Funny Die Quotes: top 66 famous quotes about Funny Die

Funny Die Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Die quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I'm just glad you didn't die while we were gone," Brent said. "He'd be so pissed. And you know, you'd be dead. So that would suck. — Bree Despain

I'd die for your sins, but I'd probably enjoy them first — Josh Stern

He has a 5 year plan ... What is it, don't die? — Adam Sandler

He hated YouTube. He wished it would die of mad cow disease. — Andrea Speed

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die. — Bo Burnham

Rule number four for me as a writer? Plotlines are like sharks: They either keep moving or they die. ~J.R. Ward — J.R. Ward

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. — Antoine De Saint-Exupery

If Damon Wayans is not breaking, it's a miracle. He is so funny that he makes everyone die laughing. — Casey Wilson

I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy
eyes - and moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle's. — William Shakespeare

Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there. — Jack Paar

Poetry is again hip in America as people are beginning to refuse to die of boredom and to choke in the fog of their funny money. — Andrei Codrescu

Live mean or die trying. — Cameron Jace

IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY! — J.K. Rowling

It's funny how your dead when people start listening. — The Band Perry

Don't go there Rule" Lawe warned him softly. " I don't think your horoscope declared today to be a good day to die. — Lora Leigh

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life. — Bauvard

Don't you dare try to die again without asking my permission! — Shungiku Nakamura

Think you can maybe not die for five minutes?"
"I'll try,"I told him seriously.
"You know, if anyone else said that, it would be funny. — Karen Chance

He hated YouTube. He wishes it would die of mad cow disease. — Andrea Speed

Sophie, honey, stop looking at me like that," Garrett said gruffly. "You'll have me convinced I'm going to die."
"You're not? — Maya Banks

If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there'd be headlines of 'Russell How-hard' in the newspapers. — Russell Howard

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. — Lenny Bruce

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. — Sam Levenson

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting. — Adam Carolla

After I die, I shall return to earth as a gatekeeper of a bordello and I won't let any of you enter. — Arturo Toscanini

I will do comedy until the day I die: inappropriate comedy, funny comedy, gender-bending, twisting comedy, whatever comedy is out there. — Sandra Bullock

This is the way I want to die. Torn apart by angry fans who want me to play a different song. — Regina Spektor

People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'. — Frankie Boyle

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? — George Carlin

Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM! — Rick Riordan

When I die, so does hip hop. — Eminem

Quip fast, die young. — Cassandra Clare

Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die. — Jimmy Carr

Always keep a smile. I attribute my long life to that. I believe I will die laughing. That's part of my program. — Jeanne Calment

To have your niece die in your arms is the greatest gift from god. — Celine Dion

Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live. — Mignon McLaughlin

The story of money is very funny. Others burn what we earn. Why not give as we live, so the world will cry when we die. -RVM — R.v.m.

Please. If you were mostly dead in the middle of the road I'd obviously stop. And then I'd watch you die.
Kate to Will — Elizabeth Scott

We have truth in order not to die of art.
— Steve Aylett

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. — George Carlin

To die famous is the goal of the immortal. To die young is the goal of the healthy. To die memorably is the goal of the survivor. — Bauvard

If no meant no then every man would die a virgin. — Daniel Tosh

Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny. — Ilona Andrews

The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die. — Bill Bailey

It was plain to see the Hollywood undertakers take care of everything. If you die you don't have to lift a finger. — Jack Paar

What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. — Bill Bryson

In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die. — Frankie Boyle

A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is, I've died so many times. — Billy Corgan

To die for an idea is to set a rather high price upon conjecture. — Anatole France

Shaga: How would you like to die, little man?
Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full of wine and a woman's mouth around my cock. — George R R Martin

I am about to - or I am going to - die; either expression is correct. — Dominique Bouhours

Sites like Funny or Die and College Humor are great, but I'd say it's appealing to 80% men and 20% women. — Zooey Deschanel

When I die, I want it to say 'Short and Funny' on my tombstone. — John Requa

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death — John Oliver

It's a funny thing about life, I think we're born square and we die round — Daniel Gottlieb

Vamps were homebodies - high-maintenance, party-till-you-die, don't-look-at-me-funny-or-I'll-kill-you homebodies, but homebodies nevertheless. — Kim Harrison

I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room. — Mercedes McCambridge

Funny; people die in clumps too. — Rick Yancey

I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace. — Fakeer Ishavardas

I realize why women die in childbirth - it's preferable. — Sherry Glaser

Oh God, Oh God we're all gonna die doesn't really fit the definition of banter, now does it? — Lilith Saintcrow

When you live in a city, as I do, where violence is really in the streets, and people die every day, there's nothing funny about it. — Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu

I don't want to die ... I don't want to die poor. Two great motivators in the history of human cultures. — Neil DeGrasse Tyson

No one here is allowed to die without my permission. — Doug MacLeod

Old teachers never die, they just grade away. — Henny Youngman

When I die, I want them to bury me facedown and ass up so that the whole world can kiss my ass! — Julie Halpern