jelloun
The main jokes in this film are about big things, love and life and zombies - we all get that.
— Simon Pegg
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes.
— Scott Aukerman
Yes, my mom does keep making references to marriage, like all mothers do, but it's only in a lighter mood ... she just jokes.
— Saina Nehwal
Come. We must go deeper with no justice and no jokes.
— Michael Ondaatje
A friend of mine jokes that I have a painstaking royalty complex. Like maybe I was a duke in a past life.
— Frank Ocean
No jokes, no banter. No pre-mission
— Lee Child
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