Amy Sedaris Quotes

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.

Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.

I have a couple freeloader friends, but it's okay. I know they're gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.

When I'm by myself, I never play music. I have a lot of it, for a girl, but I don't listen to it a lot. I hate picking music out; I'm not good at it.

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.

Gift-wrap the framed artwork on your walls and rehang them - what's nicer than a wall of presents to look at?

I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.

We're all used to seeing pretty people. I want to see real people.

I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I'm gonna play a cop.

I like to make things, but I looked at old craft books on weaving or mosaics or whatever, I'm like, 'I don't really know anything about that stuff.'

You just can't enjoy any of the movie when you're in it.

A lot of crafters, they're shut-ins.

I'm more of a clown, a tragic clown. Yeah. I just like humor to come out of characters.

I love costumes. My dream growing up was always to have my own costume and prop shop.

I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.

I'm not ambitious.

There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.

I'd rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That's perfect for me.

I swear I want to be a food model.

My little brother Paul. He owns his own floor sanding business called Silly P Hardwood Floors and hes really good.

Although it has been said that idle hands are the devil's workshop, when it comes to teenagers, both idle and active hands are the devil's workshop.

It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires.

I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.

I like to be the one in charge of everything.

People always think I'm Amy Poehler, which never bothers me. I mean, Amy Poehler is great.

I like people who would rather something be discovered than shoved in your face.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a hospitable person and have groups of people in your home touching your personables.

I stayed in New York City for the first time, I'd always wanted to do that.

I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.

Usually, the best ideas come from other people's good ideas, which then, after a short gestation period, become your ideas.

I like working with the public, I like working with food, and I like making cash.

I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.

I can't imagine going to an all-girls school. I went to a public school.

I have no desire to carry a movie.

People that know me know that I cook. I cook every night.

My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.

I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.

If I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that's not necessarily psychic. But I always feel like there's something around me protecting me.

I love depressing movies and depressing books.

My characters always like themselves.

You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.

I just like to have the ideas. Other people can help see them through.

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.

More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They don't like to see an ugly lady.

A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.

All my muscles are in my face. I have a very muscular face. I'm good with faces. I always have been.

If I'm creating something for myself, then I want to have fun.

I feel confident writing on my feet with improv, but it's different when you're sitting down and writing it out.

I'm not a first-place person.

I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.

I like working with the public, and I like that it's really hard work.

I did shoplift but I didn't get in trouble for it. I shoplifted a lot when I was little. Candy. I would steal candy.

Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.

Books are challenging and inspirational to me.

I'm always more attracted to the unattractive.

Well I went to New Orleans to cover the jazz festival for Trio, it's this new arts channel, it's really great.

But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.

I always got along with all types of people - popular people as well as drug addicts.

I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they're a little naive - you made it because you needed it.

Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.

I am an aging Girl Scout.

I feel so free and open to ideas, and I get inspired by everything.

Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.

Learn more about yourself! Make a self-esteem collage using pictures of other people you wish you were.

Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it.

My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.

I'm drawn to people who look different. I'm not exploiting. I'm not making fun of them. I'm drawn to them.

It was more of their quirky show. It was more like a cult show. The ratings weren't really that high.

I always find something to keep me busy.

I have a very muscular face.

I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.

But I love how people who are musical, they know how to dress.

You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.

I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.

I like to play unattractive people who think they're pretty. You can do what you want, but I prefer to look interesting.

My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea market.

I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.

I've always been drawn to people with problems. Not just physical problems, but mental problems too. Like depressed people or killers, all that stuff.

If you see a shy person, ask them some questions like, 'Why are you so shy? Tell everyone, we're all listening.

The moment someone says, 'Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song,' your party is over.

Crafting is putting ideas into action and then holding them together with an inexpensive adhesive.

Don't associate me with comedy. And please don't say actress. I would never call myself any of those things. I hate it when people call me that.

I've never done heroin or slept with people for money or anything.

In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.

That's how all theater should be done - you only have one chance to see it and then it's gone. One night only.

I like dramas and stuff. That's what I watch, but it seems weird that I'd be in it.