Best Condom Quotes

I'm the type to have a bullet-proof condom and still gotta pull out. — Big Sean

The guy who doesn't wear a seat belt doesn't wear a condom. You should put one on. — Chris Kasparoza

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure. — Katt Williams

Although every person makes mistakes, not every mistake makes a person. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

If we only said safe sex, use a condom, we won't stop the spread of AIDS in this country. — Thabo Mbeki

I feel like I should have a formation and make the plantoon sergeants demonstrate how to put a condom on the correct way."

~Evan Loehr — Jessica Scott

Tell me you spotted a condom tree over to the right by the stream of lube. — Jane Davitt

My parents were high school sweethearts, which is a term that means "too stupid to use a condom. — John Goode

So, a meaningful relationship. Dude, have fun, but wear a condom, that's all I can say — Kenneth Eade

There is no such thing as safe sex, since no one can create a condom for the soul. — Jayce O'Neal

Culture is a fibreglass condom suit - highly restrictive, uncomfortable and itchy as hell. — Merlyn Gabriel Miller

I think the Americans fished out the same condom but found it had too many holes in it. — Tariq Ali

What are you gonna help us with? That very tiny used condom? — Booth

Do you happen to have another Condom? I think I've discovered the cure for headaches. — Stephen King

I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms. — Aziz Ansari

The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It's the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework. — Jennifer Weiner

If you want to stop, tell me now," he said as he ripped open a condom wrapper.
"Stop and I kill you. — Katie Reus

Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a condom full of walnuts ... — Clive James

The best advice I got from my dad? Wear a condom. — Richard Branson

But since Sloth I've been so monogamous I make the demonstration banana that AIDS educators use to show how to put on a condom, look slutty. — Lauren Beukes

Worry is to human beings ... what a condom is to a man with erectile dysfunction. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

And fuck, I was ruined. Ruined for sex with anyone else, ruined for using a condom with this girl. — Christina Lauren

Sex without a condom was just a physical symbol of an emotional barricade destroyed. — Melanie Harlow

I would think that if you understood what sex education is, you would get down on your knees and worship a condom. — Jane Fonda

I don't have a condom. — Kendall Ryan

I put the penis in happiness. I put it there, and I can pull it out too. (But why would I? That's why I'm wearing a condom.) — Jarod Kintz

Engineer is the one who thinks Dark Fantasy is a condom and not a biscuit — Subhasis Das

An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom; it just doesn't work. — Rita Rudner

Didn't use a condom," he says with genuine regret in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I got so carried away. You're on birth control, right? — Jodi Ellen Malpas

It's like a condom, Min, holes happen, I said, — Mary Calmes

President Bush was in Los Angeles yesterday where he announced his new campaign theme - "Safer, Stronger, and Tested." Isn't that a condom ad? — Jay Leno

A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums. — Bill Engvall