Funny New Quotes
Collection of top 97 famous quotes about Funny New
Funny New Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny New quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Nix and Emma: 'Looks like you just found a new talent.''Great. Why couldn't I be good at underwater origami or something? — Kresley Cole
The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to change your name and start a new life in a different city.
— Vance Bourjaily
Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That's the new American dream.
— Natasha Leggero
-Am I allowed to call you Grayson, or have you assumed a new identity as well?-He's Frank. — Jen Turano
I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18 months, how bad could that be?
— Orlando Bloom
Funny how the new things are the old things.
— Rudyard Kipling
Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother.
— Katie McGarry
You know, it's funny how songs continue to grow and evolve and become a new and deeper reflection of your life.
— Gloria Estefan
You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car.
— Harvey Diamond
Do try The House by fresh new author, Susannah Mansfield, it's funny, sad and very different, you'll love the characters and the stories.
— Susannah Mansfield
Well, you know that old saying, "Keep your friends close and make out with your enemies.
— Shae Ross
The new moron in town is Chad Ford of ESPN.
— Mark Cuban
If we get a 3D printer at the office, the first thing I'm printing with it is a new 3D printer just for me!
— The Covert Comic
It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story.
— Agatha Christie
I can't help thinking the failed New York bomber would've done far more damage if he'd simply driven throught Times Square in a Toyota.
— Frankie Boyle
someone like Grace. Someone exactly like Grace, with her Ted Bundy rantsand her calming presence and - hello, irony. — Elle Kennedy
Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.
— Natasha Leggero
All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.
— Carroll Bryant
His eyes are a hazy swirl ofgray, like a thick mass of clouds gathering before an impending storm — Elle Kennedy
Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"
— Andy Borowitz
New white people, you can't scare these white people, I tried.
— Dave Chappelle
Lvov is a city like New York City in America. New York City, in truth, was designed on the model of Lvov.
— Jonathan Safran Foer
It find it funny how people from Boston and New York hate each other because of pro teams.
— Julian Casablancas
I wanted to play with death, like a child with a new toy, I wanted to push all the buttons and see what would happen.
— Holly Hood
I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically.
— George W. Bush
Be nice. Funny. Smart. Generous. Kind. Feed your body with good food. Your soul with good friends. And your mind with new things.
— Jillian Dodd
Funny how it kept hitting me, like each new thing was a surprise. When was I going to stop being surprised?
— Stephenie Meyer
Sometimes it was funny - the passion he put into each new phase.
— Jonathan Kellerman
Regarding creating a new work ... Sometimes you have to beat it like a red-headed step-child.
— John P. Sousa
No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
— Scott Adams
Folks are funny. They can't stick to one way of thinking or doing anything unless they get a new reason for doing it ever so often.
— William Faulkner
A new baby! Why, Scarlett, this is a surprise!" he laughed, leaning down to push the blanket away from Ella Lorena's small ugly face." - Rhett Butler
— Margaret Mitchell
I always thought it was funny that my grandparents had bought a ticket to New York and ended up in Glasgow.
— Peter Capaldi
New Yorkers, I figured, just pretended to be unfriendly.
— Jeannette Walls
And with alphabetical irony Nigeria follows New Zealand
— David Coleman
Well sue me for staring. I'd be willing to scrub away my shame on his washboard abs.
— Tia Giacalone
I broke up with her to avoid getting into a serious relationship with her, and now it
— Elle Kennedy
2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."
— Henny Youngman
Sitting alone in the cafeteria would just scream I'm the new girl. Everyone stare at me while I eat.
— Kristi Cook
Jake Johnson wanted to make clear that he was the great American actor, not just the funny guy on 'New Girl.'
— Colin Trevorrow
A girl can dream can't she? My new life plan is to stumble into every office of a CEO until I find a Christian Grey.
— Sophie Monroe
Only criminals and madmen walk into Central Park after midnight...or, occasionally, an actor. (Dark City Lights)
— Jane Dentinger
If you think it's funny to make fun of the "used car salesman," you better only buy new and never sell your car. Just sayin.
— Richie Norton
Ben Stiller isn't funny - honest. Ben Stiller is very funny, and smart, and cute, too, in a neurotic, New York kind of way.
— Manohla Dargis
Ladies glisten, men perspire, horses sweat.-Early Nun Quote, The Old Ursuline Convent (1727)
New Orleans, LA — Diana Hollingsworth Gessler
The Friday before winter break, my mom packed me an overnight bag and a few deadly weapons and took me to a new boarding school.
— Rick Riordan
"vers libre," (free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture.
— G.K. Chesterton
Have you seen the new Polish jigsaw puzzle? One piece.
— Henny Youngman
I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.
— Doug Stanhope
When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account ...
— Hiroko Sakai
We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.
— Matt Groening
That's Al Qaeda's new plan: to destroy America one period at a time.
— Chelsea Handler
Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit.
— Terry Pratchett
Funny thing about love, ain't it? Sometimes it saves you and sometimes, like right then, even love isn't enough.
— Eden Butler
God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups.
— Oliver Markus
Congratulations to each and every one of you for the concert last night in New York and vice versa.
— Eugene Ormandy
I'm very lighthearted, outgoing, friendly, and funny, so I like to try new things.
— Chandler Parsons
According to a brand new report, alcohol abuse in Ireland is on the rise. Mainly because the guy who didn't drink now does.
— Conan O'Brien
The accents are really really funny. I think I could convince somebody I was from New Zealand.
— Carter Jenkins
I don't get into politics, general or musical, but just call me if you get jury duty. Even in New Jersey I was able to help somebody.
— Eugene Ormandy
And all those things you listed right now, they'rethings Garrett and I do together. Dude, you don't want me. You want me and
Garrett. — Elle Kennedy
I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
— Rodney Dangerfield
Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!
— Henny Youngman
Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking."
— David Letterman
I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.
— Dave Barry
Fuck you!" "Right here?" He crossed his arms. "That definitely wouldn't help your getting over me.
— Stacey Marie Brown
The European drivers have adapted to this circuit extremely quickly, especially Paul Radisich who's a New Zealander.
— Murray Walker
Chizpurfle infestations explain the puzzling failure of many relatively new Muggle electrical artifacts.
— J.K. Rowling
I grew up in New York wanting to be like those funny men in the movies and on the radio.
— George Carlin
Funny, they made this new genre called Speculative Fiction, I thought all fiction had always been speculative.
— Teri Louise Kelly
On Friday night, I was reading my new book, but my brain got tired, so I decided to watch some television instead.
— Stephen Chbosky
My new years resolution? I will be less laz ...
— Jim Gaffigan
You will stay with me. You will sleep here at my side and you will touch me. I am depressed but not when you stroke my chest.
— Laurann Dohner
The point of the list wasn't just to tick items off and forget about them, it was to learn something new.
— Lindsey Kelk
Cause hearts are amazing things. They get lots bigger to make room for new people to love alongside the old people you love. -Simi
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
