J.P. Barnaby Quotes

Can I get your cell phone number so we can text like normal antisocial human beings, since we are both too fucked up to have a conversation?

I can suck the chrome off a bumper and leave the car still standing. In other words, I am sexually gifted, a hero among gay men.

So far he'd been there for three hours, hadn't gotten a thing done, was heading out for a free lunch, and was getting paid for it. Jobs were awesome.

He wanted his mother with the fiery need of a five-year-old lost at Disneyland.