Joseph Heller Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Joseph Heller on Wise Famous Quotes.

Joseph Heller quotes: And anything worth dying for And anything worth dying for
Joseph Heller quotes: I write longhand and I type and I rewrite on the typed pages. I write longhand and I type and I rewrite on the typed pages.
Joseph Heller quotes: Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them. Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
Joseph Heller quotes: He was working hard at increasing his life span. He did it by cultivating boredom. He was working hard at increasing his life span. He did it by cultivating boredom.
Joseph Heller quotes: If a man is going to leave one wife to marry another, it's better if he divorces the first before he marries the second. If a man is going to leave one wife to marry another, it's better if he divorces the first before he marries the second.
Joseph Heller quotes: Yossarian left money in the old woman's lap - it was odd how many wrongs leaving money seemed to right - and Yossarian left money in the old woman's lap - it was odd how many wrongs leaving money seemed to right - and
Joseph Heller quotes: It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead. It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.
Joseph Heller quotes: never give testimony against another physician. never give testimony against another physician.
Joseph Heller quotes: I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long. I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Joseph Heller quotes: She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled. She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
Joseph Heller quotes: I wonder what kind of person would come out if I ever did erase all my inhibitions at once, what kind of being is bottled up inside me now. I wonder what kind of person would come out if I ever did erase all my inhibitions at once, what kind of being is bottled up inside me now.
Joseph Heller quotes: You've been unable to adjust to the idea of war.''Yes, sir.''You have a morbid aversion to dying. You've been unable to adjust to the idea of war.'
'Yes, sir.'
'You have a morbid aversion to dying.
Joseph Heller quotes: It's only that I feel an injustice has been committed. Why should I have somebody else's malaria and you have my dose of clap? It's only that I feel an injustice has been committed. Why should I have somebody else's malaria and you have my dose of clap?
Joseph Heller quotes: Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him. Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
Joseph Heller quotes: My fish dream is a sex dream. My fish dream is a sex dream.
Joseph Heller quotes: From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes. From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
Joseph Heller quotes: [A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for. [A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
Joseph Heller quotes: You're inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age? You're inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age?
Joseph Heller quotes: Even when he cheated he couldn't win, because the people he cheated against were always better at cheating too. Even when he cheated he couldn't win, because the people he cheated against were always better at cheating too.
Joseph Heller quotes: [They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything. [They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
Joseph Heller quotes: When I grow up I want to be a little boy. When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Joseph Heller quotes: Bureaucracy, as Hannah Arendt defined it: the rule of nobody. Roll Bureaucracy, as Hannah Arendt defined it: the rule of nobody. Roll
Joseph Heller quotes: There was no way of really knowing anything, he knew, not even that there was no way of really knowing anything. There was no way of really knowing anything, he knew, not even that there was no way of really knowing anything.
Joseph Heller quotes: I used to think it was immoral to be unhappy. I used to think it was immoral to be unhappy.
Joseph Heller quotes: Be thankful you're healthy." "Be bitter you're not going to stay that way." "Be glad you're even alive." "Be furious you're going to die. Be thankful you're healthy." "Be bitter you're not going to stay that way." "Be glad you're even alive." "Be furious you're going to die.
Joseph Heller quotes: Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble. Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
Joseph Heller quotes: There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to. There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
Joseph Heller quotes: Just pass the work I assign along to somebody else and trust to luck. We call that delegation of responsibility. Just pass the work I assign along to somebody else and trust to luck. We call that delegation of responsibility.
Joseph Heller quotes: The syndicate makes the profit. And everybody has a share. The syndicate makes the profit. And everybody has a share.
Joseph Heller quotes: The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on. The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
Joseph Heller quotes: They had not brains enough to be introverted and repressed. Cronies They had not brains enough to be introverted and repressed. Cronies
Joseph Heller quotes: It was love at first sight. It was love at first sight.
Joseph Heller quotes: I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any. I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
Joseph Heller quotes: There is wisdom in madness, and strong probability of truth in all accusations, for people are complete, and everybody is capable of everything. There is wisdom in madness, and strong probability of truth in all accusations, for people are complete, and everybody is capable of everything.
Joseph Heller quotes: There's a catch. Catch-22. There's a catch. Catch-22.
Joseph Heller quotes: The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him. The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.
Joseph Heller quotes: I don't want to make sacrifices. I want to make dough. I don't want to make sacrifices. I want to make dough.
Joseph Heller quotes: That's what Paradise is- never knowing the difference. That's what Paradise is- never knowing the difference.
Joseph Heller quotes: He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt. He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
Joseph Heller quotes: He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it
Joseph Heller quotes: It isn't necessary to call me Father, the chaplain explained. I'm an Anabaptist. It isn't necessary to call me Father, the chaplain explained. I'm an Anabaptist.
Joseph Heller quotes: Oh well," McWatt sang, "what the hell. Oh well," McWatt sang, "what the hell.
Joseph Heller quotes: I can't start writing until I have a closing line. I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
Joseph Heller quotes: where are the snowdens of yesteryear? where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
Joseph Heller quotes: Every writer I know has trouble writing. Every writer I know has trouble writing.
Joseph Heller quotes: He was a militant idealist who crusaded against racial bigotry by growing faint in its presence. He was a militant idealist who crusaded against racial bigotry by growing faint in its presence.
Joseph Heller quotes: Why are they going to disappear him?'I don't know.'It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar. Why are they going to disappear him?'
I don't know.'
It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.
Joseph Heller quotes: All you've got to do is lie there a few minutes and die a little. All you've got to do is lie there a few minutes and die a little.
Joseph Heller quotes: The problem with the loneliness I suffer is that the company of others has never been a cure for it. The problem with the loneliness I suffer is that the company of others has never been a cure for it.
Joseph Heller quotes: I'd rather have peanut brittle crumbs on my face than flies in my eyes, Havermeyer retorted. I'd rather have peanut brittle crumbs on my face than flies in my eyes, Havermeyer retorted.
Joseph Heller quotes: The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon. The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
Joseph Heller quotes: They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady. They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
Joseph Heller quotes: The knife came down, missing him by inches, and he took off. The knife came down, missing him by inches, and he took off.
Joseph Heller quotes: Death was irreversible, he suspected, and he began to think he was going to lose Death was irreversible, he suspected, and he began to think he was going to lose
Joseph Heller quotes: I couldn't see tying myself down with a middle-aged woman with four children, even though the woman was my wife and the children were my own. I couldn't see tying myself down with a middle-aged woman with four children, even though the woman was my wife and the children were my own.
Joseph Heller quotes: I frequently feel I'm being taken advantage of merely because I'm asked to do the work I'm paid to do. I frequently feel I'm being taken advantage of merely because I'm asked to do the work I'm paid to do.
Joseph Heller quotes: Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow. Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
Joseph Heller quotes: Of course you're dying. We're all dying. Where the devil else do you think you're heading? Of course you're dying. We're all dying. Where the devil else do you think you're heading?
Joseph Heller quotes: I'm not running away from my responsibilities. I'm running to them. There's nothing negative about running away to save my life. I'm not running away from my responsibilities. I'm running to them. There's nothing negative about running away to save my life.
Joseph Heller quotes: If character is destiny, the good are damned. If character is destiny, the good are damned.
Joseph Heller quotes: Let someone else get killed! Let someone else get killed!
Joseph Heller quotes: Well, he died. You don't get any older than that. Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
Joseph Heller quotes: What do you do when it rains?"The captain answered frankly. "I get wet. What do you do when it rains?"
The captain answered frankly. "I get wet.
Joseph Heller quotes: We have no ideas, and they're pretty firm. We have no ideas, and they're pretty firm.
Joseph Heller quotes: I see everything twice! I see everything twice!
Joseph Heller quotes: Since he had nothing better to do well in, he did well in school. Since he had nothing better to do well in, he did well in school.
Joseph Heller quotes: Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family. Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
Joseph Heller quotes: Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising. Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
Joseph Heller quotes: I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
Joseph Heller quotes: The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them. The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.
Joseph Heller quotes: She destroyed egos by the score and made men hate themselves in the morning by the way she found them, used them, and tossed them aside. She destroyed egos by the score and made men hate themselves in the morning by the way she found them, used them, and tossed them aside.
Joseph Heller quotes: Rise above principle and do what's right. Rise above principle and do what's right.
Joseph Heller quotes: I had the strongest trade association in the world backing me up. I had the strongest trade association in the world backing me up.
Joseph Heller quotes: It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian saw the chaplain he fell madly in love with him. It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian saw the chaplain he fell madly in love with him.
Joseph Heller quotes: Keep in mind that when we talk of a great painting we are not really talking about anything great. We are talking of only a painting. Keep in mind that when we talk of a great painting we are not really talking about anything great. We are talking of only a painting.
Joseph Heller quotes: All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive. All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
Joseph Heller quotes: Shooting skeet eight hours a month was excellent training for them. It trained them to shoot skeet. Shooting skeet eight hours a month was excellent training for them. It trained them to shoot skeet.
Joseph Heller quotes: They think that they're smart and that the rest of us are dumb. They think that they're smart and that the rest of us are dumb.
Joseph Heller quotes: You've got flies in your eyes. That's why you can't see them. You've got flies in your eyes. That's why you can't see them.
Joseph Heller quotes: In a world in which success was the only virtue, he had resigned himself to failure. In a world in which success was the only virtue, he had resigned himself to failure.
Joseph Heller quotes: You know, that's my trouble," he groaned. "I never listen to anybody. Somebody kept telling me to put my headlights on, but I just wouldn't listen. You know, that's my trouble," he groaned. "I never listen to anybody. Somebody kept telling me to put my headlights on, but I just wouldn't listen.
Joseph Heller quotes: Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one? Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
Joseph Heller quotes: I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service. I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
Joseph Heller quotes: Orr was one of the homeliest freaks Yossarian had ever encountered, and one of the most attractive. Orr was one of the homeliest freaks Yossarian had ever encountered, and one of the most attractive.
Joseph Heller quotes: I yearn for you tragically. I yearn for you tragically.
Joseph Heller quotes: First impressions die slowly, bad impressions take even longer First impressions die slowly, bad impressions take even longer
Joseph Heller quotes: And he sprang out of bed at the crack of noon every day just to make certain that the chores would not be done. He And he sprang out of bed at the crack of noon every day just to make certain that the chores would not be done. He
Joseph Heller quotes: Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours. Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
Joseph Heller quotes: A true prince. One of the finest, least dedicated men in the whole world. A true prince. One of the finest, least dedicated men in the whole world.
Joseph Heller quotes: In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental. In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
Joseph Heller quotes: -You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot! -You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!
Joseph Heller quotes: He began to wonder with genuine concern just what sort of shithead the Pentagon had foisted on him. He began to wonder with genuine concern just what sort of shithead the Pentagon had foisted on him.
Joseph Heller quotes: It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar. What the hell does it mean when they disappear somebody? It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar. What the hell does it mean when they disappear somebody?
Joseph Heller quotes: Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
Joseph Heller quotes: It was miraculous. Each day he faced was another dangerous mission against mortality. And he had been surviving them for twenty-eight years. It was miraculous. Each day he faced was another dangerous mission against mortality. And he had been surviving them for twenty-eight years.
Joseph Heller quotes: Yossarian attended the education sessions because he wanted to find out why so many people were working so hard to kill him. Yossarian attended the education sessions because he wanted to find out why so many people were working so hard to kill him.
Joseph Heller quotes: Because he needed a friend so desperately, he never found one. Because he needed a friend so desperately, he never found one.
Joseph Heller quotes: You pompous, rotund, neighborly, vacuous, complacent ... - Yossarian You pompous, rotund, neighborly, vacuous, complacent ... - Yossarian
Joseph Heller quotes: Moses has the Ten Commandments, it's true, but I've got much better lines - King David Moses has the Ten Commandments, it's true, but I've got much better lines - King David
Joseph Heller quotes: Depreciating motels, junked automobiles, and quick-food joints grow like amber waves of grain. Depreciating motels, junked automobiles, and quick-food joints grow like amber waves of grain.

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