Gallagher Quotes

I need wrong to get laughs. I need a normal world so that I can be abnormal, and that's my problem. Comedians need prejudice.

I was the first one to allow a projectile to come off of the stage and into the audience. And I kind of take responsibility for the mosh pit.

People don't know how to behave in public anymore.

Don't you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.

I know what people laugh at. I know their vocabulary.

I don't want to overthrow the government. I wanna fire 'em.

Parents are trying to be friends with their kids rather than draw the line and tell them what proper public behavior would be.