Ron White Quotes

Top 45 wise famous quotes and sayings by Ron White

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Ron White Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Ron White on Wise Famous Quotes.

Ron White quotes: My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth. My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.
Ron White quotes: It's something that's really fun to do. It's a family business. It's something that's really fun to do. It's a family business.
Ron White quotes: You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out. You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
Ron White quotes: If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade ... If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade ...
Ron White quotes: You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to. You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
Ron White quotes: We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid! We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron White quotes: You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered. You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
Ron White quotes: You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away. You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
Ron White quotes: Diamonds - that'll shut her up ... for a minute! Diamonds - that'll shut her up ... for a minute!
Ron White quotes: I didn't want to be DRUNK. IN. PUBLIC. I wanted to be drunk in a BAR. I was THROWN. into. public. I didn't want to be DRUNK. IN. PUBLIC. I wanted to be drunk in a BAR. I was THROWN. into. public.
Ron White quotes: I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling. I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Ron White quotes: Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks
Ron White quotes: I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans. I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.
Ron White quotes: I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em. I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
Ron White quotes: There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years. There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
Ron White quotes: I don't do any corporate work. I don't do any corporate work.
Ron White quotes: I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you're a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level. I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you're a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
Ron White quotes: If you kill someone in Texas, we'll kill ya back. If you kill someone in Texas, we'll kill ya back.
Ron White quotes: People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic. People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.
Ron White quotes: Why does a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 25 inch color television? Why does a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 25 inch color television?
Ron White quotes: When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party! When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party!
Ron White quotes: Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin. Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White quotes: Apparently I ain't the only cat on the block digs cheetos. Apparently I ain't the only cat on the block digs cheetos.
Ron White quotes: I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade ... and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade ... and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White quotes: I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine. I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
Ron White quotes: I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots. I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
Ron White quotes: The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off. The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White quotes: My goal is just to become a better comedian. My goal is just to become a better comedian.
Ron White quotes: I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part. I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Ron White quotes: I smoke really good cigars, I don't smoke Cuban cigars. I would never do anything as Un-American as smoke a decent cigar. I smoke really good cigars, I don't smoke Cuban cigars. I would never do anything as Un-American as smoke a decent cigar.
Ron White quotes: When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range. When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White quotes: I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game. I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
Ron White quotes: Everybody I know is a joke writer. Everybody I know is a joke writer.
Ron White quotes: I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child. I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
Ron White quotes: I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers. I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
Ron White quotes: They call me Tater Salad They call me Tater Salad
Ron White quotes: In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back. In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.
Ron White quotes: The next time you have a thought ... let it go. The next time you have a thought ... let it go.
Ron White quotes: I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow. I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
Ron White quotes: Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty ... mine's putting in an express lane. Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty ... mine's putting in an express lane.
Ron White quotes: Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ... I did not know that about myself. Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ... I did not know that about myself.
Ron White quotes: When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party. When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Ron White quotes: I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars. I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
Ron White quotes: You can't ride home on a bowl of goat. You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White quotes: I had the right to remain silent ... but I didn't have the ability. I had the right to remain silent ... but I didn't have the ability.

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