Jokes On You Quotes: top 66 famous quotes about Jokes On You

Jokes On You Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Jokes On You quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke. — Billie Joe Armstrong

You need to be my wife to win with me. — Pawan Mishra

I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love. — John Oliver

What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes. — Carlos Mencia

My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done. — Woody Allen

Don't threaten me with a good time. — Michael Anthony

They're in trouble, Kaz had thought. Or you were dead wrong about Matthias, and you're about to pay for all of those talking tree jokes. — Leigh Bardugo

GreenHollyWood blocked me on skype..., and why???
I can't make black jokes???
So you can make, but I can't so sad! — Deyth Banger

I aspire to be
an old man
with an old wife
laughing at old jokes
from a wild youth. — Atticus Poetry

Please", I scoff. "Dot-com jokes are so two visions ago. Stay on your toes, Angotti, or you're off the team. — Lisa McMann

That sun is lookin' good ... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome. — Tom Bergeron

Time for black jokes, what's the time??
Can you handle it! — Deyth Banger

Never joke at funerals, or during business transactions. — Herman Melville

She laughed at bad jokes, stayed out too late, and overslept too often. Charity Hill loved holidays and she hated budgets and the alarm clock. — Elizabeth Jane Howard

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes. — Desi Arnaz

I think writers have become hypnotised by the number of jokes on the page at the expense of character. — Sherwood Schwartz

It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic. — Iliza Shlesinger

In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before. — Frank Dane

Popular men who laugh at your jokes pose a threat which blatant villains can never command. — Lindsey Davis

Fate does not play jokes. — Gamal Abdel Nasser

Q: What do Jesus and Nicole Brown Simpson have in common? A: They were both killed by the Joooooooose. — Helen Thomas

I used to wonder why people made New Jersey jokes. I don't anymore. — E.J. Copperman

I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them. — Johnny Carson

Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jokes about that. — Lewis Black

On Anzac Day, coffee and jokes with a Turk might be the most meaningful and fair dinkum dawn service you could possibly have. — Michael Leunig

Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first
before it boomerangs. — Langston Hughes

They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes. — Ryan North

You can dissect a joke just as you can a frog. But it tends to die on you. — E.B. White

I have a file of four million jokes ... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it. — Milton Berle

There is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes. — C.S. Lewis

Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best. — Aziz Ansari

Did you just make a joke, Tris? We should have you on painkillers more often if your going to start cracking jokes. — Veronica Roth

Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you're (linguistically) dead. — David Crystal

I remember, growing up, if something big - God forbid - happened, the first jokes you heard on the subject came out of Jersey. — Oscar Nunez

You can never have a thousand percent batting average on jokes - it's just never going to happen. — Paul Feig

You can make a movie that's more focused on the jokes, but Young Adult was not that kind of movie. — Kristen Stewart

At least you are back to being normal size." She gave a strangled laugh. "If the size of a cucumber on steroids is normal that is. — Charlene Hartnady

You never want to be the one who everyone is going to bust jokes on. The only way to prevent that is to be good at something. — Marshawn Lynch

Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes. — Demetri Martin

A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes. — Pawan Mishra

I love my jokes. — Dave Chappelle

My English is closer to the literary English, and I'm not very familiar with jokes in English or with, you know, with small talk in English. — J.M.G. Le Clezio

If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess. — Honeya

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. — Mitch Hedberg

Being anti-war in Hollywood was an act of bravery on the order of the keynote speaker at a PLO dinner making jokes about Ariel Sharon. — Ann Coulter

Medicine is a very old joke, but it still goes on. — Andre Maurois

All crises, once averted, become jokes. — Edan Lepucki

Mom, how come you never go outside?"
"I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel

I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage. — Kathleen Madigan

I conjured for him electric skies and iridescent seas and evenings full of laughter and silly jokes. — Jojo Moyes

The public is gullible ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth. — Bill Maher

You know, OK, I made a few jokes and they killed 3000 Americans. Fair trade. — Ann Coulter

Nurse: "You look like a pharmaceutical rep. you can leave samples in the closet."
Joe: "I'm actually a lawyer."
Nurse: "My condolences. — Jodi Picoult

If they invent a car that runs on stupid jokes, you could go far. — Haruki Murakami

I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter. — Tahar Ben Jelloun

I am not much for philosophy, but that old Descartes, he got me thinking. And therefore being. Anyone? Anyone? Cogito ergo sum jokes? No? Okay. — John Green

The main jokes in this film are about big things, love and life and zombies - we all get that. — Simon Pegg

I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes. — Scott Aukerman

I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared. — Mitt Romney

Yes, my mom does keep making references to marriage, like all mothers do, but it's only in a lighter mood ... she just jokes. — Saina Nehwal

Come. We must go deeper with no justice and no jokes. — Michael Ondaatje

A friend of mine jokes that I have a painstaking royalty complex. Like maybe I was a duke in a past life. — Frank Ocean

No jokes, no banter. No pre-mission — Lee Child

[The people that worked on The Simpsons] just had good taste. They knew how to execute absurd jokes. — Eric Andre

I've always admired your ability to make jokes when faced with adversity. — Jim Butcher

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard. — Kathy Griffin