Caitlin Moran Quotes

In the end, I want to spend my 60s writing bonkbusters like Jilly Cooper. — Caitlin Moran

First world babies are eating this planet like termites. — Caitlin Moran

It's really best not to tell people when you feel bad. Growing up is about keeping secrets, and pretending everything is fine. — Caitlin Moran

Over-eating is the addiction choice of carers, and that's why it's come to be regarded as the lowest-ranking of all the addictions. — Caitlin Moran

Self-harm - the world will come at you with knives anyway. You do not need to beat them to it. — Caitlin Moran

Motherhood is a game you must enter with as much energy, willingness, and happiness as possible. — Caitlin Moran

Most women I know love the idea of fashion, but the practicalities that go with it are just distressing. — Caitlin Moran

Why can't we just loosen our belts, take off our heels, and cheerfully rot, like the boys? — Caitlin Moran

Feminism means something - legislation, cultural change - but 'Girl Power' meant nothing more than being friends with your friends. — Caitlin Moran

I sit at my desk, and I do not know where the words are hidden! — Caitlin Moran

After all, everyone is bisexual after 11pm. — Caitlin Moran

As a former ballerina, I can't put down Maggie Shipstead's new book, Astonish Me. — Caitlin Moran

People with no upper-body strength, who read poetry. These are my people. — Caitlin Moran

And of course, the deepest irony about the young being cynical is that they are the ones that need to move, and dance, and trust the most. — Caitlin Moran

Shit," he says helplessly. "No - piss," I say, like Oscar fucking Wilde. — Caitlin Moran

Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws. — Caitlin Moran

I wish I was Bill Murray. I hope everything I've read about evolution is wrong, and I eventually evolve into him. It's one of only three plans I have. — Caitlin Moran

Our world is afflicted by poverty. Don't spend all this money on clothes! — Caitlin Moran

There is no crueler or more inappropriate present to give a child than estrogen and a big pair of tits. — Caitlin Moran

Diana, Princess of Wales is feminine. Kylie Minogue is feminine. I am . . . femi-none. — Caitlin Moran

March against size-zero models, risible pornography, lap-dancing clubs, and Botox. We don't need to — Caitlin Moran

The more scared children are, the tighter they hug you. — Caitlin Moran

Flyaway, problem hair is the enemy of feminism, and was probably invented by the Man to crush Susan Sontag. — Caitlin Moran

I wish I could give up smoking, but it does taste so delicious. — Caitlin Moran

Benedict Cumberbatch is very beautiful. — Caitlin Moran

I'm going to say 'Amen' now. This is a deal now. We are square on this. You will sort this out. Violet will not rat on us. Amen. — Caitlin Moran

I can't think of anything I hate more than a former punk - they are the most self-righteous people in the world. — Caitlin Moran

You stop talking about things when you've worked them out. You're no longer an observer but a participant. You're too busy for this bullshit. — Caitlin Moran

Life is really the only place you can learn the most important lessons about how to get dressed and to be happy. — Caitlin Moran

Within living memory of this country, men could rape their wives: women were not seen as a separate sexual entity, with the right of refusal. — Caitlin Moran

Man, I was on the shepherd's pie last night like you wouldn't believe. I had, like, MASH in my EYEBROWS by 10pm. I was on a total mince rush! — Caitlin Moran

The 1990s are a bad time to be poor and not-famous. — Caitlin Moran

As with winning the lottery, or becoming famous - there is no manual for becoming a woman, — Caitlin Moran

What a fucking bore people are. — Caitlin Moran

Oh God, are you supposed to collect things? I don't collect things. I like throwing things away. — Caitlin Moran

Men and women alike have convinced themselves of a dragging belief: that somehow women are incomplete without having children. — Caitlin Moran

We're supposed to speak from the heart in what we wear. We have to find capsule wardrobes. — Caitlin Moran

Going blind every time you drain a boiling pan of pasta, because it steams up your glasses real bad. — Caitlin Moran

When a woman says, 'I have nothing to wear!', what she really means is, 'There's nothing here for who I'm supposed to be today. — Caitlin Moran

As I've not been kissed before, I'm not really sure how you activate this function on a man. — Caitlin Moran

Babies being "given" to women as gifts makes the women sound powerless. — Caitlin Moran

I've generally got low levels of embarrassment. — Caitlin Moran

I will never tell anyone when I feel bad again. I will never confide a weakness. It does not work. It makes things worse. — Caitlin Moran

Even with my freewheeling open-mindedness, I couldn't fancy Dennis - a man whose ears looked like two long pieces of bacon. — Caitlin Moran

Galaxies of nothing are going on
in her eyes. — Caitlin Moran

The kind of classic pose of a female model is to look kind of sexy and a bit annoyed. — Caitlin Moran

And the question is always "When are you going to have kids?" Rather than "Do you want to have kids? — Caitlin Moran

You can crush any woman by suggesting that she's fat, not even saying the word 'fat' but just suggesting she's fat. — Caitlin Moran

When Simone de Beauvoir said, "One is not born a woman - one becomes one," she didn't know the half of it. In — Caitlin Moran

I hate that tabloid idea of anybody who is famous having to forfeit their privacy. — Caitlin Moran

So what do you do when you build yourself up - only to realise you built yourself with the wrong things? — Caitlin Moran

Twitter means all my friends are in my computer. All my ideas are in my computer. I can do whatever I want in there; I'm kind of ... bionic. — Caitlin Moran

Evenings never end - they just, without you noticing, turn into tomorrow. — Caitlin Moran

Because I haven't yet learned the simplest and most important thing of all: the world is difficult, and we are all breakable. So just be kind. — Caitlin Moran

Watching 'Girls' has just given me renewed courage. — Caitlin Moran

We need more women who are allowed to prove their worth as people, rather than being assessed merely for their potential to create new people. — Caitlin Moran

My favourite place in the world - the south beach at Aberystwyth -has a sewage outfall pipe on it — Caitlin Moran

It demeans a society to rely on random acts of mercy, Johanna. — Caitlin Moran

A male feminist is one of the most glorious end-products of evolution. — Caitlin Moran

We were all wondering - could you stop the maracas — Caitlin Moran

Poor people can write. It's one of the few things poverty, and lack — Caitlin Moran

Telly never has any smart, amusing intellectuals living on a council estate. — Caitlin Moran

He was bright, bright, bright, like a lantern above a pub door in November- he made you want to come in and never leave. — Caitlin Moran

Life divides into amazing enjoyable times and appalling experiences that will make future amazing anecdotes. — Caitlin Moran

You think it doesn't really matter if you screw up this time around because you can just sort it all out in paradise — Caitlin Moran

I'm neither 'pro-women' nor 'anti-men'. I'm just 'Thumbs up for the six billion — Caitlin Moran

Once you become poor, tired and time-constrained, you become a much better human being. — Caitlin Moran

And I think: I could do this. Fuck writing a book about a fat girl and a dragon. I could be a music journalist, instead. — Caitlin Moran

But when women are asked when they're going to have children, there is, in actually, another darker, more pertinent question lying underneath it. — Caitlin Moran

I'm going to be the Beatles of kissing. — Caitlin Moran

People get really scared when women reclaim words, talk about themselves honestly and also make jokes because it's a really unstoppable combination. — Caitlin Moran

I love puffins. They are small, round gothic birds, and their babies are called pufflings. — Caitlin Moran

The actual handbag is neither here nor there
it's what you keep in it that's the most important thing. — Caitlin Moran

I want a Zero Tolerance policy on All The Patriarchal Bullshit. — Caitlin Moran

The aphorism "If you want something done, ask a busy woman" is in direct acknowledgment of the efficiency boot camp parenthood puts you through. — Caitlin Moran

The word 'spinster' tells you everything you need to know about our attitude of women who choose not to marry. — Caitlin Moran

Anger is just fear, brought to the boil. — Caitlin Moran

Come on, fellow breastkateers - we — Caitlin Moran

I think that instead of feminism being a political thing, it should be an act of creativity. It's more of a rock n' roll thing. — Caitlin Moran

I like a little bit of revolution. I think it's a very good hobby for a young woman. Better than squash. — Caitlin Moran

The problem with battling yourself is that even if you win, you lose. — Caitlin Moran

Strip clubs let everyone down. Men and women approach their very worst here. — Caitlin Moran

When people ask workingwomen, "When are you going to have a baby?" what they're really asking is "When are you going to leave? — Caitlin Moran

Hearing women singing about themselves - rather than men singing about women - makes everything seem wonderfully clear, and possible — Caitlin Moran

Abortions are never seen as a positive thing, as any other operation to remedy a potentially life-ruining condition would. — Caitlin Moran

In the end, I go where I always go when I need information on something baffling, poisonous, or terrifying: the library. — Caitlin Moran

A majority of women's magazines feature women who do amazing things, but then the article focuses on how she ruined it with her shoes. — Caitlin Moran

A reformed bitch is going to cost a fortune in stamps. — Caitlin Moran

Women's bodies do not give up their babies so easily, and so silently, is the message. The heart will always remember. — Caitlin Moran

THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE HAVING SEX WITH BICYCLES. Men don't remotely care if you're wearing sexy underpants or not. — Caitlin Moran

David Cameron is a C-3P0 made of ham. — Caitlin Moran

Let's all go and be feminists in the pub. — Caitlin Moran

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR ELTON JOHN! — Caitlin Moran

If you can find a frock you look nice in and can run up three flights of stairs, you're not fat. — Caitlin Moran

I am not good at small talk. I will hide in a cupboard to avoid chitty-chat. — Caitlin Moran

turn our unsaid things into our life's work. — Caitlin Moran

Amnesty International Survey found that 25 percent of people believe a woman is to blame for being raped if she dresses provocatively. — Caitlin Moran

When you live in a small house with five younger siblings, it's actually far more sensible - and much quicker - to cry alone. — Caitlin Moran

Feminism, as it stands, well ... stands. It has ground to a halt. — Caitlin Moran

Mental health is seen as a massive drag to have to write about - worthy, dull. Something you should 'have' to read / write about. — Caitlin Moran