Norm MacDonald Quotes
Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Norm MacDonald
Norm MacDonald Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Norm MacDonald on Wise Famous Quotes.
I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.
Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.
There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.
When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.
Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.
If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.
The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
Our passions may be compared to certain slaves
the more severity we show them, the better they obey us.
the more severity we show them, the better they obey us.
They're like 'You're an alcoholic.' I go 'No, I'm not.' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?
A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.
Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is every thing desirable, and that bad is even better than none.
We are often less grieved at disappointments than at ourselves for having said much concerning the certainty of our expectations.
I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio.
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
Never raise expectations in others that you cannot realize: promise is less pleasing than disappointment is vexatious.
Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
Love is an artful arrangement of artless pretensions, whereby we labor to appear innocent in what we desire to be most cunning.
They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.
The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.
Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Death is a funny thing. Not funny haha, like a Woody Allen movie, but funny strange, like a Woody Allen marriage.