Tim Dorsey quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Tim Dorsey

Tim Dorsey Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Tim Dorsey on Wise Famous Quotes.

Tim Dorsey quotes: It's been nonstop hallucinations.

It's been nonstop hallucinations.

Tim Dorsey quotes: It's only socialism if the money goes down, not up.

It's only socialism if the money goes down, not up.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Life's too important to learn new clocks, so I unplug them all and get on with the plot.

Life's too important to learn new clocks, so I unplug them all and get on with the plot.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Gasparilla is Tampa's annual heritage festival, and Tampa's heritage appears to be about alcohol.

Gasparilla is Tampa's annual heritage festival, and Tampa's heritage appears to be about alcohol.

Tim Dorsey quotes: I go over my own escape routes all the time. To survive in this state, you have to think like the French Resistance.

I go over my own escape routes all the time. To survive in this state, you have to think like the French Resistance.

Tim Dorsey quotes: I'm getting a diamond-hard boner just thinking about it.

I'm getting a diamond-hard boner just thinking about it.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Serge nodded. 'And I respect your opinion because you smoke marijuana. You're chemically biased against violence and job applications.

Serge nodded. 'And I respect your opinion because you smoke marijuana. You're chemically biased against violence and job applications.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Remember the key to life," Serge shouted over the engine. "Always act like you deserve to be here.

Remember the key to life," Serge shouted over the engine. "Always act like you deserve to be here.

Tim Dorsey quotes: A prosthetic leg with a Willie Nelson bumper sticker washed ashore on the beach, which meant it was Florida.Then it got weird.

A prosthetic leg with a Willie Nelson bumper sticker washed ashore on the beach, which meant it was Florida.
Then it got weird.

Tim Dorsey quotes: At work, he pretended every woman customer was a floozy with a hard-luck story who only needed a good slapping.

At work, he pretended every woman customer was a floozy with a hard-luck story who only needed a good slapping.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Always walk away from a fight. Then ambush.

Always walk away from a fight. Then ambush.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Two preppies from the University of South Florida tried to hit on her with cocaine jokes. Sharon

Two preppies from the University of South Florida tried to hit on her with cocaine jokes. Sharon

Tim Dorsey quotes: Don't you understand? The answer is inside each of you! Don't follow anyone else! Be your own leader! Lead yourselves!

Don't you understand? The answer is inside each of you! Don't follow anyone else! Be your own leader! Lead yourselves!

Tim Dorsey quotes: You've been brainwashed by whitey!

You've been brainwashed by whitey!

Tim Dorsey quotes: Florida is a theme park," said Serge. "And the theme is weirdness.

Florida is a theme park," said Serge. "And the theme is weirdness.

Tim Dorsey quotes: my life's motto: If you're not willing to invent cool-sounding bullshit about yourself, don't expect others to.

my life's motto: If you're not willing to invent cool-sounding bullshit about yourself, don't expect others to.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Murder is such a charged word. You know how some people fixate and won't let things go? They're called cops.

Murder is such a charged word. You know how some people fixate and won't let things go? They're called cops.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Couldn't be scathed. He was the crack in the system

Couldn't be scathed. He was the crack in the system

Tim Dorsey quotes: Don't make fun of people who are different. Unless they have more money and influence. Then you must

Don't make fun of people who are different. Unless they have more money and influence. Then you must

Tim Dorsey quotes: The brain wasn't engineered to deal with that rarefied level of dumbness.

The brain wasn't engineered to deal with that rarefied level of dumbness.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Serge bowed his own head and closed his eyes God, please protect us from your followers. Amen

Serge bowed his own head and closed his eyes God, please protect us from your followers. Amen

Tim Dorsey quotes: fusing themselves into a single new genre about partying all night with gangsta bitches screwing cowboys to the nasty beat that leads to Jesus.

fusing themselves into a single new genre about partying all night with gangsta bitches screwing cowboys to the nasty beat that leads to Jesus.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Impossible' isn't in my vocabulary, said Serge.

Impossible' isn't in my vocabulary, said Serge.

Tim Dorsey quotes: We're dealing with one of the worst kinds of killer." "What kind's that?" asked the lieutenant. "Patient.

We're dealing with one of the worst kinds of killer." "What kind's that?" asked the lieutenant. "Patient.

Tim Dorsey quotes: She knew my buttons and kept pressing them like an epileptic in an arcade. If it's any consolation, I gave her fair warning." "Oh, my God!

She knew my buttons and kept pressing them like an epileptic in an arcade. If it's any consolation, I gave her fair warning." "Oh, my God!

Tim Dorsey quotes: Far too quickly we grow into jaded adults and lose our appreciation for silliness.

Far too quickly we grow into jaded adults and lose our appreciation for silliness.

Tim Dorsey quotes: as any roulette player can tell you, past performance has no bearing on future random outcome. So

as any roulette player can tell you, past performance has no bearing on future random outcome. So

Tim Dorsey quotes: Tampa's Latin quarter, Ybor City. Ybor had been the Cuban-Italian core when Tampa was Cigar City USA.

Tampa's Latin quarter, Ybor City. Ybor had been the Cuban-Italian core when Tampa was Cigar City USA.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Courage is the ability to suspend the imagination.

Courage is the ability to suspend the imagination.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Yes Serge has killed a lot of people , but let's not overlook all of his other accomplishments.

Yes Serge has killed a lot of people , but let's not overlook all of his other accomplishments.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Those are the Big Three: clipboards, orange cones, elf suits. People don't question

Those are the Big Three: clipboards, orange cones, elf suits. People don't question

Tim Dorsey quotes: The common good," said Serge. "It's not hip.

The common good," said Serge. "It's not hip.

Tim Dorsey quotes: You never stop being Catholic. It's like the Mafia or Amway.

You never stop being Catholic. It's like the Mafia or Amway.

Tim Dorsey quotes: The most exciting holidays are the ones where not everybody is going to make it.

The most exciting holidays are the ones where not everybody is going to make it.

Tim Dorsey quotes: What's this whole Parrot Head phenomenon about, anyway?" asked Crease. "It's kind of like AA in reverse.

What's this whole Parrot Head phenomenon about, anyway?" asked Crease. "It's kind of like AA in reverse.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Worry is usually interest paid on a debt that never comes due.

Worry is usually interest paid on a debt that never comes due.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Almighty Father, please stop making jerks. Amen...Break!

Almighty Father, please stop making jerks. Amen...Break!

Tim Dorsey quotes: There, I'm an artist. Thousands of women on ecstasy now want to have three-ways with me.

There, I'm an artist. Thousands of women on ecstasy now want to have three-ways with me.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Boys can't be stewardesses, and girls can't be pilots.

Boys can't be stewardesses, and girls can't be pilots.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Belong to a religion? Doesn't bother me if you do, as long as it's not one that says to stop thinking and be loud about it.

Belong to a religion? Doesn't bother me if you do, as long as it's not one that says to stop thinking and be loud about it.

Tim Dorsey quotes: The whole key to social climbing is not having spinach in your teeth.

The whole key to social climbing is not having spinach in your teeth.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Nothing builds confidence like live ammo.

Nothing builds confidence like live ammo.

Tim Dorsey quotes: South Tampa is the polyp of land that dangles into Tampa Bay like a uvula.

South Tampa is the polyp of land that dangles into Tampa Bay like a uvula.

Tim Dorsey quotes: You open a door and find a midget, and there's no way you can be in a bad mood. It's just not possible.

You open a door and find a midget, and there's no way you can be in a bad mood. It's just not possible.

Tim Dorsey quotes: "[Those] on fixed incomes are the nation's math elite." from pg.88 of Atomic Lobster.

"[Those] on fixed incomes are the nation's math elite." from pg.88 of Atomic Lobster.

Tim Dorsey quotes: This was the beginning of Tampa," said Serge. "They built Fort Brooke here in 1823.

This was the beginning of Tampa," said Serge. "They built Fort Brooke here in 1823.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Look forward to the wonderment of growing up, raising a family and driving by the gas station where the popular kids now work.

Look forward to the wonderment of growing up, raising a family and driving by the gas station where the popular kids now work.

Tim Dorsey quotes: This is trash state U.S.A.

This is trash state U.S.A.

Tim Dorsey quotes: Relieve stress through hysterical screaming.

Relieve stress through hysterical screaming.

Tim Dorsey quotes: I don't suffer from insanity. I can actually say that I enjoy it.

I don't suffer from insanity. I can actually say that I enjoy it.

Tim Dorsey quotes: There's a new dawn in America! It isn't enough just to disagree with your opponent anymore. True patriots hate their fucking guts!

There's a new dawn in America! It isn't enough just to disagree with your opponent anymore. True patriots hate their fucking guts!

Tim Dorsey quotes: That, and the untended mental health problems. We have all these insane armed hobos coming from the Midwest, usually Ohio. Fuck Ohio.

That, and the untended mental health problems. We have all these insane armed hobos coming from the Midwest, usually Ohio. Fuck Ohio.