Be A Man Funny Quotes
Collection of top 70 famous quotes about Be A Man Funny
Be A Man Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Be A Man Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"
— Henny Youngman
I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!
— Henny Youngman
Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
— Rita Rudner
Alright, manly man," he says. "Go prove that you're a man.
— Jessica Sorensen
A company is known by the people it keeps.
— Will Rogers
Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore.
— Lois Greiman
![Be A Man Funny Quotes By Lake Bell: I wrote an entire movie [Man up] about](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/be-a-man-funny-quotes-by-lake-bell-327486.jpg "Be A Man Funny Quotes By Lake Bell: I wrote an entire movie [Man up] about")
I wrote an entire movie [Man up] about how important I think voices are, so it was funny.
— Lake Bell
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man".
— Russell Beland
The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases.
— Nia Vardalos
Every man has a sane spot somewhere.
— Robert Louis Stevenson
Four young men in motorcycle jackets... set upon the man in khaki shorts and beat him unconscious with his own sandwich board.
— Stephen King
Dallas popped his jaw. I do not cackle. I bitch like a he-man.
— Gena Showalter
Y are you called the cheese man?
— Barbara Park
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
There have been man-on-the-street interviews for years, but insulting people is not that funny to me.
— Billy Eichner
When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.
— Noel Fielding
The man you're going to marry should be like a brick: strong, sturdy, supportive and almost always hard in your presence.
— Nicole McKay
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
— Corey Ford
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
— Abraham Lincoln
Robert Redford used to be such a handsome man and now look at him: everything has dropped, expanded and turned a funny color.
— George Best
I'm not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.
— Rowan Atkinson
Don't cross me Scooby-Doo. I'm not an old man in a mask waiting to be thwarted by you meddling kids.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
You don't want to have to be the man and the woman in the relationship. I always say you want a man who can fix the toilet.
— Pamela Anderson
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
— Steve Martin
My persona has always been what a man was never supposed to be. Outrageous, gregarious, crazy, silly, funny.
— Richard Simmons
Being unique is what's cool man. Being normal? What's that? That's a setting on a washing machine. Nobody wants to be that.
— Ashley Purdy
If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged
— Terry Pratchett
It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil.
— Martha Plimpton
Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich.
— Habeeb Akande
In a man, I like funny guys. A guy who doesn't have a lot of therapy, who's mature. A man, not a boy.
— Maura Tierney
A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."
— Frank Carson
A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
— Charles Dickens
A man who views the world the same ...
— Muhammad Ali
Chris Rock is a very funny man.
— Willie Geist
To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.
— Milton Jones
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
— Tommy Cooper
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
— G. Gordon Liddy
I could pull off a 'man', but never, quite, a 'dude'.
— Adrian Barnes
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
— Henny Youngman
The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
— Frank Carson
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
— Daniel Tosh
He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
You want me to be a man,older than you, who goes by the name of Roullard.
— Wendelin Van Draanen
This is a young man who is only 25, and you have to say, her has answered every question that has ever been asked.
— David Coleman
This man dresses like an unmade bed.
— Henny Youngman
I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man.
— Santosh Kalwar
You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.
— H. Jackson Brown Jr.
I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."
— Mitch Hedberg
Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Money is what makes a man act funny.
— Eminem
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
— Margaret Smith
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
— Mark Twain
There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'
— William Cosmo Monkhouse
