Funny Dating Quotes

Check my riddle, and I'll let you play my fiddle. — Zack Love

I attacked him, he healed me, then he took me hunting, I threatened him, and he took me home. Wow. That was like a date. — Juliann Whicker

Consider all the past as nothing, and say, like David: Now I begin to love my God. — Saint Francis De Sales

Hormones, it seemed, we're making a much-delayed appearance in her life.

Liv was horrified. — Danika Stone

A boy and a girl started dating after he backed his car into hers. They met by accident. — Adam Young

Let nothing be done in your life, which will cause you fear if it becomes known to your neighbor. — Epicurus

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people. — F Scott Fitzgerald

Ah, yes, the mix tape. The mating call of the introvert. — Sophia Dembling

I realized I'd only seen him at night in dim, flattering restaurant lighting. The sun was not his friend. — Augusten Burroughs

When I opened the door, Andrew was standing there like a remedy for heart palpitations. Or maybe he made them worse. It was hard to tell. — N.R. Walker

Have these gentlemen ever seen a revolution? — Frederick Engles

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man". — Russell Beland

Tip#27

Kiss a girl if you're a female,

If you're a single male kiss a Guy

(Idea)
It's fun to offend society ~ — Hazel Cartwright

Death was the ultimate power and I his eager, willing apprentice. — Susan Kay

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her. — Lenny Bruce

I'd like to say I'm not dressed up for anyone in particular, but that would be a lie. — Lisa Daily

Becka was almost good looking enough to be on a reality dating show, but not funny looking or sad enough to be on one of the makeover shows. — Kelly Link

Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all. — Matshona Dhliwayo

I am a member of the team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion. — Mia Hamm

It's never paid to bet against America. We come through things, but its not always a smooth ride. — Warren Buffett

Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend. — Lucy Liu

One looks, looks long, and the world comes in. — Joseph Campbell

So long as you fight in the darkness, you stand in the light. — Sabaa Tahir

I try to hook you up every day. What's the point of calendars without dates? — Lauren Kate

It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage. — Helen Fielding

In my life I find that memories of the spirit linger and sweeten long after memories of the brain have faded. — Harry Connick Jr.

I am dating, but it is hard to find someone quick enough and funny enough. I am quite demanding. — Anne Robinson

I do like dating cynics - they tend to be incredibly funny. — Chris Pine

All my life has been about proving myself. — Edgerrin James

Mindfulness Makes the Mystery Meaningful — Dennis Merritt Jones

You know you've reached the end of a relationship: when your lover now demands that your jokes be funny before they laugh. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

And there lies the horror: the past we remember is devoid of time. Impossible to reexperience a love the way we reread a book or resee a film. — Milan Kundera