I Am A Joke Quotes

I am still capable of feeling used. I am still capable of having a sexual experience that makes me feel like my entire life has been a mean joke. — Charlotte Shane

I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke. — Billie Joe Armstrong

It ain't no joke when you lose your vinyl. — Afrika Bambaataa

I am a kind of joke, but the question is: which kind? My job is to keep everyone guessing. — Gary Shteyngart

He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish. — Georg Brandes

I have always noticed that deeply and truly religious persons are fond of a joke, and I am suspicious of those who aren't. — Alfred North Whitehead

I've heard every pie joke in the book. I'm still waiting for an original one. — Jason Biggs

I could become like that dyslexic agnostic in the old joke - the one who lies in bed and tries to figure out if his dog exists. — Anne Lamott

This isn't a joke. This is life or fucking death, Lily. I am trying to save you."
"Save me from who?"
"From me, darlin'. — Teresa Mummert

I legit can not parallel park. This is no joke! — Jennifer Damiano

Imagination is no Joke, But a Wish — Jan Jansen

I'm infamous, a joke. It doesn't make me feel good, because I'm a genuine person, but I don't let it get to me, because I am who I am. — William Hung

I am a fan of whatever makes me laugh my ass off. If it happens to be a Jew joke, then it's a Jew joke. — Alex Borstein

Often women are pitted against each other for an easy joke, so they fight or steal each other's boyfriends. That's not really true to life. — Hannah Simone

Playing quarterback ... it's no joke ... The difference here with Johnny Manziel, there's a lot of style and very little substance. — Boomer Esiason

More you know, better advice you give. Less you know, more advice you give. — Gerry Geek

I am a rune a carrot a little joke — Walter Wykes

You said "Hi", I to be polite will say "Bye"! — Deyth Banger

There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it; that's my job. — Anthony Jeselnik

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. — Oliver Herford

In Classical Greek the word pathos was the same for both suffering and experience. Those Greeks knew a good joke when they heard one. — Peter Straub

A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes. — Pawan Mishra

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense. — Alan Moore

If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess. — Honeya

I used to crack A joke when Sourav Ganguly is upset and make him happy , i usually speak in bengali which would make him laugh — Sachin Tendulkar

That was Chas. Furious and black-hearted one minute, ready to crack a wry joke the next. — Colleen Gleason

[he] had become the bloke in the joke: the last man on earth — Zadie Smith

He was not a practical joke nor was he a fool but he was determinedly original and had a vague and modest idea of himself as a legendary figure. — John Cheever

Medicine is a very old joke, but it still goes on. — Andre Maurois

A comic strip has a rhythm and a pattern, and you got to get in and out quick. So you set up a joke, tell the joke, and done. — Stephan Pastis

Directing a movie is serious, it's not a joke. — Fred Durst

Nothing's a joke with me. It just all comes out like one. — Lorrie Moore

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's. — Jonathan Tropper

Completely committed to adapting 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. This is not a joke. Christian Grey and Ana: potentially great cinematic characters. — Bret Easton Ellis

If you can't laugh at your life, then your life is a punchline in a bad joke. — Andrew Barger

The public is gullible ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth. — Bill Maher

I like to joke with my wife that she's the CEO of ... certainly of our household. — Scott Pruett

The joke or the pratfall is easy for me to do. — Sandra Bullock

You make a joke out of everything.
Life's too painful not to. — Richelle Mead

WHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Ah. I see we are now into the second movement of the Nakamura Suite in G-Minor! — Kevin Sylvester

I joke that a person of color would never make a movie like 'Midnight in Paris.' Nostalgia isn't so enticing. — Meshell Ndegeocello

God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage — Mark Twain

This is fun, Matty, isn't it? Cocktail hour is intoxicating." "It is." "I made a little joke there." - Celeste. — Jessica Park

If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good. — Rita Rudner

Life is cruel. Love is a joke. And not even death is final. — Corinne Michaels

I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared. — Mitt Romney

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing. — Ronnie Barker

Call me Meier, Goring said, but he did not pause to explain the joke . — Philip Jose Farmer

Snake pulled out the digital camera and decided to play a joke on Otacon. He snapped a picture of the pinup, muttered, "Good," and closed the door. — Raymond Benson

Luck was a joke. Even good luck was just bad luck with its hair combed. — Stephen King

The practical joke is the psychiatry of baseball. — Ron Luciano

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them. — Werner Heisenberg

Most of my comedy is accidental, I would say. If I don't know what the joke is, I'm going to play it better than if I do. — Aya Cash

Never joke at funerals, or during business transactions. — Herman Melville

Government disinformation is an intelligent joke for smart generation. — Toba Beta

It's easy for someone to joke about scars if they've never been cut. — William Shakespeare

Everyone is a comedy. If people are laughing at you, they just don't quite understand the joke that is themselves. — Matt Haig

Oh you rebel you! — Mallory Hopkins

When he smiles it's as if you'd just told him the first joke on earth. — Mitch Albom

I've made a lot of grown men cry with laughter, because I really am quite the joke. — Peta Wilson

I am a joke told
again. — Charles Bukowski

"What a joke: Tiny living entities crawling on a little planet and are thinking, "I am Great". " — Radhanath Swami

It's almost a joke how good I am at charades. Not to pat my own back, but I'm literally - I'm kind of unstoppable. — Wilson Bethel

I am a commercial artist and author, who loves my family, a good joke, a sunny day, cheeseburgers, hockey and the Beatles. — Stooart

I am aware that by many persons, it is considered in the nature of a joke to to become a candidate and to be elected as a member of the Legislature. — Samuel Ealy Johnson Jr.

Life is a cruel, horrible joke and I am the punch line. — Carrie Fisher

Get in my lap and let me show you."
"Is this a joke?"
"Am I laughing? — Whitney Gracia Williams

Even when I lecture per se, I am a joke comedian, I can do the voices. — Dave Pelzer

As the old joke goes, I have all the sins together. I am a woman, a Socialist, separated and agnostic. — Michelle Bachelet

God made a real good joke
but I am the Best Jokejacket:
Petra Hermans — Petra Hermans

I am a pacifist, but be aware that I also carry a gun. — M.F. Moonzajer

Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself. — Karl Lagerfeld

I rarely joke unless I'm in front of a camera. It's not what I am in real life. It's what I do for a living. — Christopher Guest

I am so happy that I married a comedy writer. He's never not without a joke. No matter where we are. — Christa Miller