Time Is Funny Quotes
Collection of top 81 famous quotes about Time Is Funny
Time Is Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Time Is Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
It's funny ... musical theater is what paid my rent and kept me going for the longest time.
— Bryan Batt
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.
— Mitch Hedberg
No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
— Rita Rudner
Love is a damagemade to the heart,
violence,
fate thats written,
Changeable by distance,
Breakable by time ... ! — Honey Father
The best time to make friends isbefore you need them. — Ethel Barrymore
Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
— Adam Ferrara
The speed of time is one second per second.
— Steven Wright
You say very funny things. I am sorry I can't say funny things back. This is not a funny time for me.
— Kurt Vonnegut
Heck by the time a man scratches his behind, clears his throat, and tells me how smart he is, we've already wasted fifteen minutes.
— Lyndon B. Johnson
I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.
— Henny Youngman
I feel like any time John Oliver is added to something, the comedy is instantly there. He's so funny.
— Alison Brie
It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny.
— David Cross
A good time for laughing is when you can.
— Jessamyn West
It was 10:30 in the morning and I was already running behind. This is hardly unusual, but it pisses me off every single time.
— Julie Powell
The funny thing about television is that once you start to do it you never get time to watch it.
— Kevin Sorbo
Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
— Paul Dickson
While death is sadly inevitable, our grief will soon pass like a swallowed penny through one's bowels.Painful change just takes time. — Jessica Watts
The funny thing is,' Calvin said, 'I thought I'd been breathing underwater this whole time, but I guess I've been drowning.
— Shaun David Hutchinson
I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin
— Bill Watterson
The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
— Johnny Carson
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs ... one step at a time.
— Joe Girard
Growth is a funny sort of concept. For example, our GNP increases every time we build a prison. Well, okay, it's growth in a sense ...
— Noam Chomsky
I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.
— Will Ferrell
The late start is due to the time.
— David Coleman
If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps?
— Russell Brand
Time is funny lately, nothing to do with clocks.
— Victor Lodato
Kristin Bauer is so funny. Half the time I'm working with her I'm just trying to keep a straight face.
— Rutina Wesley
The funny thing is, Ivy, falling in love with you was as easy as breathing. The best time of my life.
— Kristen Callihan
I think for the foreseeable future, the truth is going to be awful and funny all at the same time.
— John Hodgman
One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute.
— William Feather
Filming is a funny combination of having a good time and not being able to wait until it's over.
— Nicole Holofcener
Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though.
— Robert DeCoteau
They want to talk to you tomorrow.""Tomo ... " Chase choked on the word. "As in the day after today?"
"Is there any other kind? — Adrienne Wilder
I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day.
— Magic Johnson
To be fair he is Lord Byron," Jane said. "I don't know many people who haven't slept with him at one time or another." Jane Fairfax — Michael Thomas Ford
The idea that you can't be attractive and funny at the same time is something that I hate.
— Emma Stone
There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off."What is it with that guy?" Jay asked. "Always in a rush! — Greg Farshtey
There is a time early in life when there seem to be countless reasons for happiness, and then you discover your mom is making them up.
— Robert Breault
Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.
— E.B. White
When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time.
— Cloris Leachman
Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.
— Tracy Morgan
What is it? Tens, I can see the stick up your arse from here. I'm dying remember? Dying people don't have time for silly moods
— Amber Kizer
When you're given the gift of truth, you spend a lot of time trying to tone it down because it is already offensive enough.
— Shannon L. Alder
To me, the movie is more funny if, at the same time, you can think a little bit or dream a little bit.
— Quentin Dupieux
Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.
— Flip Wilson
I should like to knock their silly heads together. What is the sense of laughing all the time? They are not saying anything funny.
— Agatha Christie
When something is too beautiful or too terrible or even too funny for words, then it is time for poetry.
— Eve Merriam
Life is funny...we never know what's in store for us and time brings on what is meant to be.
— April Mae Monterrosa
So this is why I write. Because most times, your life isn't funny the first time through. Most times, you can hardly stand it.
— Chuck Palahniuk
There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'
— William Cosmo Monkhouse
It is difficult to be funny and great at the same time. Aristophanes and Moliere and Mark Twain must sit below Aristotle and Bossuet and Emerson.
— Stephen Leacock
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke.
— John Krasinski
Punctuation was, it is sad to say, invented a very long time ago. Even more frustrating, it has remained with us ever since.
— Anne Elizabeth Moore
The only reason I'd ever get a sex change operation is to see what it's like to be right all the time.
— Brian Wilson
It is possible in this world to be pretty and funny and successful all at the same time.
— Olivia Munn
The only time I drink milk is when I drink coffee. I make love the same way - contributing 2% as I just sort of lay there.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Life is funny, at the same time being totally harsh.
— Isabel Gillies
Eternity is not a super-abundance of time, but timelessness.
— Vijay Balakrishnan
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
— Rodney Dangerfield
Funny + sad is what I'm pitching for, every time.
— Nick Hornby
Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.
— George Bernard Shaw
Well, life is dark, isn't it? Mostly, it's dreadful. At the same time, death is funny too. I mean, look at the fuss we make of it.
— Upamanyu Chatterjee
