Parking's Quotes

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving. — Steven Wright

I worked as a parking lot attendant for a while and a delivery boy and two or three other things, but none of them seemed just right. — Robert Preston

Three months earlier ... Empty buses idled in the parking lot at the bottom of Gray Mountain. Almost everyone had — S.M. Reine

I left Mermaid's Bar and Grill about 2:00 am, and fishtailed out of the parking lot. — Jarod Kintz

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. — Bill Vaughan

Outside, the bare trees surrounding the parking lot rattled like a thousand dry bones. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

Don't ask God to cure cancer and world poverty. He's too busy finding you a parking space and fixing the weather for your barbecue. — Richard Dawkins

Parking is a nightmare for me ... I still have sensors on my car that help me park. — Jordana Brewster

We're crazy about this city. Los Angeles? That's just a big parking lot where you buy a hamburger for the trip to San Francisco. — John Lennon

Best advice ever: Drive slow in parking lots. — K. Velk

The way humans hunt for parking and the way animals hunt for food are not as different as you might think. — Tom Vanderbilt

A handicap parking permit is not a reward for a lifetime of poor eating habits ... — T. Rafael Cimino

My heart's bigger than a blue whale's, which needs its own parking spot. — Jandy Nelson

If I had to describe Trish, I would say: "high school parking lot." She smokes. She wears too much makeup. She probably gives great hand jobs. — Blake Nelson

My office window overlooks a parking lot. I've got the best view on the whole submarine. — Jarod Kintz

Validation is for parking. — Austin Kleon

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world
an assigned parking space. — Gene Perret

I bring my bike to work, and I make laps around our parking lot on my lunch break. — Angela Kinsey

I don't bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard ... I sell. — Bob Hope

Your demons may have been ejected from the building, but they're out in the parking lot, doing push-ups.) — Dan Harris

should go see Steve," he whispered in his ear. "He's out in the parking lot crying. — Brent Schlender

Too many children are being parked in substandard day care with workers who make little more than a parking attendant. — Bill Nelson

Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car. — Jon Stewart

Either we're making the world a better place or we're making it a better place for parking lots. — Chaunce Stanton

I would just like to throw out there that we can all stop talking about putting things up my ass. No fly zone. Do not enter. No parking. — Dani Alexander

Positioning is finding the right parking space inside the consumer's mind and going for it before someone else takes it. — Laura Busche

Sarah Palin is now the guy who hangs out in the high school parking lot, showing off his car, five years after he graduated. — Rachel Maddow

As a former gas station attendant, parking lot attendant, medical resident and current Goldman Sachs screwee, I am offended. — Michael Lewis

A stack of banged-up grocery carts humped each other in a metal orgy in the far corner of the new Sedano's parking lot. — Jennine Capo Crucet

Books are my friends, where it's okay to be silent, where you're not a freak if you don't want to get drunk, peel out in the parking lot, tip cows. — Julie Gregory

Here's my using dickwad in a sentence. Greg is such a dickwad, he locks his car in the Pagoda Pizza parking lot. (No. That isn't a real Vocab word.) — A.S. King

When angry, count to Zen. — Leonard Scheff

Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him. — Dov Davidoff

My first joke was about a company called Five Star Parking that was all over Philadelphia: 'Who's reviewing parking lots?' — Adam McKay

You know those balls that they put on car antennas so you can find them in the parking lot? Those should be on every car! — Homer

Because after my marriage fell apart I felt like an empty parking space, and James just pulled into it. — Terry McMillan

If you have a little extra parking, I err on the side of getting rid of it in favor of having some more greenery. — Michael King

They say the first thing to go when you're old is your legs or your eyesight. It isn't true. The first thing to go is parallel parking. — Kurt Vonnegut

The only reason I'm an actor is that a lady pulled out of a parking space in front of a producer's office. — James Garner

It's all about the parking — Jon Boorstin

Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space. — Will Rogers

Parking garages are like that person drinking their soda with a straw: They just sit there and suck. — Gregor Collins

Men are like parking spots: sometimes I drive my car into them — Megan Amram

Beyond the window was the parking lot and beyond that the desert, and beyond that the sky, mostly void, partially stars. Layered — Joseph Fink

I parked somewhere where I would probably get a ticket. I planned to ignore it. Anarchists have a much easier time finding parking spots. — Jim Butcher

I favor parking a few miles from the office and walking to work. You get the benefit of exercise and besides it is easier to get a parking space. — Paul Dudley White

What is the primary purpose of a political leader? To build a majority. If voters care about parking lots, then talk about parking lots. — Newt Gingrich

I hate pulling out ... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing ... — Josh Stern

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. — Bill Vaughan

I'm against government-subsidized parking and government-mandated parking. — Matthew Yglesias

If there isn't a parking space out front or I can't see my car from the window, we're eating somewhere else. — Jay Leno

Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped. — Zach Braff

So many men, so little parking. — Nell Zink

I've always thought that parallel parking was my main talent. — Calvin Trillin

It's better to be in the arena, getting stomped by the bull, than to be up in the stands or out in the parking lot. — Steven Pressfield

The only people I really hate are parking attendants. — Alison Jackson

It was here in Mayfair, that adjectives such as gracious elegant sophisticated and sublime trip off the tongue like coins into a parking meter. — Tyne O'Connell

Restore human legs as a means of travel. Pedestrians rely on food for fuel and need no special parking facilities. — Lewis Mumford

Your friends' parents drive like assholes. Tell them it's an elementary school parking lot, not downtown fucking Manhattan. — Justin Halpern

I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Men are like parking spots. All the good ones are
taken, and those that aren't are inaccessible.
PHOEBE TRAEGER — Jill Shalvis

Say no to parking lots! — John Bytheway

But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking. — Woody Allen

I was almost impeached for getting cars off sidewalks which car owning upper classes had illegally appropriated for parking. — Enrique Penalosa

American history is parking lots. — William Least Heat-Moon

using parking meters as walking sticks. — Tom Waits

Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!" — Henny Youngman

I've always felt we weren't physical enough on the back line. Now there's a no - parking sign in front of our net. — Dean Lombardi

People fight over parking spaces more than they do for each other; then they bemoan the fact they can't find love. — Donna Lynn Hope

The old Piggly Wiggly parking lot rented for the trailers. — Alessandra Torre

CHELL FROM PORTAL would shoot a portal through the window into the parking lot, another one under her feet, and jump through to freedom. Strategic — Gavin Brown

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine. — Tommy Cooper

Getting through the intersection involves tracing paths through the parking system, many braided filaments of direction like the Ho Chi Minh trail. — Neal Stephenson

Until that night, she'd categorized multiple orgasms with unicorns, the Holy Grail, and free parking. — Amanda Usen

When I applied for a handicap parking pass, they wouldn't take maleness as a medical condition. — Katie Graykowski

In 1970, Los Angeles became the first place where the total acreage used for roads and parking exceeded the amount of space given over to habitation. — Victor Papanek

My mind is in the gutter so often, I have an assigned parking spot. — Duncan Spencer

If the law imposed the death penalty for parking tickets, we'd not only have fewer parking tickets, we'd also have much
less driving.
— Lawrence Lessig

A breeze wafted over her face, and she realized she was in the parking lot next to Jean-Luc's BMW. She must have — Kerrelyn Sparks

Valet parking is an essential at any decent club. — Dan Jenkins

Life is a journey, but don't worry, you'll find a parking spot at the end. — Isaac Asimov

They paved paradise and put up a parking lot. — Joni Mitchell

I love punching the ceiling with my fists when I'm lost or I can't find a parking space. — Laura Kightlinger

Much of my youth was spent in the parking lot or inside a Dunkin' Donuts. — Eli Roth

All the stars that never were are parking cars and pumping gas. — Dionne Warwick

Unlicensed hooch from a stranger in a parking lot. Good idea? Yes, of course it is. — Anthony Bourdain

I don't even know how to use a parking meter, let alone a phone box. — Princess Diana

Parking lots and chaos. — Neal Stephenson

Parking complexes are like modern-day dungeons. — Gina Marinello-Sweeney

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall? — Jerry Seinfeld

I'm a Major League 3rd Baseman. If you want to go play in parking lot, I'm suppose to stop the ball. — Brooks Robinson

which is not bad considering we're leaving the same day." Smith charged off in the direction of the station's parking deck without so much — Scott E. Baughman

You could probably go three or four months without the word 'God' coming from my dad's mouth; Mum would pray for a parking space. — Laurence Fox

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot! — Jeff Foxworthy

Does anyone know where the Best Men are? I hope they're not in the parking lot stealing our hubcaps. — Bill O'Reilly

When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place. — P. J. O'Rourke

A parking lot attendant who's a guy makes a lot more money than a child-care attendant who's a woman. — Gloria Steinem

Parking's expensive, so I walk or ride my bike, which is good because my girlfriend's getting her PhD as an environmental engineer. — Chaz Bundick

Parking was well on the way to becoming the British population's greatest spiritual need. — J.G. Ballard

Yeah, well ... No, I mean sex in my truck. Sex with a man I just met. Sex in a freaking parking lot.
He grinned. That's a lot of firsts. — Laura Kaye