Chuck Klosterman Quotes

Flying to me isn't scary, it's just incredibly boring. And I guess I have a fear of boredom, so in that regard, I'm afraid to fly.

This is what being alive feels like, you know? The place doesn't matter. You just live.

Within these strangely specific conditions, everything is perfect. We are perfect.

Being interesting has been replaced by being identifiable.

It was the kind of love you can only feel toward someone you don't actually know.

Art and love are the same thing: It's the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.

The Sims is an escapist vehicle for people who want to escape to where they already are, which is why I thought this game was made precisely for me.

If I were an adult, I would be drinking coffee; as it is, I'm drinking Mountain Dew.

Styx and The Stones may break my bones but 'More than Words' will never hurt me

Nora Ephron accidentally ruined a lot of lives.

Accelerated culture does not respond well to the nonobvious.

I think people's relationship with the concept of violence changes, and that to me might be a little more interesting.

We're all tourists, sort of. Life is tourism, sort of. As far as I'm concerned, the dinosaurs still hold the lease on this godforsaken rock.

Fake love is a very powerful thing.

History is defined by people who don't really understand what they are defining.

The falling flakes were random and without purpose; the snow was drunker than she was.

I want fake love. But that's all I want, and that's why I can't have it.

Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living.

It's difficult to cope with the infinite variety of the past, and so we apply filters and settle on a few famous names.

The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music 'except country.

Do you know people who insist they like 'all kinds of music'? That actually means they like no kinds of music.

Life is fucking confusing. I don't know anything, and neither do you.

There's even an 1892 novel called Golf in the Year 2000 that (somewhat incredibly) predicts the advent of televised sports.

It"s easier to believe there's a monster under the bed if you've spent the last six months arguing with a monster.

Nothing can be appreciated in a vacuum.

The Disco Group ABBA": They were beards and teeth and natural breasts and whiteness. I

The worst thing you can do to anybody trying to be creative is to demand participation in their vision.

I think the larger sect of liars are people who think they are telling the truth, but who really have no idea what the truth is.

You can't go into the office and be a jerk. You can't yell at your kids or your wife or your husband for no reason. That makes you a terrible person.

People will look at the world without seeing anything beyond their unconscious expectation.

Every generation is more influenced by technology, which is always changing faster.

When I think about the future, I'm not necessarily arguing it's going to be better or worse. I'm just saying it's going to be different.

It doesn't matter what you can do if you don't know why you're doing it.

As of right now, I am in love with her, and that love is the biggest problem in my life.

Instead, we were given a publication called the Weekly Reader, which was like a newspaper for four-foot illiterates.

Science fiction tends to be philosophy for stupid people.

I care about strangers when they're abstractions, but I feel almost nothing when they're literally in front of me.

Saying you like "Piano Man" doesn't mean you like Billy Joel; it means you're willing to go to a piano bar if there's nothing else to do

I am ready to be alone.

Observing someone without context amplifies the experience. The more we know, the less we are able to feel.

Technology evolves faster than people do, faster than biology does.

If Donald Trump loses badly, it could mean the end of the GOP as one of the two significant parties.

Soccer is like punk rock: The product is not necessarily terrible. The problem is the fan base.

If you hate everything, you're a banal asshole ... but if you don't hate anything, you're boring.

But this is how popular culture works: You allow yourself to be convinced you're
sharing a reality that doesn't exist.

I tend to equate sadness with intelligence.

It's someone who views life as a game where the rules are poorly written and designed for abuse.

In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever in and of itself.

The desire to be cool is - ultimately - the desire to be rescued.

Without a soundtrack, human interaction is meaningless.

It is impossible to examine questions we refuse to ask.

Jewel moved 432,000 hardcover copies of A Night Without Armor, thereby making her the best-selling American poet of the past fifty years.

I once loved a girl who almost loved me, but not as much as she loved John Cusack.

I would hate for climate change to be accepted simply because everyone was dying.

[American football] fanbase resemble that of contemporary boxing: rich people watching poor people play a game they would never play themselves.

The soul is a circle

Hitler is the human catch-all for all other terrible humans.

If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.

It might sound chauvinistic, but there is a sad reality in rock music: Bands who depend on support from females inevitably crash and burn.

Important things are inevitably cliche, but nobody wants to admit that.

Klosterman's Razor: the philosophical belief that the best hypothesis is the one that reflexively accepts its potential wrongness to begin with. _

It seems as though our ability to change technology happens so quickly, and our ability to evolve as creatures is still very slow.

The Constitution is awesome, but still overrated; it's like Pet Sounds.

Whenever someone says something that's both realistic and abhorrent, It makes me suspect everyone else is lying about everything else.

It's possible this whole "Why do Latinos love Morrisey?" question will haunt us forever. Fortunately, Canadian academics are on the case.

And the quality all these reasonable failures share is an inability to accept that the statue quo is temporary.

The first moment someone calls for a revolution is usually the last moment I take them seriously.

When I'm walking around, I'm usually drinking pop, so I can't have a mask on. That's why I couldn't be a surgeon.

Both lyrically and sonically, glam metal is the sensible accompaniment for removing one's pants for money.

That's like comparing apples with hermaphroditic ground sloths.

It is important to have questionable friends you can trust unconditionally.

Teaching history to eighth graders is like being a tour guide for people who hate their vacation.

If you aspire to be truly open-minded, you can't just try to see the other side of an argument. That's not enough. You have to go all the way. Over

one of the things they desired most desperately was freedom of religion, based on the premise that Europe wasn't religious enough

People who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they'd never admit in normal conversation.

Sid and Nancy's relationship forever illustrates the worst part of being in love with anyone, which is that people in love can't be reasoned with.

No one has ever honestly said, "I hate that this joke exists, even though it's clearly hilarious." It

Not all crazy people are brilliant, but almost all brilliant people are crazy.

This made her remember why people take up walking: It is because they no longer have anywhere to go.

Leadership is a word people use to reconcile any kind of charisma that was impossible to otherwise explain.

...he was forty bushels beyond bamboozled.

Mostly, we argued about who which of us was better at arguing, and particularly about who had won the previous argument.

Seeing no resolution to my existential recognition of loss, I decide to eat lunch.

Record sales don't matter when the people who bought the records are dead and gone.

So if you've seen Twelve Monkeys more than twice, you're probably a Calvinist.

Being a sexual icon is sort of like being the front man for an Orange County punk band: As soon as you can explain why you're necessary, you're over.

And I'm probably wrong.
Maybe not completely, but partially. And maybe not today, but eventually.

Gay marriage should be legalized in america because gay men are the only men who want to be married.

Outcasts may grow up to be novelists and filmmakers and computer tycoons, but they will never be the athletic ruling class.

But it goes without saying that Michael Jordan could never date Pamela Anderson. That would cause the apocalypse.

Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all the time.

We are losing the ability to understand anything that's even vaguely complex.

If you don't have a job, you don't have a fear of losing it. You fear having to get one.

I keep saying the word 'weird' over and over again, but it's the only way I can describe it.

We argued about how hard it would be to ride a bear, assuming said bear was muzzled.

I doubt that pornography has been good for the advancement of society, but I suspect it's done wonders for the advancement of computer technology.

We are always dying, all the time. That's what living is; living is dying, little by little. It is a sequenced collection of individualized deaths.

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

The most villainous move any person can make is tying a woman to the railroad tracks.

Batman never questions the logic of letting a childhood experience dictate his entire life.