Chris Rock Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Chris Rock

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Chris Rock Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Chris Rock on Wise Famous Quotes.

Chris Rock quotes: Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing. Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
Chris Rock quotes: No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.' No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'
Chris Rock quotes: Nobody really wants to be a stand-up, they want to get on TV. Nobody really wants to be a stand-up, they want to get on TV.
Chris Rock quotes: Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect. Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
Chris Rock quotes: Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you. Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
Chris Rock quotes: Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
Chris Rock quotes: Women need food, water, and complimentsThat's right.And an occasional pair of shoes. Women need food, water, and compliments
That's right.
And an occasional pair of shoes.
Chris Rock quotes: Men do not settle down. Men surrender. Men do not settle down. Men surrender.
Chris Rock quotes: You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing. You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.
Chris Rock quotes: I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house. I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
Chris Rock quotes: Pretty girls have problems too. Pretty girls have problems too.
Chris Rock quotes: Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
Chris Rock quotes: Women can have all the evidence but they still want the confession. Women can have all the evidence but they still want the confession.
Chris Rock quotes: I do what I can do when I can do it. I do what I can do when I can do it.
Chris Rock quotes: School shootings were invented by blacks ... and stolen by the white man. School shootings were invented by blacks ... and stolen by the white man.
Chris Rock quotes: Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest! Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
Chris Rock quotes: If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite. If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.
Chris Rock quotes: Do you know?What the fuck do women want?l know what you want: everything. Do you know?
What the fuck do women want?
l know what you want: everything.
Chris Rock quotes: You don't pay taxes-they take taxes. You don't pay taxes-they take taxes.
Chris Rock quotes: I ain't shooting nobody, so call me a faggot. When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs. I ain't shooting nobody, so call me a faggot. When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs.
Chris Rock quotes: I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan! I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
Chris Rock quotes: There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Chris Rock quotes: I love black people, but I hate niggers. I love black people, but I hate niggers.
Chris Rock quotes: You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers. You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
Chris Rock quotes: You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma. You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.
Chris Rock quotes: When people try to read between the lines - critics, they have a job. Their job is to make something bigger than it is. When people try to read between the lines - critics, they have a job. Their job is to make something bigger than it is.
Chris Rock quotes: I have my own demons and dark moods. It's weird. I have my own demons and dark moods. It's weird.
Chris Rock quotes: We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed. We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
Chris Rock quotes: I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards. I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards.
Chris Rock quotes: I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with. I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
Chris Rock quotes: Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head. Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.
Chris Rock quotes: Yeah, it's unfair that you can get judged by something you didn't do, but it's also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn't work for. Yeah, it's unfair that you can get judged by something you didn't do, but it's also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn't work for.
Chris Rock quotes: Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep. Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
Chris Rock quotes: It's hard for a man to turn down sex ... if they chase us, we can't run that fast. It's hard for a man to turn down sex ... if they chase us, we can't run that fast.
Chris Rock quotes: Artistically I'm curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years. Artistically I'm curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years.
Chris Rock quotes: Being a comedian is a lot like being an athlete. If you're Carl Lewis and you're the fastest, then no matter what you're the fastest. Being a comedian is a lot like being an athlete. If you're Carl Lewis and you're the fastest, then no matter what you're the fastest.
Chris Rock quotes: Hollywood's just not funny. Hollywood's just not funny.
Chris Rock quotes: You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property. You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
Chris Rock quotes: If you see a black woman with an overweight white man, you know she got effed up credit! If you see a black woman with an overweight white man, you know she got effed up credit!
Chris Rock quotes: The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you. The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you.
Chris Rock quotes: I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it. I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it.
Chris Rock quotes: My movies are okay, but they're not my specials. My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.
Chris Rock quotes: No, I want big ol' titties in my face! No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
Chris Rock quotes: You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems! You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
Chris Rock quotes: I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness. I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.
Chris Rock quotes: We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy. We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.
Chris Rock quotes: I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic. I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.
Chris Rock quotes: When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be. When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
Chris Rock quotes: You just got to be really logical when you're a comedian - to a fault. Like a lawyer's got to believe in the law. You just got to be really logical when you're a comedian - to a fault. Like a lawyer's got to believe in the law.
Chris Rock quotes: I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking. I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.
Chris Rock quotes: A black Christian is like a black person with no memory. A black Christian is like a black person with no memory.
Chris Rock quotes: Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
Chris Rock quotes: I love seeing black people do normal things, being judged as normal people. I love seeing black people do normal things, being judged as normal people.
Chris Rock quotes: Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.
Chris Rock quotes: One of my daughters told me the other day, "Kevin Hart is funnier than you, Daddy." I told her, "Does Kevin Hart make you pancakes?" One of my daughters told me the other day, "Kevin Hart is funnier than you, Daddy." I told her, "Does Kevin Hart make you pancakes?"
Chris Rock quotes: Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous. Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
Chris Rock quotes: I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day. I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
Chris Rock quotes: I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either. I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.
Chris Rock quotes: I love being famous. It's almost like being white. I love being famous. It's almost like being white.
Chris Rock quotes: Men lie the most. Men lie all the time. Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
Chris Rock quotes: Doing something really profound and personal is bigger than a fad. It's not some passing fancy.It's always number one. Doing something really profound and personal is bigger than a fad.
It's not some passing fancy.
It's always number one.
Chris Rock quotes: Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was to be a teenager. Boy, was I wrong. Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was to be a teenager. Boy, was I wrong.
Chris Rock quotes: Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career. Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.
Chris Rock quotes: Kennedy didn't beat Nixon. Satire beat Nixon. Kennedy didn't beat Nixon. Satire beat Nixon.
Chris Rock quotes: The Democrats should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC, and when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama bin Laden. The Democrats should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC, and when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama bin Laden.
Chris Rock quotes: When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show. When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.
Chris Rock quotes: By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer. By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.
Chris Rock quotes: I can't even put gas in my plane! I can't even put gas in my plane!
Chris Rock quotes: When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium. When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
Chris Rock quotes: My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons. My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
Chris Rock quotes: I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!' I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
Chris Rock quotes: Men are as faithful as their options. Men are as faithful as their options.
Chris Rock quotes: I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school. I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school.
Chris Rock quotes: When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time. When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.
Chris Rock quotes: You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time! You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
Chris Rock quotes: If I find a comedy club where no one's camera works, I'll go. If I find a comedy club where no one's camera works, I'll go.
Chris Rock quotes: You'd got a baseball game, or a football game, basketball game, "USA! USA! USA!" Hey, calm down! Got a little German on it, don't you think? You'd got a baseball game, or a football game, basketball game, "USA! USA! USA!" Hey, calm down! Got a little German on it, don't you think?
Chris Rock quotes: Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
Chris Rock quotes: I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
Chris Rock quotes: A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000. A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000.
Chris Rock quotes: White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing. White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing.
Chris Rock quotes: You can only offend me if you mean something to me. You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
Chris Rock quotes: I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks. I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.
Chris Rock quotes: Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof! Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!
Chris Rock quotes: A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material. A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
Chris Rock quotes: I think it's better to have ideas. I think it's better to have ideas.
Chris Rock quotes: Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along? Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?
Chris Rock quotes: I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central? I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
Chris Rock quotes: No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend. No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend.
Chris Rock quotes: Men lie the most,women tell the biggest lies. Men lie the most,

women tell the biggest lies.
Chris Rock quotes: I mean no disrespect to anything I did before. I mean no disrespect to anything I did before.
Chris Rock quotes: See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to. See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.
Chris Rock quotes: The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs. The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
Chris Rock quotes: Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool. Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
Chris Rock quotes: There's bad and then there's EDDY CURRY BAD. There's bad and then there's EDDY CURRY BAD.
Chris Rock quotes: After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college. After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.
Chris Rock quotes: Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everyone else. Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everyone else.
Chris Rock quotes: America is the greatest country in the whole world. America is the greatest country in the whole world.
Chris Rock quotes: People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t. People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t.
Chris Rock quotes: I don't need a president with a bucket list! I don't need a president with a bucket list!

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