Sarcasm And Humor Quotes
Collection of top 64 famous quotes about Sarcasm And Humor
Sarcasm And Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Sarcasm And Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Hi! I'm Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble!
— Douglas Coupland
Ah, Proph." Tom paused. "You did have a nightmare last night."
"And here I thought maybe I dreamed it," Prophet muttered sarcastically. — S.E. Jakes
"And here I thought maybe I dreamed it," Prophet muttered sarcastically. — S.E. Jakes
Yes, we'll yell, 'Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese'.
— Shannon Hale
Why fall? Let's rise in love together; and while we're at it, let's come up with lamer quotations.
— Ahmed Mostafa
Just for the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic, with a good chance of A. indifference and B. disinterest in what the critics say.
— Panic At The Disco
- Why did blondes vote for Clinton?
- They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious! — Bryanna Reid
- They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious! — Bryanna Reid
I sighed and deleted the message, imagining the dirty clothes multiplying like rabbits, because that's what they do when I'm not around.
— Alex Owens
No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is ... beastly.
— Victoria Scott
Don't read it. Just shred and burn, or your eyes will melt.
— Rachel Caine
There is a fine line between sarcasm and hostility, you seemed to have crossed it. What's up?
— Cassandra Clare
Worms have crawled up your nose and eaten your wits.
— George R R Martin
One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.
— Terry Pratchett
Just because it looks like a leprechaun and talks like a leprechaun, it doesn't mean it can't act like the little fucking demon it is.
— N.L. Gervasio
Forgive me, Your Grace. Are you suggesting a woman is some sort of ... piece of fruit to you? One squeeze, and you know if she's ripe?
— Tessa Dare
You mean you don't want to come in and hold my hand while I piss?
— Nenia Campbell
You could shove it up your ass and pretend you're a corn dog.
COURTESY VIOLATION-RESPONSE MUTED-VIOLATION LOGGED — Ernest Cline
COURTESY VIOLATION-RESPONSE MUTED-VIOLATION LOGGED — Ernest Cline
I guess we'll just sit around here and casually die, then.
— Olivia Harvard
What is your advice to young writers?"
"Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes. — Charles Bukowski
"Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes. — Charles Bukowski
You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other.
— Richelle Mead
The Amulet of Samarkand. It was Simon Lovelace's. Now it is yours. Soon it will be Simon Lovelace's again. Take it and enjoy the consequences.
— Jonathan Stroud
In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is really charming.
— Alanis Morissette
Push my buttons, and I'll push you off a bridge.
— Karen Quan
Hello, Mrs. Tran ... I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars I asked for.
— Nenia Campbell
If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your life at all.
— Joe Hill
That's sarcasm! You can't talk to me like that! You're just a servant!"
"That's right. And so are you. — Terry Pratchett
"That's right. And so are you. — Terry Pratchett
Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all." -Crash
— Hazel Blackthorn
And I have a tiny little moment of anxiety, because I can't remember whether or not we're meant to be boycotting mars bars.
— David Nicholls
High School. Society's bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life.
— Chris Colfer
Sarcasm creates a chasm between yourself and others.
— Gayle Forman
When all else fails ... try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work ... have another.
— Timothy Pina
Sarcasm, as it turned out
even when it was instinctive and quick
cut into the time one had to manufacture one's escape. — Mel Odom
even when it was instinctive and quick
cut into the time one had to manufacture one's escape. — Mel Odom
Why a woman turns fifty and certain people to whom she gave birth start thinking she should be wearing orthopedic shoes is completely beyond me.
— Kelly Hunter
I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.
'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated. — Melina Marchetta
'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated. — Melina Marchetta
Yeah, over my scattered panties, I asked him to dinner and told him to bring a friend. - Laney
— Joann I. Martin Sowles
My condolences, you're still alive.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don't go nutty on me.
— Nicki Elson
I actually wanted to drive a stake through your heart when you first came here, all silent and moody. But you're not so bad, after all.
— Christina Channelle
Civilization is held together by duct tape and spit, and I'm worried about the duct tape.
— Jacqueline Patricks
At least that left hope for him. Except "Beauty and the Geek" wasn't exactly the proper translation of the popular fairy tale.
— Kelly Moran
You're just Little Miss Optimist, aren't you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too?
— Rachel Caine
Some sarcasm is best told simply. Some humor is best told big and some is best told small.
— Kevin Hart
It's kind of depressing, if you think about it. I mean, me being so young, and yet so cynical and suspicious.
— Meg Cabot
If she hasn't learned to appreciate my sterling character and spectacular good looks by this time, it's not likely she will.
— Elizabeth Peters
Knives and candlelight," he said, "how romantic.
— Nenia Campbell
Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.
— Oliver Goldsmith
As a general rule, I preferred not to have my soul reaped.
— Rick Riordan
Kaitlyn froze and then said in a low tone, "That'd better be your gun."
"Why yes, I always pack my gun where it'll blow my balls off."[Landon] — Patrice Michelle
"Why yes, I always pack my gun where it'll blow my balls off."[Landon] — Patrice Michelle
Breslin gives me his wise-teacher smile, which is kind and crinkly and would make me feel warm all over if I was dumber than a bag of hair.
— Tana French
Any boy who'd love a sailboat-patterned, swimsuited sausage who tames rabid foxes would be wonderful. And impossible.
— Fanny Britt
I speak two languages: English and Sarcasm.
— Don Rittner
While you were out JUDGING others, you left your closet door open...and guess what fell out!....Ooops
— Karen Gibbs
The cops got out of the car and came straight towards me. My first thought was, How hypocritical ... They head straight for the kid all in black ...
— Bella Shadow
It's fascinating. You know all these words, and they're all English, but when you string them together into sentences, they just don't make any sense.
— Cassandra Clare
MacMillian groaned again, and sat up. "Clients?"
"Yeah. You know, people who'll give us money in exchange for work. — Laura Oliva
"Yeah. You know, people who'll give us money in exchange for work. — Laura Oliva
What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.
American novels, answered Lord Henry. — Oscar Wilde
American novels, answered Lord Henry. — Oscar Wilde