Dark Humor Quotes

Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Dark Humor

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Dark Humor Quotes By Mark Twain: I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself. — Mark Twain
Dark Humor Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Dark Humor Quotes By Ron Swanson: I'm a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired I'm a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food. — Ron Swanson
Dark Humor Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: She asked if I loved another woman, so She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Dark Humor Quotes By El-P: That dark humor has always been a part That dark humor has always been a part of what I've done. It's always been somewhat tongue-in-cheek. — El-P
Dark Humor Quotes By Nick Helm: I needed a password eight characters long so I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. — Nick Helm
Dark Humor Quotes By Alan Moore: I'm not a particularly dark individual. I have I'm not a particularly dark individual. I have my moments, it's true, but I do have a sense of humor. — Alan Moore
Dark Humor Quotes By Ankita Singhal: Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes. — Ankita Singhal
Dark Humor Quotes By Maggie Stiefvater: The victim lay on his face, as most The victim lay on his face, as most people did after being stuck with ten swords. — Maggie Stiefvater
Dark Humor Quotes By Olivia Munn: I have a dark sense of humor. I have a dark sense of humor. — Olivia Munn
Dark Humor Quotes By Jonas Eriksson: You sick bastard," she said."Yes, I guess you You sick bastard," she said.
"Yes, I guess you could call me that." Terry replied. — Jonas Eriksson
Dark Humor Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Love is bread and water to the soul. Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Dark Humor Quotes By Fakeer Ishavardas: My condolences, you're still alive. My condolences, you're still alive. — Fakeer Ishavardas
Dark Humor Quotes By Red Tash: I envisioned him tied in a chair, an I envisioned him tied in a chair, an iron arrow pointed at his brow. Ah, the power of positive thinking. — Red Tash
Dark Humor Quotes By Dannika Dark: I never arrive unannounced without something big and I never arrive unannounced without something big and juicy in hand.
- Simon Hunt — Dannika Dark
Dark Humor Quotes By Pat Frank: How can we cash out-of-town checks when don't How can we cash out-of-town checks when don't know whether a town's still there? — Pat Frank
Dark Humor Quotes By Kelley Armstrong: Just stay still, if you stay still it Just stay still, if you stay still it can't find you. That's sharks, you idiot. Sharks and dinosaurs. This isn't Jurassic Park. — Kelley Armstrong
Dark Humor Quotes By Troy Bisson: I love the movie "Titanic." It's my favorite I love the movie "Titanic." It's my favorite romantic comedy! — Troy Bisson
Dark Humor Quotes By Rob Thurman: The guy had guts - I had to The guy had guts - I had to give him that. Later on I was hoping for a first-hand look at them. — Rob Thurman
Dark Humor Quotes By Casey Renee Kiser: He comes.And he comesloadedwith noise pollution.If I ever He comes.
And he comes
loaded
with noise pollution.
If I ever prayed for anything,
it was for a man
to shut up. — Casey Renee Kiser
Dark Humor Quotes By Maryrose Wood: It makes no difference what you wear, really. It makes no difference what you wear, really. I'll put you in a dark grey. I believe I have some left over from a funeral. says the dressmaker. — Maryrose Wood
Dark Humor Quotes By Clint Catalyst: It's so hard being goth. You have to It's so hard being goth. You have to have a bad time everywhere. — Clint Catalyst
Dark Humor Quotes By Judy Allen: Few humans see fairies or hear their music, Few humans see fairies or hear their music, but many find fairy rings of dark grass, scattered with toadstools, left by their dancing feet. — Judy Allen
Dark Humor Quotes By Ryan Parrott: There's a word for people you hate, but There's a word for people you hate, but not enough to let them die...

...Family — Ryan Parrott
Dark Humor Quotes By Olga Goa: Scusi mia bella*, but it runs in the Scusi mia bella*, but it runs in the blood of all Italians to be skillful lovers. So you have to get used to this. — Olga Goa
Dark Humor Quotes By Kirby Wright: My dark comic edge is the end result My dark comic edge is the end result of trying to use humor to maintain my sanity growing up in a dysfunctional family in Honolulu. — Kirby Wright
Dark Humor Quotes By Julie Kagawa: A few of the savage creatures (rabids) I A few of the savage creatures (rabids) I could deal with, but taking on this many ventured very close to suicide. Once was enough, thanks — Julie Kagawa
Dark Humor Quotes By Olga Goa: If you go on touching me, I'll catch If you go on touching me, I'll catch fire before your eyes. — Olga Goa
Dark Humor Quotes By Lorraine Gokul: Love is photogenic, it develops in the dark. Love is photogenic, it develops in the dark. — Lorraine Gokul
Dark Humor Quotes By Justine Larbalestier: A difference in self loathing? Please. The only A difference in self loathing? Please. The only difference between a gun and a rope is the time it takes to tie the knot. — Justine Larbalestier
Dark Humor Quotes By Takeshi Obata: Misa: I can't even imagine a world without Misa: I can't even imagine a world without light!
L: Well yes, that would be quite dark. — Takeshi Obata
Dark Humor Quotes By Shel Silverstein: I'm Reginald Clark, I'm afraid of the darkSo I'm Reginald Clark, I'm afraid of the dark
So please do not close this book on me. — Shel Silverstein
Dark Humor Quotes By Joss Stirling: I'm not afraid of the dark.I am. Humor I'm not afraid of the dark.
I am. Humor me. — Joss Stirling
Dark Humor Quotes By Olga Goa: And you haven't got a 'pause' button, have And you haven't got a 'pause' button, have you? You are just uncontrollable! — Olga Goa
Dark Humor Quotes By Lisa Shearin: Ian stepped out to where he knew I Ian stepped out to where he knew I could clearly see and identify his tall, dark, and dangerous self. — Lisa Shearin
Dark Humor Quotes By Leslie Mann: I like dark humor. My favorite movie of I like dark humor. My favorite movie of all time is 'Harold and Maude.' — Leslie Mann
Dark Humor Quotes By Self: Try & try until you cannot succeed. Try & try until you cannot succeed. — Self
Dark Humor Quotes By Adventure Time: When bad things happen, I know you want When bad things happen, I know you want to believe they are a joke, But sometimes life is scary and dark. That is why we must find the light. — Adventure Time
Dark Humor Quotes By Stephenie Meyer: She searched for something to say, something that She searched for something to say, something that would make the world a little less dark and scary for him.
'Pop-Tart?' she offered. — Stephenie Meyer
Dark Humor Quotes By Dannika Dark: He circled around me, whispering in my ear. He circled around me, whispering in my ear. "I'm O positive. I'm everyone's type. — Dannika Dark
Dark Humor Quotes By Brian Azzarello: Loop, you shot him in the head... Fuck Loop, you shot him in the head... Fuck yeah he dead. — Brian Azzarello
Dark Humor Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I am in love, and the river is I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I'd better go drown myself before I freeze to death. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Dark Humor Quotes By Nenia Campbell: I'm as lucky as a bed of oysters I'm as lucky as a bed of oysters on cioppino night. — Nenia Campbell
Dark Humor Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I unwrapped my love for her like one I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Dark Humor Quotes By Dannika Dark: I was beginning to think that Simon just I was beginning to think that Simon just had a bad case of OCD, ADD, and PMS. With a little BS and OMG mixed in. — Dannika Dark
Dark Humor Quotes By Dannika Dark: So I flirt with disaster once or twice. So I flirt with disaster once or twice. Who doesn't?"
He snorted. "You don't just flirt with disaster, you have intercourse with it. — Dannika Dark
Dark Humor Quotes By Larissa Ione: Arik didn't know how long he'd been in Arik didn't know how long he'd been in hell. Time was one never-ending, no-lube f&*k when you were in the dark and in agony. — Larissa Ione
Dark Humor Quotes By Nick Hornby: I've committed to nothing ... and that's just I've committed to nothing ... and that's just suicide ... by tiny, tiny increments. — Nick Hornby
Dark Humor Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: He was an Atlantean ... older than dirt He was an Atlantean ... older than dirt and dirt's great-grandfather. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Dark Humor Quotes By Marina And The Diamonds: I quite like dark humor. I quite like dark humor. — Marina And The Diamonds
Dark Humor Quotes By Richard Kadrey: Let me make sure I have this straight. Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right? — Richard Kadrey
Dark Humor Quotes By Olga Goa: If your parents left you, it doesn't mean If your parents left you, it doesn't mean that other people will also do it to you. — Olga Goa
Dark Humor Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I make love like farm equipment - not I make love like farm equipment - not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can't tell it. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Dark Humor Quotes By Steuart Henderson Britt: Doing business without advertising is like winking at Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but nobody else does. — Steuart Henderson Britt
Dark Humor Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: If I could bronze my love, it'd be If I could bronze my love, it'd be worthy of a silver medal. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Dark Humor Quotes By Vera Brosgol: I could lose myself forever in that dark I could lose myself forever in that dark hair and those sweet love handles. — Vera Brosgol
Dark Humor Quotes By Michael Chabon: Man makes plans . . . and God Man makes plans . . . and God laughs. — Michael Chabon
Dark Humor Quotes By Amy Jo Cousins: Species went extinct and new ones evolved from Species went extinct and new ones evolved from protozoa while he sat in his car in the dark and waited to see how badly he'd fucked this up. — Amy Jo Cousins
Dark Humor Quotes By Devon Monk: The price for using dark magic is death, The price for using dark magic is death, so that goes a long way toward deterring users. — Devon Monk
Dark Humor Quotes By Lemony Snicket: That night was a dark day. Of course, That night was a dark day. Of course, all nights are dark days, because night is simply a badly lit version of day, ... — Lemony Snicket
Dark Humor Quotes By Terry Pratchett: If per capita was a problem, decapita could If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged — Terry Pratchett
Dark Humor Quotes By Brent Weeks: Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose. - Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose. - Durzo Blint — Brent Weeks
Dark Humor Quotes By Truman Capote: Holly had married him: well, well. I wished Holly had married him: well, well. I wished I were under the wheels of the train. — Truman Capote
Dark Humor Quotes By Elena Satine: I love dark humor that crosses the line I love dark humor that crosses the line and makes you say, 'That's so wrong!' And that's 'Family Guy' to me. — Elena Satine
Dark Humor Quotes By Heather Vogel Frederick: This isn't a strength, Aunt True," I said, This isn't a strength, Aunt True," I said, "but it's dark in here."
"That's because it's nighttime, you moron!" scoffed Danny. — Heather Vogel Frederick
Dark Humor Quotes By Yannis Karatsioris: In the beginning there was Logos ... and In the beginning there was Logos ... and God of course. And it was all extremely boring for Logos because he could never beat God at any game ... — Yannis Karatsioris
Dark Humor Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I love full on, like 65 mph in I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Dark Humor Quotes By Olga Goa: I need only you, Milano, not your money. I need only you, Milano, not your money. — Olga Goa
Dark Humor Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I love being in love, but I also I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Dark Humor Quotes By Chuck Palahniuk: Nothing shows you the straight line from here Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list. — Chuck Palahniuk
Dark Humor Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Our love was a two-person game. At least Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Dark Humor Quotes By Laurell K. Hamilton: It's better to be loved than feared, but It's better to be loved than feared, but if you can't be loved, then fear will do.-Dino quoting Machiavelli — Laurell K. Hamilton
Dark Humor Quotes By K.R. Helms: Life's a grave dig it. Life's a grave dig it. — K.R. Helms
Dark Humor Quotes By J.D. Robb: You're still carrying Africa, but it's eroding at You're still carrying Africa, but it's eroding at the edges.
Great. We're destroying the Dark Continent. — J.D. Robb
Dark Humor Quotes By Tom Upton: All I did was offer to kill your All I did was offer to kill your dog, and the next thing I know I'm being judged. — Tom Upton
Dark Humor Quotes By Jacques Cazotte: Lastly, say to me, if you can, with Lastly, say to me, if you can, with feelings as tender as mine for you: my dear Beelzebub, I adore you... — Jacques Cazotte