Too Funny Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Too Funny

Too Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Too Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I always feel I do it too slow, but then others do it faster. — Eugene Ormandy

I think actors who take things too far are funny. — Dean Norris

Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It's up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards. — Bill Walton

Step one, accept she was a damn boss. Step two, hide all the knives, guns, and maybe the pillows, too. — J.J. McAvoy

You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny. — Bob Newhart

Rina's always claimed that I expect too little from life," Standard said.
"Then at least you'll never be disappointed. — James Sallis

What is funny about us is precisely that we take ourselves too seriously. — Reinhold Niebuhr

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle." — Frank Carson

Right now my favorite TV show - because it's too close to home - is 'My Name Is Earl.' That show kills me. There's some funny stuff in there. — Rodney Atkins

Sometimes tragic and awful can be funny, too. Sometimes it has to be. — Mia Sheridan

If I could get hold of something nasty and drop it in the coffee urn, I could poison them all."
"Too bad your personality's not water-soluble. — Jesse Hajicek

Don't try and make me feel better, Alex. I hate you."
"I hate you, too. — Simone Elkeles

He thinks things through too much. — Stephenie Meyer

It's a funny thing about suspicions, Mr. Wright. All too often, they're just vain hopes in disguise. — Tessa Dare

I've written for the waste basket so often that we've become friends. He writes too, but it's mostly garbage. — Ryan Lilly

Sylvia grabs my sleeve. "He's a looker."
"I know. The problem is, he knows it, too. — Simone Elkeles

It's funny, there aren't too many musicians that also moonlight as studio engineers. There's a few - the really brilliant ones. — Dave Grohl

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it. — Carroll Bryant

I am not fake, I am just too good to be true (-: — Mahsati Abdul

People worried too much about their children. Suffering when you're young is good for you. It immunized your body and soul ... — Jeannette Walls

My father taught me a good lesson: Don't get to low when things go wrong. And don't get too high when things are good. — Robert Parish

I have no future,' said Hanno. 'I need no prophecy. You talk too much, woman. — William Nicholson

Too bad. Family members hit you by accident. Psychopathic whores tend to come back for more. — Richelle Mead

It's too difficult to start right from scratch and try and be funny out of the blue. — John Cleese

I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!' — Bruce Baum

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!" — Henny Youngman

There's something that's really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think. — Jim Gaffigan

Methinks Sir Robert should have carried his Monarchical Power one step higher and satisfied the World, that Princes might eat their Subjects too. — John Locke

I hope his breath wasn't too bad for 'Bron.' — Paul George

Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject. — Shelby Metcalf

Just relax. Everyone around you is working too hard. — Bauvard

Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11. — Frankie Boyle

May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch — Keisha Keenleyside

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway. — Solange Nicole

It seemed that it was not only live magicians which Mr. Norrell despised. He had taken the measure of all the dead ones too and found them wanting. — Susanna Clarke

I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, 'Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.' — Anna Torv

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing. — Fran Lebowitz

I reach up and pat them both on the head. Poor things. If you had a boy that looked like Logan, you'd be kissing him every chance you had, too. — C.J. Redwine

Life is too short to dance with ugly men — Christina Dodd

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!! — Bill Watterson

Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear. — Suzanne Collins

Funny, though, I don't feel too bad. — Suzanne Collins

I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit! — Sharon Swan

Rory Bremner I have no problem with; he is a satirist, and a very funny one, too. — Richie Benaud

I love you too." Funny how those words got easier to say the more I voiced them. — Laura Thalassa

On why he no longer went to Ruggeri's, a St. Louis restaurant: "Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded." — Yogi Berra

He once again pointed to that creepy theatrical smile. There were way too many teeth there. It made him look positively demented. — Richard E. Gropp

Who is Incredible Hulk ?
..A monster man who took "Go Green" too seriously. — Gaurav Rao

Someday my prince will come," she lamented softly, "too fast. — Melinda DuChamp

Bigamy ? It's having one wife too much ...
... Monogamy ? It's the same. — Oscar Wilde

Funny; people die in clumps too. — Rick Yancey

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much. — Colin Chapman

If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny. — Chris Rock

A fine city with too many socialists and mosquitoes. At least you can spray the mosquitoes. — Ralph Klein

The funny thing is, I don't care too much. You think you love something so badly, but when it's gone you find out you don't care so much. — Damon Galgut

Jeff Ross has a new show on Comedy Central where he roasts the news. It'll be perfect for people who find Jon Stewart too handsome and funny. — Seth Green

Whereas shame let out can lead to freedom, or at least to a funny story, which is a sort of freedom too. — Jon Ronson

People think I am funny all the time. But I am not. I am serious, too. Also, I enjoy serious, dramatic films. — Kapil Sharma

We're too busy busting whorehouses or solving murders. That's what makes the show so funny — Jaime Bergman

Don't be too nice to him," I teased. "He'll never leave. — Juliet Blackwell

You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far. — Libba Bray

The pigs can't stop the fox; I'm too quick,' Takumi said to himself. I can rhyme while I run; I'm that slick. — John Green

If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke. — Richard Russo

She thinks you're stalking me."
"Why the hell would I do that? I see too much of your ugly mug as it is. — Margaret Watson

She said he looked hot in uniform.

He said she looked hot without clothes.

She said he did, too. He agreed. — Angela Verdenius

I find it funny because people complain about Brooklyn becoming too hip, but would they prefer stock brokers or gunfights or something? — Kemp Muhl

My mind wanders a lot, but fortunately it's too weak to go very far. — Bob Thaves

Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap. — Frank Carson

LIKE THE SUICIDAL RACCOON, I, TOO, WILL FUCK UP YOUR ALIGNMENT IF YOU RUN ME OVER. - T-shirt — Darynda Jones

I ought to write funny books. Life is really too horribly funny, but unless one's an outsider looking on, it's all such a bore. — Graham Greene

Isn't it funny how something that will later be a blessing can be a curse if you get it too soon. — T.D. Jakes

Ash is going to kick your ass, Daemon."
Daemon's grin went up a notch. "Nah, she likes my ass too much for that. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

Too many writers get stuck in the trap of writing what they think is funny and not considering who they are writing it for. — Robin Thede

I want to see this video," I say.
"Seriously?" asks Tattoo. "Want popcorn too? — Susan Ee

When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him. — Noel Fielding

I was a theater guy growing up and I wanted to be Al Pacino, and I think I just looked and sounded too funny. — Charlie Day

Sometimes we know people who are
too wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously? — Jim Jefferies

I enlarge the photo again. Nope, too blurry — Marie Lu

Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor! — Christina Scalise

My eyes are different sizes, my nose is too broad at the bridge and squishes up when I laugh, and my lips are sorta funny when I smile. — Terry Farrell

Something feels funny. I must be thinking too hard. — A.A. Milne

Everybody wanted to be depressed. But your depression was supposed to be funny, too, and that was what had proved too much for Dolores. — Mary Gaitskill

Mama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too. — Reba McEntire

There's no such thing as too much power! — Wolfgang Gullich

When something is too beautiful or too terrible or even too funny for words, then it is time for poetry. — Eve Merriam

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. — Woody Allen

I'm too busy thinking what I'm going to say next to remember what I've said, but my staff tells me I'm sometimes funny. Not always on purpose, though. — Jared Polis

I can eat you at breakfast, not because I am a monster; it is only because you are too cute and yummy. — M.F. Moonzajer

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!" — Henny Youngman

I've been fortunate - I haven't had too many auditions. I slept with the right people. — Pamela Anderson

Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart.
Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook. — Mae West

I do find comedy difficult. I don't know why. Maybe I think about it too much. There's a tremendous amount of pressure to be funny. — Michelle Pfeiffer

I squinted at her. "You're an adult." "You're an adult too." "But you're an older adult. You've had more practice." Mom leaned back and laughed. — Ilona Andrews

Don't you think you're quite young?'
'I'm twenty-one,' said Brida. 'If I wanted to start learning ballet, I'd be conseidered too old. — Paulo Coelho

You're far too prickly tempered to be a mistress. You're far better suited as a wife. — Lisa Kleypas

The funny thing about the boy who gave away his loaves and fish is that he, too, ended the day with a full stomach. — Mark Hart

How come I have too many things to do all the time ... ?? — Hiroko Sakai

I hate it in friends when they come too late to help. — Euripides

Don't take life too seriously. — RuPaul