Funny He Man Quotes
Collection of top 61 famous quotes about Funny He Man
Funny He Man Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny He Man quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
— Rita Rudner
A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.
— H.L. Mencken
Heck by the time a man scratches his behind, clears his throat, and tells me how smart he is, we've already wasted fifteen minutes.
— Lyndon B. Johnson
The man may not be dead, but he was certainly stiff. And this had nothing to do with rigor mortis.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.
— Frederick Bushnell "Jack" Ryder
Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.
— Natasha Leggero
Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
— Rita Rudner
I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella.
— Jimmy Cannon
Alright, manly man," he says. "Go prove that you're a man.
— Jessica Sorensen
All men are tragic ... All men are comic ... Every man is important if he loses his life; and every man is funny if he loses his hat.
— G.K. Chesterton
I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away.
— Henny Youngman
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
— Henny Youngman
I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
— Rodney Dangerfield
Life is a crowded superhighway with bewildering cloverleaf exits on which a man is liable to find himself speeding back in the direction he came.
— Peter De Vries
I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset.
— Hannah Harrington
He looks like a horse in a man costume!
— Dylan Moran
He was funny, smart, charming...and a monumental slut. Dean had all the makings of a man-sized Venus Flytrap. -Lex
— Staci Hart
I was surprised he didn't just spit the nails into the wood like Popeye the Sailor Man.
— Josh Lanyon
Every man is important if he loses his life;and every man is funny if he loses his hat and has to run after it.
— Gilbert K. Chesterton
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
— Henny Youngman
Webster said, 'Time them skeeters get done with that old man, his French blood will be all gone and he will speak American as good as we do.
— Peter Matthiessen
Are you real?" Stupid. Of course he's real."Yes, Julie. I'm not the mystical man from your dreams. — Caroline George
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
— Tommy Cooper
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
— G. Gordon Liddy
He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
— Margaret Smith
There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'
— William Cosmo Monkhouse
Dallas popped his jaw. I do not cackle. I bitch like a he-man.
— Gena Showalter
They call me the confuser. Is he a man ... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
— Noel Fielding
Hoover, if elected, will do one thing that is almost incomprehensible to the human mind: he will make a great man out of Coolidge.
— Clarence Darrow
A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on His shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road.
— Tommy Cooper
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
— Robert Frost
"And then we played Ping-Pong - ""Not pool? I always assumed he was a billiards man - I mean, it's so handy the way he keeps a stick up his - — Claire LaZebnik
The man who tries to be funny is lost. To lose one's naturalness is always to lose the sympathy of your audience.
— Harold Lloyd
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."
— Rodney Dangerfield
Christian is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys.
— Charles Barkley
A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
— Charles Dickens
In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"
— Henny Youngman
![Funny He Man Quotes By Patrick Rothfuss: I do not understand this man," [Tempi] said.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/funny-he-man-quotes-by-patrick-rothfuss-905426.jpg "Funny He Man Quotes By Patrick Rothfuss: I do not understand this man,\" [Tempi] said.")
