John Cleese Quotes

Toffs could get up to speed. But Ben at least knew roughly — John Cleese

English television from the Fifties to the Nineties was the least bad in the world, and now it's just as bad as it is anywhere. — John Cleese

When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision. — John Cleese

Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean uptight incompetent bully comes naturally to me. — John Cleese

When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger. — John Cleese

Only an obsessional procrastinator would cry, 'Let's run for our lives, but not till Wednesday afternoon.' Back — John Cleese

It was an astonishing fantasy but it showed me what even apparently sensible people can believe if they really want to. I — John Cleese

Loving your neighbour as much as yourself is practically bloody impossible? You might as well have a commandment that states,'Thou shalt fly'. — John Cleese

I can do anything I want, I'm eccentric! — John Cleese

I get bored easily. I've been bored most of my life. — John Cleese

Telling people how to be creative is easy - being creative is difficult. — John Cleese

Yes it's her husband. She hasn't got over it. Died thirty years ago. — John Cleese

I don't want to have to start being unselfish again. The great thing about being on your own is you do what you damned well like. — John Cleese

Why write about the past? Well, there's more of it. — John Cleese

Wine is wonderful stuff. But so many people are put off by the snobbery of it. — John Cleese

I wanted to be John Cleese. It took me some time to realise that the job was taken. — Douglas Adams

Creativity is not the possession of some special talent.
It's about the willingness to play. — John Cleese

A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed. — John Cleese

But then acting is all about faking. We're all very good at faking things that we have no competence with. — John Cleese

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change. — John Cleese

Laughter is a force for democracy. — John Cleese

Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one? — John Cleese

Either people walk round dressed as chickens or they listen to Beethoven. — John Cleese

Well, the only way I can get a leading-man role is if I write it. — John Cleese

I think that I feel an indignation when I don't understand something. — John Cleese

He who laughs most, learns best — John Cleese

Terry Gilliam has spoken scathingly about my preference for physical comfort. I have come to the conclusion that this is very much his problem. — John Cleese

Some actors, I think, want to feel that they are as creative as the writer. And the answer is, frankly, they're not. — John Cleese

I've always found life quite difficult to explain to people or to myself. — John Cleese

I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation. — John Cleese

England is a fairly envious little country and it's embodied in the press. They don't like anyone being more distinguished than they are. — John Cleese

His persona seemed very odd to me: it was as though he'd once seen an intellectual, and had spent the rest of his life impersonating him. — John Cleese

I've always called myself a writer/performer, not an actor because I basically write what I perform. — John Cleese

Nothing will stop you being creative more effectively as the fear of making a
mistake. — John Cleese

Who's ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me! — John Cleese

It's too difficult to start right from scratch and try and be funny out of the blue. — John Cleese

I realised that I really disliked him, and I knew exactly why: he didn't know the difference between being solemn and being serious. — John Cleese

What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it. — John Cleese

It's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve. — John Cleese

We don't know where we get our ideas from. What we do know is that we do not get them from our laptops. — John Cleese

If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?' — John Cleese

I was a terrible dancer. I dance like an Englishman. — John Cleese

Sense of humor is so much more subjective than anyone believes. — John Cleese

I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires. — John Cleese

A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people. — John Cleese

I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive. — John Cleese

Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas. — John Cleese

A man will give up almost anything except his suffering. — John Cleese

My hovercraft is full of eels. — John Cleese

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat? — John Cleese

So . . . suddenly there were no tapes of The 1948 Show. It was no more. It was an ex-series. — John Cleese

I can never do better than Fawlty Towers whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game. — John Cleese

In Britain, girls seem to be either bright or attractive. In America, that's not the case. They're both. — John Cleese

The World is insane. With tiny spots of sanity, here and there ... Not the other way around! — John Cleese

I think it takes a long time, as you get older, to realize just how crazy the world is, just how ridiculous it all is. — John Cleese

If you are leaping a ravine, the moment of takeoff is a bad time to be considering alternative strategies. — John Cleese

It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand. ~ Brian Stimpson, Clockwise
— John Cleese

Once we've made a decision, we are efficient only if we go through with it decisively, undistracted by doubts about its correctness. — John Cleese

One minute, I was saying, "Hello, Mr. Bunny!" and smiling at its sweet little face and funny floppy ears. The next, the fucker savaged me. — John Cleese

Whose fault is it, then? Dennis Compton's (Basil Fawlty) — John Cleese

The Americans are just more enthusiastic and more likely to engage in hyperbole. — John Cleese

It was not fair and therefore unworthy of my respect. It was as simple as that. — John Cleese

I have a tendency sometimes to get too logical with what I'm writing, just because I want it to be kind of perfect. — John Cleese

If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play — John Cleese

Yes, I know it's easy to make fun of the organised churches, but has it occurred to anyone to wonder why it's so easy? — John Cleese

I think we're all born with a sense of humor. Creativity is another thing though. — John Cleese

Don't let anyone tell you what you ought to like ... Some wines that some experts think are absolutely exquisite don't appeal to me at all. — John Cleese

John Cleese ... he cannot sing and keeps a locked piano in his room to prove it. — John Cleese

I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force. — John Cleese

Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating. — John Cleese

You have to create boundaries of space and then you have to create boundaries of time. — John Cleese

The Americans all love 'The Holy Grail', and the English all love 'Life Of Brian', and I'm afraid on this one, I side with the English. — John Cleese

Laughter destroys any divisions between people. — John Cleese

Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited. — John Cleese

Cats are very intelligent at all the things that cats need to be intelligent about. — John Cleese

There's something about watching an animal that puts you in contact with where we came from and what we're still a part of. — John Cleese

It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor — John Cleese

Students who laugh more- learn more. Students who laugh more earn more. — John Cleese

While you're being creative, nothing is wrong. There's no such thing as a mistake, and any drivel may lead to the breakthrough. — John Cleese

When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well. — John Cleese

The most creative people have this childlike facility to play. — John Cleese

Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste; it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person. — John Cleese

Filming is like a long air journey: there's so much hanging around and boredom that they keep giving you food. — John Cleese

Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies — John Cleese

John Cleese once told me he'd do anything for money. So I offered him a pound to shut up, and he took it. — Eric Idle

Give your mind as long as possible to come up with something original. — John Cleese

How to defend yourself against a banana — John Cleese

I want to write a book which is the history of comedy. — John Cleese

To be creative you must create a space for yourself where you can be undisturbed ... separate from everyday concerns. — John Cleese

I think the problem with people like this is that they are so stupid that they have no idea how stupid they are. — John Cleese

The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip. — John Cleese

The French have so many civil wars, they can win one now and again. — John Cleese

Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky. — John Cleese

I love having different cultures around, but when the parent culture kind of dissipates, you're left thinking, 'Well, what's going on?' — John Cleese

Tension is wonderful for making people laugh. — John Cleese

Creativity is not a talent; it's a way of operating. — John Cleese

Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted. — John Cleese

What I've always wanted to do is be as funny as possible. — John Cleese

The sad thing about true stupidity is that you can do absolutely nothing about it. — John Cleese

Too many people confuse being serious with being solemn. — John Cleese