Patton Oswalt Quotes

Top 66 wise famous quotes and sayings by Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt quotes: I like to write, I like to do stand-up, I like to act. I like to write, I like to do stand-up, I like to act.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Part of being in your twenties is not knowing an ally when you see one. Part of being in your twenties is not knowing an ally when you see one.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself. Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.
Patton Oswalt quotes: I'm not familiar with the metric system. I'm not familiar with the metric system.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits. Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"? Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?
Patton Oswalt quotes: I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck. I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.
Patton Oswalt quotes: He smelled like carpeting, Scotch tape, and steak sauce. He smelled like carpeting, Scotch tape, and steak sauce.
Patton Oswalt quotes: 90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on. 90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.
Patton Oswalt quotes: You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not. You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term. Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure. Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.
Patton Oswalt quotes: I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do. I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.
Patton Oswalt quotes: If someone like this were to like me, to like my comedy, and to like the way I conduct myself professionally, it would mean that I suck as a person. If someone like this were to like me, to like my comedy, and to like the way I conduct myself professionally, it would mean that I suck as a person.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Even if it's other people, like on MySpace pages, we're just as collective of enthusiasts now. That seems to be the world we're in. Even if it's other people, like on MySpace pages, we're just as collective of enthusiasts now. That seems to be the world we're in.
Patton Oswalt quotes: You just do as many shows as you can to hone what it is you're working on. You just do as many shows as you can to hone what it is you're working on.
Patton Oswalt quotes: I never said that movies were struggling behind TV. I'm just saying that movies have a better creative cache. I never said that movies were struggling behind TV. I'm just saying that movies have a better creative cache.
Patton Oswalt quotes: I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you. I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.
Patton Oswalt quotes: As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions. As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.
Patton Oswalt quotes: People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got. People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors. Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors.
Patton Oswalt quotes: I identify [myself] as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule. I identify [myself] as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.
Patton Oswalt quotes: The man is clear in his mind. But his soul is mad. The man is clear in his mind. But his soul is mad.
Patton Oswalt quotes: The great ones show you what you can get away with. The shitty ones remind you what never to bother with. The great ones show you what you can get away with. The shitty ones remind you what never to bother with.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Hobos' (a slang term that combines the words 'hope' and 'bowl of beans given to me for free by a woman who then initiated intercourse') Hobos' (a slang term that combines the words 'hope' and 'bowl of beans given to me for free by a woman who then initiated intercourse')
Patton Oswalt quotes: In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing. In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.
Patton Oswalt quotes: I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against. I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.
Patton Oswalt quotes: We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe. We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
Patton Oswalt quotes: We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
Patton Oswalt quotes: If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins. If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
Patton Oswalt quotes: If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh. If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous. Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.
Patton Oswalt quotes: If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on reality, the world we know would drown in blazing happiness. If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on reality, the world we know would drown in blazing happiness.
Patton Oswalt quotes: I've been very lucky in my life in terms of people who are able to tolerate me. I've been very lucky in my life in terms of people who are able to tolerate me.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am. Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Imitation leads to exhilaration when you follow it back to its source. Imitation leads to exhilaration when you follow it back to its source.
Patton Oswalt quotes: I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over. I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over.
Patton Oswalt quotes: To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain. To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain.
Patton Oswalt quotes: As much as I know people love the method and what you can draw out of yourself, a lot of acting is very imaginative. As much as I know people love the method and what you can draw out of yourself, a lot of acting is very imaginative.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you. Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things. Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things.
Patton Oswalt quotes: I'm always trying out new stuff onstage. That's where I do all my writing. I'm always trying out new stuff onstage. That's where I do all my writing.
Patton Oswalt quotes: I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted. I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted.
Patton Oswalt quotes: I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong. I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong.
Patton Oswalt quotes: Comedy and terror and autobiography and comics and literature-they're all the same thing. To me. Comedy and terror and autobiography and comics and literature-they're all the same thing. To me.