Ron Swanson Quotes

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing

I was born ready, I'm Ron F****** Swanson

I'm a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food.

History began July 4, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

I hate metaphors. That's why my favorite book is Moby Dick. No frou-frou symbolism. Just a good, simple tale about a man who hates an animal.

There's only one thing I hate more than lying... Skim milk. which is water that's lying about being milk. Ron Swanson.

Dear Frozen Yogurt,
You are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.