Dark Humor Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Dark Humor
Dark Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Dark Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Well, fame is a drug and when you take it away from an addict, things can get ugly.
— Melissa Jo Peltier
He was a strange mix of Heinrich Himmler and Barney the Dinosaur.
— Jonas Eriksson
There are few things in life that are worth waking up to: sex, the dark spices of freshly brewed coffee and bacon.
— Dannika Dark
I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I hate to say it, but it can't be much of a dark conspiracy if a trio of first-year shlubs like us have worked it all out.
— G. Norman Lippert
Beware the dark stranger! He rides a unicycle!
— Stephen King
We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Perhaps I should just bury myself and become a diamond after thousands of years of intense pressure
— Lemony Snicket
In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.
— Neil DeGrasse Tyson
He knew his parents were liars. He'd known since the day he'd found his brother's dead body stuffed inside a suitcase.
— Kirkland Ciccone
Darkness is necessary for evolvement.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
Kill them with kindness, slay them with a smile and murder them with a kiss. ~Caesar~ The Goodbye Man.
— A. Giannoccaro
If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd.
— Shannon L. Alder
The preface? Why would he waste time with the preface? Skip the preface and move on to the meat of the thing!
— Kenneth Oppel
All lines are gray in the dark.
— Nenia Campbell
I am not the worst thing that can happen to you, but I will be the last. ~Caesar~ The Goodbye Man.
— A. Giannoccaro
Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.
— Robert Bloch
So what did you do, drug me, stuff me in the trunk, then dump me like a sacrificial offering into that vampire's coffin? - Shella
— Krista Alasti
Arik didn't know how long he'd been in hell. Time was one never-ending, no-lube f&*k when you were in the dark and in agony.
— Larissa Ione
I make love like farm equipment - not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can't tell it.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I'm as lucky as a bed of oysters on cioppino night.
— Nenia Campbell
Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?
— Richard Kadrey
I quite like dark humor.
— Marina And The Diamonds
He was an Atlantean ... older than dirt and dirt's great-grandfather.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I was beginning to think that Simon just had a bad case of OCD, ADD, and PMS. With a little BS and OMG mixed in.
— Dannika Dark
So I flirt with disaster once or twice. Who doesn't?"He snorted. "You don't just flirt with disaster, you have intercourse with it. — Dannika Dark
I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I'd better go drown myself before I freeze to death.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
This isn't a strength, Aunt True," I said, "but it's dark in here." "That's because it's nighttime, you moron!" scoffed Danny. — Heather Vogel Frederick
Lastly, say to me, if you can, with feelings as tender as mine for you: my dear Beelzebub, I adore you...
— Jacques Cazotte
You're still carrying Africa, but it's eroding at the edges.Great. We're destroying the Dark Continent. — J.D. Robb
Life's a grave dig it.
— K.R. Helms
It's better to be loved than feared, but if you can't be loved, then fear will do.-Dino quoting Machiavelli
— Laurell K. Hamilton
Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list.
— Chuck Palahniuk
I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I need only you, Milano, not your money.
— Olga Goa
I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
In the beginning there was Logos ... and God of course. And it was all extremely boring for Logos because he could never beat God at any game ...
— Yannis Karatsioris
Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but nobody else does.
— Steuart Henderson Britt
I love dark humor that crosses the line and makes you say, 'That's so wrong!' And that's 'Family Guy' to me.
— Elena Satine
Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose. - Durzo Blint
— Brent Weeks
If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged
— Terry Pratchett
That night was a dark day. Of course, all nights are dark days, because night is simply a badly lit version of day, ...
— Lemony Snicket
The price for using dark magic is death, so that goes a long way toward deterring users.
— Devon Monk
Species went extinct and new ones evolved from protozoa while he sat in his car in the dark and waited to see how badly he'd fucked this up.
— Amy Jo Cousins
Man makes plans . . . and God laughs.
— Michael Chabon
If I could bronze my love, it'd be worthy of a silver medal.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
He comes.And he comes
loaded
with noise pollution.
If I ever prayed for anything,
it was for a man
to shut up. — Casey Renee Kiser
The guy had guts - I had to give him that. Later on I was hoping for a first-hand look at them.
— Rob Thurman
Just stay still, if you stay still it can't find you. That's sharks, you idiot. Sharks and dinosaurs. This isn't Jurassic Park.
— Kelley Armstrong
My condolences, you're still alive.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
It makes no difference what you wear, really. I'll put you in a dark grey. I believe I have some left over from a funeral. says the dressmaker.
— Maryrose Wood
I have a dark sense of humor.
— Olivia Munn
The victim lay on his face, as most people did after being stuck with ten swords.
— Maggie Stiefvater
Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes.
— Ankita Singhal
I'm not a particularly dark individual. I have my moments, it's true, but I do have a sense of humor.
— Alan Moore
That dark humor has always been a part of what I've done. It's always been somewhat tongue-in-cheek.
— El-P
She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Misa: I can't even imagine a world without light!L: Well yes, that would be quite dark. — Takeshi Obata
She searched for something to say, something that would make the world a little less dark and scary for him.'Pop-Tart?' she offered. — Stephenie Meyer
When bad things happen, I know you want to believe they are a joke, But sometimes life is scary and dark. That is why we must find the light.
— Adventure Time
Ian stepped out to where he knew I could clearly see and identify his tall, dark, and dangerous self.
— Lisa Shearin
I'm not afraid of the dark.I am. Humor me. — Joss Stirling
I'm Reginald Clark, I'm afraid of the darkSo please do not close this book on me. — Shel Silverstein
Loop, you shot him in the head... Fuck yeah he dead.
— Brian Azzarello
A difference in self loathing? Please. The only difference between a gun and a rope is the time it takes to tie the knot.
— Justine Larbalestier
Love is photogenic, it develops in the dark.
— Lorraine Gokul
My dark comic edge is the end result of trying to use humor to maintain my sanity growing up in a dysfunctional family in Honolulu.
— Kirby Wright
It's so hard being goth. You have to have a bad time everywhere.
— Clint Catalyst