Christopher Moore Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Christopher Moore quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There's no such place. — Christopher Moore

It was as if vampirism carried with it a crampless case of rattlesnake PMS. — Christopher Moore

Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother? — Christopher Moore

Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him ... — Christopher Moore

Cofishes-other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word. — Christopher Moore

All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid. — Christopher Moore

A question asked in earnest deserves an earnest answer. — Christopher Moore

I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred. — Christopher Moore

If it be not destiny, then surely there is plausible deniability, which in the parlance of politics is the same thing. — Christopher Moore

When your best friend is the son of God, you get tired of losing every argument. — Christopher Moore

I'm poor and my cat is huge. — Christopher Moore

One time you take a hundred thousand dollars and let a vampire go, the whole world turns on you like you're some kind of bad guy. — Christopher Moore

Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers?
Mrs. Ling: Could be ... You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants. — Christopher Moore

Okey dokey, fire up the blender, let's make a furry-flurry smoothie out of that squirrel! — Christopher Moore

I like my tea like I like my men," Audrey said. Jane looked at her quizzically. "Weak and green," Charlie said. — Christopher Moore

About to be hanged is my status quo, not a condition that requires your repair. — Christopher Moore

If you are going to learn, you need to forget what you know. - Pokey — Christopher Moore

It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs. — Christopher Moore

There was a flash, a ding, and everything got dark and gooey. — Christopher Moore

Pain travels pretty well. — Christopher Moore

Will there be heinous fuckery, Pocket? — Christopher Moore

I've made a dog's breakfast of English history, geography, 'King Lear,' and the English language in general. — Christopher Moore

Marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge. — Christopher Moore

Any freedom that can be given can be taken away. — Christopher Moore

True, I am drunk, and small, and damp, but mistake not my moistness for weakness, although there's an argument to be made for that, as well. — Christopher Moore

People, generally, suck. — Christopher Moore

I wouldn't go to yoga with you because I'm not bendy, not because I'm not spiritual. — Christopher Moore

Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves. — Christopher Moore

She's studying the Existentialists this month. Asked for a study day last week to kill an Arab on the beach. — Christopher Moore

Don't bruise the Foo! — Christopher Moore

At "tooth fairy," Sophie popped her head out the door. "I will smack that bitch up and take her bag of quarters! I will not be fucked with! — Christopher Moore

CHORUS: And so, while the fool slept the sleep of the dead, the beautiful Jewess snipped off the tip of his willy. — Christopher Moore

He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you. — Christopher Moore

Evolution doesn't really have a destination. It's just dicking around with possibilities. — Christopher Moore

Funny how the illusion of safety can make us careless. — Christopher Moore

Blessed are the minimarshmallows," the angel said, swooning a little. — Christopher Moore

An artist can't let madness stop him from making art, he simply has to channel it. — Christopher Moore

I don't give a toss about being remembered after my death. — Christopher Moore

How much humanity has been spoiled for the confusion of movement with progress, my friend? — Christopher Moore

He smiled to himself. Through many centuries and many incarnations, he had learned one universal truth: bitches love them some cushions. — Christopher Moore

Die, thou badger-shagging spunk monkey," said I. — Christopher Moore

We will bring your guilt as well. You wouldn't have escaped it anyway. It is a parent's gift. — Christopher Moore

Children see magic because they look for it. — Christopher Moore

The landings below the bridge were perfect alcoves for conspiracy. — Christopher Moore

An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture. — Christopher Moore

Why is it one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere, but one must busta cap in someone's ass? — Christopher Moore

Torah! Torah! Torah!"
- THE WAR CRY OF THE KAMIKAZE RABBIS. — Christopher Moore

Night crawled across the desert sky like a black cat with phosphorus dandruff. — Christopher Moore

Your puny worm god weapons are useless against my superior Christmas Kung Fu. — Christopher Moore

He had broken one of the cardinal rules - Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself - and he'd been loving life ever since. They — Christopher Moore

He was a LEPER, you idiot! Not a leopard. — Christopher Moore

I fink I gots deaf on me willie. — Christopher Moore

One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses. — Christopher Moore

We'll help," said one boy, his finger far enough up his nose to tickle a memory nesting in his frontal lobe. — Christopher Moore

I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry. — Christopher Moore

Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy — Christopher Moore

It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality. — Christopher Moore

So safe," Coyote said, "that you can lose it in a day? To be safe is to be afraid. Is that what you want: to be afraid? — Christopher Moore

Justice favors the favored sons. — Christopher Moore

I love British cursing - the cadence of it, the joy in the sound of the words, and the vulgarity of it. — Christopher Moore

Medication and forgiveness can make for joyous moments with the dying - it — Christopher Moore

He shuffled along with the hang-dog look of the cosmically fucked. — Christopher Moore

You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate. — Christopher Moore

Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness. — Christopher Moore

I have followed my penis into hell
and returned with the story. — Christopher Moore

No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living, the dead love affordable prefab furniture. — Christopher Moore

Nothing fucks up a religion like an intervention from a real God. — Christopher Moore

You love your wars for the coffers, but for the warrior and the widow, the orphan and the owned, you've not two dry fucks to give. — Christopher Moore

...Heinous Fuckery, most foul! — Christopher Moore

As Richard Pryor was to Eddie Murphy, that's what Kurt Vonnegut was to me. — Christopher Moore

Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not the case. Life is messy — Christopher Moore

People are douche bags. Many people. Not all. But you know, most.
Which is why we destroyed the world. — Christopher Moore

He had a plan - and a bus pass with four more days left on it - so this son of a bitch had picked the wrong guy to fuck with. — Christopher Moore

Is it so hard for you to give up what you never had? — Christopher Moore

You can't just accidentally penis somebody. — Christopher Moore

He didn't understand religion. It was like heroin or golf: He knew a lot of people did it, but he didn't understand why. — Christopher Moore

Sophie marched away in rhythm to her new chant, not in the butt - not in the butt - not in the butt. — Christopher Moore

And he was like "The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk -" -Abby — Christopher Moore

How would I feel, he thought, If I woke up and she was making love to me? Why I believe that I would be pleasantly surprised. — Christopher Moore

The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear. — Christopher Moore

That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information."
"Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system? — Christopher Moore

Life is an irritation. — Christopher Moore

Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate. — Christopher Moore

Mr. Asher, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." "No, ma'am, I'm going to have to insist that you pass away, this instant. You're overdue. — Christopher Moore

Maybe life is just easier if you're a little goofy ... — Christopher Moore

You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's syndrome. — Christopher Moore

He was continually surprised at the speed and accuracy of her creepiness. She was like some creepiness child prodigy — Christopher Moore

Joseph had regained his composure by now. Evidently, once you accept that your wife slept with God, extraordinary events seem sort of commonplace. — Christopher Moore

The two had been together since they were little girls, and so loved and hated each other like sisters. — Christopher Moore

You should never pass up an opportunity to be kind. You should never not thank someone. You should never not say something nice when you think it. — Christopher Moore

The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis. — Christopher Moore

There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon. — Christopher Moore

A little girl's voice said, "I am become Death, destroyer of worlds!" Audrey held the phone out for Charlie. "It's for you. — Christopher Moore

In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime. — Christopher Moore

She hugged me and I could feel the heat rise in my face, either from shame or love, like there was a difference. — Christopher Moore

He was a writer and words were his weapons. — Christopher Moore

I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on. — Christopher Moore

What do you bring to this enterprise to justify a third of the profits?" "Will," said Iago. — Christopher Moore

There's always a bloody ghost. — Christopher Moore

Well, you know, she was winded for a few minutes from kicking your ass, but she is just a little girl." The — Christopher Moore