There's no reason to speak. I have nothing to say. 
Take it as a token. Because tomorrow when I go, I want you to believe friends are possible. 
Oh sure. Because we always talk about deep down stuff. 
Who becomes you? No one. No one should become me. When I die, I don't want my body or soul inhabited. I wouldn't wish me on anyone. 
I just want the pain to end. 
It was all about hate. There should be laws. We're there laws? Can you legislate against hatred? 
But she never just accepted me for the way I was. 
But I'm no hero. I had to keep my dirty little secret. The worst sin I committed was holding it in; letting the secret blacken me. 
At times like this, I'm thankful I don't feel love. 
Expectations. They ruled my life. -Ch.14 
Because no one can be trusted. 
What awaits you? Eternal peace. Serenity. The light on the other side. What awaits me is unknown. The only certainty is that life is an eternal hell. 
I won't be alive so I won't care who finds me. 
But its not funny. Not to people who've been told they're losers their whole lives and believe they will never be anything else. 
Life is so unfair. 
Is that all I am? A friend?""Of course not," I say. "I love you."
"Am I the only one?" she asks.
"Yes. Completely." First, last, and always.
Oh yeah. That's me. A mystery, even unto herself. 
Arlo: Show her the ropes.Finn: Where do we keep the ropes again?
I hear you. I just don't believe a word you say. 
The stone bench is gray. The grass is gray. My life is dirty gray 
What can happen in a few minutes changes you forever. 
Out of sight, out of mind. My philosophy of life in a test tube. 
What you see, isn't always what you get 
With determination and purpose, I head into the light. 
No one ever found out what was happening inside me. How the pain was eating me away. No one ever came to my rescue, or stood up for me. 
Why am i here? What's my purpose? 
How does he do it? Live. With the fear of death every day. I don't fear death as much as I fear the thought of living. 
This is my vision-what I imagine I'll pass through on my way to the light. The blue sky, the clouds, the rays of light. 
Girls scare me more than boys. Boys are cruel. Girls are mean. 
Trust. That was what this was all about. If you can't trust the one you love, you don't have anything. 
I'm sorry you don't get it, Mom. Sometimes I don't get why I do the things I do. I just know I wake up every morning and wish I was dead. 
She responds by kissing me harder and longer and deeper. She loves me too. She's just afraid. 
Don't choose me. I'm not worth your time. 
Do what, Kim? Lead a normal life? Too late. Way too late. 
I hated him. I hated them all. They made me hate myself even more than I already did. 
Stop trying to save me. You couldn't then; you can't now. 
I don't know why I can't let the insults go, but I can't. I'm the product of every hurt that's ever been laid on me. 
Yeah, I hear the truth. But this is my truth. 
Wiping the rivulet of sweat running down my ear with the bottom of my muscle shirt, I snuck a sniff under my pit. Whoa. Kill a moose 
Like anyone cared where I was, or who I was. 
I had to fight so hard not to cry. 
That's why they call it a dream, Tone. Because it'll never be a reality. 
You won't know until it's over. You won't find me in time. 
Really? It seems too good to be true. I don't trust it. I don't trust anyone. 
You would never understand, Kim. You think I'm normal; you wish I was. 
This is my fault. Mine. Making her think I'd be here for her. 
They didn't guarantee you'd come out a whole person. 
When you discover the joy of reading, your mind opens to a world of wondrous discoveries and infinite possibilities. 
If I was alone I'd find something to do. Read or work on homework or doodle, fake it, so if I was alone it'd look like I wanted to be alone. 
She's still doing it, pushing me into situations I can't handle, making me cope. She knows I can't cope. 
I don't have alot of people to talk to. Not alot of people are worth my time. 
You know what I do to forget the past? I drink my own special concoction. I call it Milk of Amnesia. 
I close my eyes and black out the day. The exhaustion of living through it, surviving. 