Funny Random Quotes

Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny Random

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Funny Random Quotes By Holly Hood: Is that a rule? Do you have a Is that a rule? Do you have a rule that you can't kiss people in the morning? — Holly Hood
Funny Random Quotes By Nicole McKay: Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better. — Nicole McKay
Funny Random Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Tell Savitar I said hi. Tell Savitar I said hi. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Funny Random Quotes By James Dashner: Thomas was sick of being accused of knowing Thomas was sick of being accused of knowing things. — James Dashner
Funny Random Quotes By Simon Dunn: Oh, sod off, I'm calling the Police." Another Oh, sod off, I'm calling the Police." Another series of banging on the door. "Open up, Police." That was quick. — Simon Dunn
Funny Random Quotes By Amy Summers: A brick can be used to represent the A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. — Amy Summers
Funny Random Quotes By Josh Stern: If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator — Josh Stern
Funny Random Quotes By Kirsten Miller: Imogene always sitson the remote. It's probably wedged Imogene always sits
on the remote. It's probably wedged between her butt cheeks."
"Should I go get a crowbar? — Kirsten Miller
Funny Random Quotes By The Walking Dead: Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle. — The Walking Dead
Funny Random Quotes By Erin Dionne: If my hair was on fire and llamas If my hair was on fire and llamas came to put it out, he'd tell me the shot was great. — Erin Dionne
Funny Random Quotes By Darynda Jones: Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists. — Darynda Jones
Funny Random Quotes By Nicole McKay: A brick is ... ... ... Well it's A brick is ... ... ... Well it's a bloody brick what more do you want from me? — Nicole McKay
Funny Random Quotes By Richelle Mead: I'd seen weirder things than a haunted shoe, I'd seen weirder things than a haunted shoe, but not many. — Richelle Mead
Funny Random Quotes By Lauren Conrad: EAT SANDWICH, NOT OWN MOUTH. EAT SANDWICH, NOT OWN MOUTH. — Lauren Conrad
Funny Random Quotes By Michael Hogan: Sometimes we know people who aretoo wonderful for Sometimes we know people who are
too wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan
Funny Random Quotes By Rick Riordan: If you're heading downtown from Centeral Park, my If you're heading downtown from Centeral Park, my advice is to take the subway. Flying pigs are faster but way more dangerous — Rick Riordan
Funny Random Quotes By Rainbow Rowell: Sunshine gives me a headache Sunshine gives me a headache — Rainbow Rowell
Funny Random Quotes By Rachel Caine: At the very leadt, we can grab Monica At the very leadt, we can grab Monica and hustle her skanky ass back to her dad wile you brave, strong menfolk hold off the bad guys. Right? — Rachel Caine
Funny Random Quotes By Mira Monroe: Anytime you can escape to an adventure do Anytime you can escape to an adventure do it, what have you got to lose? Just keep turning the page. — Mira Monroe
Funny Random Quotes By Richelle Mead: What's purple mean?"Adrian put his hand on the What's purple mean?"
Adrian put his hand on the door. "Gotta go, Sage. Dont want to keep Dorothy waiting — Richelle Mead
Funny Random Quotes By Regina Griffin: Ish #1 It's not your mama's macaroni and Ish #1 It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles. — Regina Griffin
Funny Random Quotes By Nicole McKay: I'd much rather a monkey throws a blanket I'd much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick. — Nicole McKay
Funny Random Quotes By Cate Tiernan: I should have known the power-hungry slave drivers I should have known the power-hungry slave drivers at River's Edge would see my five days of freedom only as a challenge to be filled. — Cate Tiernan
Funny Random Quotes By John Marsden: How funny are dogs? How funny are dogs? — John Marsden
Funny Random Quotes By Jenny Han: I pat her on the head. "Oh, naive I pat her on the head. "Oh, naive little Kitten. Dear, foolish girl. This cookie is worth all this and more. Sit or you will not partake. — Jenny Han
Funny Random Quotes By James Dashner: You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world! — James Dashner
Funny Random Quotes By Nicole McKay: A blanket is great for covering things, like A blanket is great for covering things, like the dead guy, I just killed with this brick. — Nicole McKay
Funny Random Quotes By Nicole McKay: The Bible talks about building houses on sand The Bible talks about building houses on sand and rock, but says nothing about a brick house built on a blanket. — Nicole McKay
Funny Random Quotes By Stephen King: Nevertheless, he was already a sick man. He Nevertheless, he was already a sick man. He had gotten more than gas at Bill Hapscomb's Texaco. And he gave Harry Trent more than a speeding summons. — Stephen King
Funny Random Quotes By Darynda Jones: Sometimes that light at the end of the Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. — Darynda Jones
Funny Random Quotes By Thabang Gideon Magaola: I really need 5 hours of Facebook to I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying. — Thabang Gideon Magaola
Funny Random Quotes By Frances Winkler: What can I say? I'm like a playground What can I say? I'm like a playground water fountain, I live to wet people's pants. — Frances Winkler
Funny Random Quotes By Leah Broadby: Memory is like a box of chocolates. They Memory is like a box of chocolates. They disappear quickly. — Leah Broadby
Funny Random Quotes By Elizabeth Gaskell: She never called her son by any name She never called her son by any name but John; 'love' and 'dear', and such like terms, were reserved for Fanny. — Elizabeth Gaskell
Funny Random Quotes By Tanjlisa Marie: World domination is just my side gig. World domination is just my side gig. — Tanjlisa Marie
Funny Random Quotes By Nora Roberts: People in hell want snowcones. People in hell want snowcones. — Nora Roberts
Funny Random Quotes By Gail Carriger: The important question is, what will your wear The important question is, what will your wear for a wedding dress, Alexia? You look horrible in white. — Gail Carriger
Funny Random Quotes By S.C. Stephens: If You're Gonna Ride My Ass, At Least If You're Gonna Ride My Ass, At Least Pull My Hair! — S.C. Stephens
Funny Random Quotes By Rachel Vincent: I didn't know if I could stop her I didn't know if I could stop her with one blow. But I could whack the crap out of her. — Rachel Vincent
Funny Random Quotes By Tranea Prosser: I've been single so long that if I I've been single so long that if I hug a brother, he'll get pregnant! — Tranea Prosser
Funny Random Quotes By Nicole McKay: A blanket could be used as a lovely A blanket could be used as a lovely rug, a rug that just so happens to be covering a large hole, you should really feel this rug! — Nicole McKay
Funny Random Quotes By Stieg Larsson: Martin was dafter than a syphilitic polecat - Martin was dafter than a syphilitic polecat - where do I get these metaphors from? — Stieg Larsson
Funny Random Quotes By Sol Luckman: I knew I was in deep shit. I I knew I was in deep shit. I didn't know how deep - just that I still hadn't touched bottom. — Sol Luckman
Funny Random Quotes By Josh Stern: When you're out in the wilderness and get When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service ... .that's no chocolate on the pillow — Josh Stern
Funny Random Quotes By Angela N. Blount: I didn't actually know what regret tasted like I didn't actually know what regret tasted like - but I imagined if it did have a flavor, it would be lutefisk. — Angela N. Blount
Funny Random Quotes By Diane Messidoro: Lying in bed with Johnny Depp sussing out Lying in bed with Johnny Depp sussing out which males are what kind of pet from their clothes. — Diane Messidoro
Funny Random Quotes By Brandon Sanderson: Reading was hardly as practical a skill as Reading was hardly as practical a skill as being able to handle a dagger or use Allomancy? — Brandon Sanderson
Funny Random Quotes By Stacey Marie Brown: Some days you were the bitch and some Some days you were the bitch and some days you were shit that came out of the bitch's toy poodle. Today was one of those days I was the latter. — Stacey Marie Brown
Funny Random Quotes By Santosh Kalwar: I never thought that someday men will also I never thought that someday men will also use an iPAD. — Santosh Kalwar
Funny Random Quotes By Diane Messidoro: I was not dressed crazily - I was I was not dressed crazily - I was dressed as a horse. And for a very logical and sane reason. — Diane Messidoro
Funny Random Quotes By Brenda Lochinger: Sometimes you are the peanut to my butter Sometimes you are the peanut to my butter and sometimes you are those annoying crumbs left over when someone makes toast. — Brenda Lochinger
Funny Random Quotes By Carla H. Krueger: Life isn't over until you're dead. Another ultra-positive, Life isn't over until you're dead. Another ultra-positive, ultra-motivational tweet to improve your day. You're welcome. — Carla H. Krueger
Funny Random Quotes By Josh Stern: If you know how to open doors with If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months — Josh Stern
Funny Random Quotes By Stephanie Perkins: My smile wavers as I revert to my My smile wavers as I revert to my natural state of being: nervous and weird. — Stephanie Perkins
Funny Random Quotes By Hazel Cartwright: Tip#27Kiss a girl if you're a female,If you're Tip#27

Kiss a girl if you're a female,

If you're a single male kiss a Guy

(Idea)
It's fun to offend society ~ — Hazel Cartwright
Funny Random Quotes By Nenia Campbell: Some people are born to fandom, others have Some people are born to fandom, others have fandom thrust upon them. — Nenia Campbell
Funny Random Quotes By Nenia Campbell: Manners," I say. "It ain't polite to taste Manners," I say. "It ain't polite to taste people. Shit. — Nenia Campbell
Funny Random Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Cause hearts are amazing things. They get lots Cause hearts are amazing things. They get lots bigger to make room for new people to love alongside the old people you love. -Simi — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Funny Random Quotes By Terry Pratchett: (About a cookbook ... )- What about this (About a cookbook ... )
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor ... but they ends up Tarts. — Terry Pratchett
Funny Random Quotes By Sarah Masters: No one broke his finger and got away No one broke his finger and got away with it. — Sarah Masters
Funny Random Quotes By Spuds Crawford: I must be very complex, judging by the I must be very complex, judging by the number of days determined to define me. — Spuds Crawford
Funny Random Quotes By Abigail Owen: I just finished running, and I look and I just finished running, and I look and smell like nothing very pleasant. Why, oh, why did he have to bump into me now? — Abigail Owen
Funny Random Quotes By Joyce Rachelle: They told me I've got writer's cramp. So They told me I've got writer's cramp. So is that better than the block? — Joyce Rachelle
Funny Random Quotes By Hettie Ivers: he hadn't killed or shagged even one single he hadn't killed or shagged even one single person in front of me - which I felt was a rather good indication of his superior character. — Hettie Ivers
Funny Random Quotes By Regina Griffin: Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking? — Regina Griffin
Funny Random Quotes By Keisha Keenleyside: Don't make me throw my boot at you, Don't make me throw my boot at you, because I will, you grumpy high testosterone driven male — Keisha Keenleyside
Funny Random Quotes By Alice Clayton: I will play Truth or Dare, you sucker, I will play Truth or Dare, you sucker, until you can't tell your truth from your dare. -CAROLINE — Alice Clayton
Funny Random Quotes By Richard E. Gropp: He once again pointed to that creepy theatrical He once again pointed to that creepy theatrical smile. There were way too many teeth there. It made him look positively demented. — Richard E. Gropp
Funny Random Quotes By Josh Stern: Don't you wish we all lived in black Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it — Josh Stern
Funny Random Quotes By Fakeer Ishavardas: I nurture very good intentions about you. May I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace. — Fakeer Ishavardas
Funny Random Quotes By Tanya Masse: COFFEE! Because this body is NOT going to COFFEE! Because this body is NOT going to wake itself up! — Tanya Masse
Funny Random Quotes By Don Roff: Kindness, motherfucker, kindness. Kindness, motherfucker, kindness. — Don Roff
Funny Random Quotes By Nicole McKay: A brick could be used for note delivery, A brick could be used for note delivery, from the KKK. — Nicole McKay
Funny Random Quotes By Christy Leigh Stewart: You keep the title of 'president' even if You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists. — Christy Leigh Stewart
Funny Random Quotes By Shelley K. Wall: Sometimes charm can make a person blind to Sometimes charm can make a person blind to truth ... look at Ted Bundy. — Shelley K. Wall
Funny Random Quotes By Wes Adamson: People need to make sure they have a People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required. — Wes Adamson