I Am Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about I Am Funny
I Am Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational I Am Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
— Adam Carolla
-Am I allowed to call you Grayson, or have you assumed a new identity as well?-He's Frank. — Jen Turano
Don't ever follow me, because I am difficult.
— Eugene Ormandy
I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Love is relentless, and so am I ;)
— Keisha Keenleyside
I am the shortest and least funny person in my family.
— Heather Donahue
Just because I rock doesn't mean I am made of stone.
— Jim Carrey
I am like a dead begonia hanging upside down because like a dead begonia I don't give a f**k.
— David Levithan
I've been fighting to be who I am all my life. What's the point of being who I am, if I can't have the person who was worth all the fighting for?
— Stephanie Lennox
Who are you?' Gaia gasped.The girl froze for a moment.
Looked at her. Smiled and said, 'Who am I? I'm the Breeze, bitch! — Michael Grant
I am not showing off. I am just being expressive!
— Nelson Jack
It's funny because being comedic and happy and lighthearted is who I am as a person, so they're easier emotions for me to connect with.
— Lindsay Lohan
You promise?""I cross the place where my heart used to be and wish to be even more deader than I am now. — Derek Landy
I am not fake, I am just too good to be true (-:
— Mahsati Abdul
I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs.
— Lemony Snicket
I am not schizoid. A little manic-depressive, maybe.""'Know thyself.'"
"We try, sir. — Lois McMaster Bujold
I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money.
— Will Rogers
I am funny. No one else thinks I am funny. But I am funny.
— Lorraine Bracco
You will stay with me. You will sleep here at my side and you will touch me. I am depressed but not when you stroke my chest.
— Laurann Dohner
I'm comfortable with who I am," I say, which is a funny thing to say while shaming my own body in a full-length mirror. "Shut
— Matthew Norman
The funny thing is, I don't actually think of myself as fat at all. I don't think I am. Not really.
— Jo Brand
These errand-boys and furtive and fugitive girls who, ignoring their doom, look in at shop windows? But I am aware of our ephemeral passage.
— Virginia Woolf
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"
— Henny Youngman
Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.
— Jimmy Carr
What am I thankful for? MY POLKA DOTS!!
— Dusty Rhodes
For a being more advanced than I am, he sure has a hard time answering a simple question
— Rick Yancey
I think I am about 5 for 500 when it comes to successful ideas vs flops.
— Jeremy Schoemaker
I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
— Carol Burnett
I became at peace with the darkness or the personality that I have. I am usually pretty funny and happy.
— Matt Berninger
Now I am shut up with his mother on Bramble farm and she is no better for conversation than prune whip
— Sandra Dallas
How dare you. Do you have any idea who I am?" Laurence whined."I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one. — Mark A. Cooper
I am an artist you know ... it is my right to be odd.
— E.A. Bucchianeri
I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.
— Nancy Astor
Hey, if having a beautiful, smart, funny, talented man love me unconditionally for the rest of my life makes me a victim, then that's what I am.
— Victoria Denault
I think therefore I am not sure.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
— Jeremy Clarkson
I am a vicious and unrepentant killer who should be locked up. With him, my idiot boyfriend.
— Kylie Scott
I realize nobody's coming to save me. I must save myself. I must be my own super hero. Although I am open to a sidekick.
— Karen Salmansohn
People think I am funny all the time. But I am not. I am serious, too. Also, I enjoy serious, dramatic films.
— Kapil Sharma
I thank God daily for the good fortune of my birth, for I am certain I would have made a miserable peasant.
— C.S. Forester
To tell you the truth. I am a wild and passionate novelist. I am therefore easily given over to telling wild and passionate lies.
— Val Edward Simone
There's a lot of guy comics who I think are funny, but I generally am more excited about a special or a show where there are females.
— Margaret Cho
I am only able to be honest. And sometimes my view of the world is pretty dark. But still funny.
— Rachel Zucker
What's with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan.""I suspect I am a hooligan. — Simone Elkeles
I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man.
— Santosh Kalwar
It is a fact that even warming moments overwhelm me with despair, and this is why I am I.
— Morrissey
He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Situated in some nebulous distance I do what I do so that the universal balance of which I am a part may remain a balance.
— Antonio Porchia
I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.
— Angelina Jolie
I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators.
— Jim Gaffigan
I feel no grief for being called somethingwhich
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub — Charles Bukowski
Sometimes we know people who aretoo wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan
Who am I? I'm the Breeze, bitch!
— Michael Grant
I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
— Craig Ferguson
Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member may place the punctuation where he pleases.
— Richard Brinsley Sheridan
You're impossible," she told him. "Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm. — David Eddings
For someone so conflicted, who am I to give advice to anybody? It's such a funny, grandiose idea
— Florence Welch
I am about to - or I am going to - die; either expression is correct.
— Dominique Bouhours
I am two lesbians in a man's body.
— Eddie Izzard
You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.
— Donald Rumsfeld
I am not going to say I told you so, but I did.
— Nouriel Roubini
It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless.
— Caprice Bourret
I can eat you at breakfast, not because I am a monster; it is only because you are too cute and yummy.
— M.F. Moonzajer
After two minutes after this time, and I am already there.
— Eugene Ormandy
God' is a funny word, it implies omnipotence and omniscience. Let me assure, I am neither.
— Brian McClellan
What the hell am I doing ... ? Escape holding myself as a hostage ... ? I won't be able to make it like that ...
— Tsugumi Ohba
People don't expect me to be as funny as I am.
— Alicia Keys
I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I'd better go drown myself before I freeze to death.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I love fools' experiments. I am always making them.
— Charles Darwin
I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am.
— Jennifer Aniston
Unless I am very much mistaken ... I AM very much mistaken ... !
— Murray Walker
How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?
— Carroll Bryant
I am quite sane, according to my three distinct personalities and my seven passive ones.
— The Paper Doll
I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.
— Eoin Colfer
