Greg Gutfeld quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Greg Gutfeld

Greg Gutfeld Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Greg Gutfeld on Wise Famous Quotes.

Chris Matthews is so nuts that if he ate a snickers bar it would be cannibalism.

Trying to be cool, as a goal, forces you to ignore any lessons ingrained by the people who made you.

Ask dumb questions and listen quietly for the answers. That's a wisdom stair climber.

The point of cool is to erase your ability to say no. Saying yes buys you cool cachet, but it always ruins your life later.

They say: "We're all immigrants." They mean: You hate brown people. You say: "I'm just for a line. Stand in line, asshole.

As we all know, there is no force stronger in the rhetorical universe than that of liberal race-guilt.

The great thing about being rich is, you can embrace practices that kill the poor - that's what socialism does.

I never quit. I just got fired.

It's an economy based on the tooth fairy.

The problem is, then you see immigrants saving cities in Baltimore and you see 40 Korean groceries get burned down.

Politics is way cool, as long as it's progressive. Conservatives by nature hate politics and politicians.

Job creation is important I think, but it's not the critical issue for Republicans.

The problem with leftism as a vice is that everyone else is stuck with the hangover.

Steer clear of pot. It's an ambition zapper. Wait till you've made it. When you're 45 buy a bong. But for now, buy a suit.

I am not the least bit religious, but at least I stick up for the good work of religion and the cascade of benefits that come from religion.

Celebrities are the doormats to power.

I realized that no one needed to make fun of liberalism. It was hilarious on its own.

I don't like the way my hair looks, so we're going to do the whole show over.

If America was a house, the Left would root for the termites.

I want to make a positive point of Ikea. It makes income inequality a minor distraction.

I'm sure if you could survey the unborn they would prefer the chance for life over the options of solar power.

We need to remember who the enemy is, and then we need to eat them alive.

How can you have a reasonable debate with people who are constantly changing the panic? They are moving the panic to a greater wave of hysteria?

When immigrants go into the worse neighborhood and they fix it up, they should become citizens.

We need an idiot middle ground, where we have to be honest and say, kids can be idiots and cops can be idiots.

The government is controlling your mind through chem trails, we all know this is true.

The only candidate I'd allow to play my music would be Bigfoot, and unless we're talking about foraging for squirrels, he's notoriously apolitical.

Cool is identified only by defining others as uncool. The velvet rope excludes before it invites.

I admire President Obama's ability to trust strangers.

I would like to see a president with a monocle.

Accusing a politician of being politically expedient is like accusing water of being wet or circles for being round.

When you have a TV show or when you are running a magazine, you have to remember that your audience isn't rich. They're not made of money.

Military simulation is an important way of training people for an emergency

The irony of prison is that it takes years and years and years to plan an elaborate escape, but all you have is years and years and years.

I think the reason why 'Red Eye' is popular is because we question the common assumptions that you find elsewhere.

Good people suddenly don't turn bad.

92 people are killed every single day in car fatalities. What if we filmed every one of them? No one would drive cars.

You should try to get fired once in a while. It's good for you.

Makes me want to go to leave the United States and go to a more sensible place, like Texas.

Believe he should have to actually "work" like the rest of us and he thinks the constituents

When you get famous and rich when you're young, what happens is you start feeling insecure.

Delayed gratification is the one thing we ignore these days. And if you delay it, it becomes more pleasurable later in life.

So let me get this straight - we ban guns, but encourage movies glorifying guns?

You can't get more racist than hating black conservatives just because they're black.

The definition of cool: popularity without achievement. It's how President Obama got the youth vote. Ask any kid who voted for him,

Eric Holder sees everything through the prism of race. He keeps that mustache because shaving cream is white.

Republicans do actually care about health care. They just don't care about government-run health care.

Sanctuary cities are a lot like hitchhiking. And the abstract, it feels really good until you feel dead.

Al Sharpton chases the spotlight the way Obama chases golf balls

Move somewhere with decent public transit so you don't drive drunk and hit somebody.

The problem with Republicans and Conservatives is we attack each other.

Ocean privilege does not exist anymore. The world is small. We cannot rely on distance anymore.

If you question whether abortion should be seen as different from removing a tumor, then you must hate women.

Why is our media quick to find evil in our local police, but tnot in Islamic terror?

Commencement addresses are usually garbage. They're for colleges seeking publicity.

I guess if your heart's in the right place, the trash can go anywhere.

who just hasn't committed to

The beauty of progress is that it makes it easier for you to carve out a space to be nonproductive.

That was pretty easy, and I wrote it while delousing my pet tapir.

A funny thing about tolerant people? They're really only tolerant when you agree with them.

Security should not be a black and white thing.

The longer I live, the more I'm convinced the world is just one big high school, with the cool kids always targeting the uncool.

I've always wondered, how did Hitler get away with so much for so long?

ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.

The thing which Reagan did, which was great, was he won the people. He marginalized the media. And that's what you need, an intellectual agility.

If Russia, if Russia had the same military power that America did, earth would be called Russia.

Hurricanes, after all, are the product of global warming, caused by man and his insatiable lust for SUVs (but not private jets).

If a journalist calls you a racist, chances are, all other journalists will call you a racist.

Being a conservative on campus is like bing a goat amongst the taliban. You are never safe.

Cool is a weapon created by creeps to obliterate the morals that good parents instill in their children.

Legal gun ownership always prevails over the emotionalism of the gun control movement.

We're already going down that path with illegal drug use and incarceration. I can't imagine it getting any worse.

The media is Obama's scandal condom.

America is like the greatest hit of the world.

ObamaCare is creating nothing but misery for everybody.

Some things get better with age. And then there's Madonna.

There are always gonna be people that are gonna be offended about something. This will never end.

A Smith & Wesson does more for empowering women than Feminism ever could

Separately.) The truth is that conservatives do have the cool message.

As P. J. O'Rourke once observed, no woman daydreams about being swept off her feet by a liberal.

When the government sees a poor area, its solution is to move the poor out.

I'm thinking about American votes and American - all Americans, black or white have to be concerned about what's happening in the world.

Playboy seems like a sad magazine for me. It seems like for men who would sit around in a bath robe.

The first mistake is trying to explain morality to a terrorist. Like trying to teach a rock to drive. It is impossible.

What I'm going to miss is the competition, being, that's OK, I can watch from the house.

If you're a Republican and rich, that's evil. But if you're a Democrat and rich, that's great.

I don't know if you get anything more adorable than a tiny pig eating an apple. And here's a fun fact. This is how you make apple-smoked bacon.

In the hands of fiends, guns will kill you. In your hands, they protect against such fiends.

Al Gore completely lied about climate change in an effort to make a lot of money.

Fake sympathy is the politicians demanding more cash as they ignore the underlying crisis. They prefer money over morality.

I don't understand why a 40 is a quarter of beer when a 40 is 40 ounces. It's time to embrace the metric system.