Funny Non-smoker Quotes
Collection of top 52 famous quotes about Funny Non-smoker
Funny Non-smoker Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Non-smoker quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
We all flinched as Ray flipped the breaker back on, but my laboratory again failed to erupt in flames. It must be a mad scientist record.
— Richard Roberts
I think I got a lot of my 'funny' DNA from my mother, who had a glorious sense of the ridiculous.
— Christopher Buckley
Her hands were large and knuckley and calloused, made to hold a rifle, not a needle.
— Hilary Mantel
One does not simply ring Roland.Oh boy. I supposed I would get a lecture on the dangers of wandering into Mordor next. — Ilona Andrews
I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff.
— Todd Phillips
And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself.
— Murray Walker
The funny part about Islam is; even if you rape a woman, it would be considered as her fault.
— M.F. Moonzajer
If I let you go are you going to hit me again?""What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry
I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.
— Adam Sandler
I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn't notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway.
— Michael Summers
Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds.
— Dave Barry
It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless.
— Caprice Bourret
I got my start in silent radio.
— Bob Monkhouse
Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.
— Caitlin Hale
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
— Robin Williams
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
— Mitch Hedberg
I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world.
— Yakov Smirnoff
You're impossible," she told him. "Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm. — David Eddings
I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just rub it in. "Dude who is attacking me - come a little closer!"
— Mitch Hedberg
Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor!
— Christina Scalise
I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
— Bill Bailey
"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?
— Bill Bailey
Everything bleeds into everything and fiction is just this funny desperate little attempt to staunch the bleeding.
— Meghan Lamb
I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline.
— Michael Summers
How much detention did you get?Two weeks. One per arsehole. — Stephanie Perkins
Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.
— Lois Greiman
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
— David Letterman
As humans we speak one language ...
— Avril Lavigne
You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny. — Brandon Sanderson
Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth.
— Rebecca Brooks
He runs to the sink to spit it out. I grin. There's nothing quite as funny as someone else's misery.
— Holly Black
In the silence, the bear died. It was a cute death, with funny music.
— Orson Scott Card
Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs!
— Mehmet Murat Ildan
Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.""Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
— Jerry Seinfeld
The ballgame is over ... in this inning.
— Jerry Coleman
She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then.
— Tammara Webber
I find it very difficult to be funny, it's much easier to do tragedy than it is to do comedy.
— Eric Drooker
Text messages are dying a funny kind of death.
— Anonymous