Neil Leckman Quotes

Top 65 wise famous quotes and sayings by Neil Leckman

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Neil Leckman quotes: Bad questions at employment interviews:Is your drug test graded on a curve? Bad questions at employment interviews:
Is your drug test graded on a curve?
Neil Leckman quotes: I sprayed my dog with off and he still sits in my favorite chair!! I sprayed my dog with off and he still sits in my favorite chair!!
Neil Leckman quotes: When I was little and my mom got mad at me she would always say, "You know you can be replaced".I have often wondered if I was. When I was little and my mom got mad at me she would always say, "You know you can be replaced".
I have often wondered if I was.
Neil Leckman quotes: I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!! I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!!
Neil Leckman quotes: You shouldn't follow your heart unless you can keep a beat. You shouldn't follow your heart unless you can keep a beat.
Neil Leckman quotes: I am open to comments, I accept with with all humility, or at least what I can muster at short notice. I am open to comments, I accept with with all humility, or at least what I can muster at short notice.
Neil Leckman quotes: So you like to stretch the truth?" he asked me. "Stretch, fold, spindle, staple or cut, whatever it takes to get it to fit just right". So you like to stretch the truth?" he asked me. "Stretch, fold, spindle, staple or cut, whatever it takes to get it to fit just right".
Neil Leckman quotes: Why is ground round sold in a square package? Why is ground round sold in a square package?
Neil Leckman quotes: Pharmacy drive-up window:"Could I have your address?""Well, you could, but that would be one hell of a coincidence!! Pharmacy drive-up window:
"Could I have your address?"
"Well, you could, but that would be one hell of a coincidence!!
Neil Leckman quotes: Is it possible to be ticket for going too fast during speed dating? Is it possible to be ticket for going too fast during speed dating?
Neil Leckman quotes: I tok the road less traveled. Now I'm lost. I tok the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Neil Leckman quotes: They say you don't know what you don't know until you know that you don't know it. They say you don't know what you don't know until you know that you don't know it.
Neil Leckman quotes: You know what they say. One man's joke is another man's brother You know what they say. One man's joke is another man's brother
Neil Leckman quotes: Is it worse to double park if you're cross eyed? Is it worse to double park if you're cross eyed?
Neil Leckman quotes: How to contact in case of an emergency?I prefer 911 myself ... How to contact in case of an emergency?
I prefer 911 myself ...
Neil Leckman quotes: Has anyone else noticed that most dreams happen while you're asleep? Makes it a lot harder to remember the details ... Has anyone else noticed that most dreams happen while you're asleep? Makes it a lot harder to remember the details ...
Neil Leckman quotes: I woke today ready to think outside the box. I can't remember where I put it. I woke today ready to think outside the box. I can't remember where I put it.
Neil Leckman quotes: Is it worth the effort to tell an idiot that they are profoundly stupid? Or is it just good fun to see the blank stare? Is it worth the effort to tell an idiot that they are profoundly stupid? Or is it just good fun to see the blank stare?
Neil Leckman quotes: If you die while travelling at the speed of light do you still see the light, or a 'temporarily unavailable' message? If you die while travelling at the speed of light do you still see the light, or a 'temporarily unavailable' message?
Neil Leckman quotes: Sometimes I wake up and wonder if those chalk outlines they have at murder scenes get together for holiday parties ... Sometimes I wake up and wonder if those chalk outlines they have at murder scenes get together for holiday parties ...
Neil Leckman quotes: Quickly look down, now you tell me, when you were little did you ever imagine that you'd be wearing those shoes? Mind blowing isn't it? Quickly look down, now you tell me, when you were little did you ever imagine that you'd be wearing those shoes? Mind blowing isn't it?
Neil Leckman quotes: How many boxs of Fruit Loops do you need to smash to be considered a cereal killer? How many boxs of Fruit Loops do you need to smash to be considered a cereal killer?
Neil Leckman quotes: How about a TV show about vampire plastic surgeons called, "Suck and Tuck"? How about a TV show about vampire plastic surgeons called, "Suck and Tuck"?
Neil Leckman quotes: In the form it asked who to contact in an emergency, so I put 911. In the form it asked who to contact in an emergency, so I put 911.
Neil Leckman quotes: I admit I once threw caution to the wind ... It doesn't fly well!! I admit I once threw caution to the wind ...
It doesn't fly well!!
Neil Leckman quotes: They kept yelling at me to pay attention during school, since education hasn't panned out for me can I get a refund, or at least a rebate? They kept yelling at me to pay attention during school, since education hasn't panned out for me can I get a refund, or at least a rebate?
Neil Leckman quotes: I try not to have personal problems, I do that by telling everyone about them!!! I try not to have personal problems, I do that by telling everyone about them!!!
Neil Leckman quotes: I think that last batch of sea monkeys ate my cat!!! I think that last batch of sea monkeys ate my cat!!!
Neil Leckman quotes: My oldest son used to say his stomach had angries when he felt sick. I always pictured an all night fight club for finger foods!! My oldest son used to say his stomach had angries when he felt sick.
I always pictured an all night fight club for finger foods!!
Neil Leckman quotes: Still waiting for them to make reversible diapers, maybe with teflon coating ... Still waiting for them to make reversible diapers, maybe with teflon coating ...
Neil Leckman quotes: I consider whoever my words land on to be my target, that's why I like flash fiction, it's a lot like using a shotgun. I consider whoever my words land on to be my target, that's why I like flash fiction, it's a lot like using a shotgun.
Neil Leckman quotes: I'm not sure what they mean by mispent youth, I used mine to get a nice BLT a few years ago. I'm not sure what they mean by mispent youth, I used mine to get a nice BLT a few years ago.
Neil Leckman quotes: Don't follow your heart if you can't keep a beat Don't follow your heart if you can't keep a beat
Neil Leckman quotes: I never completely understood the phrase, "I took my medicine religiously", unless of course it was a religion I was unfamiliar with!! I never completely understood the phrase, "I took my medicine religiously", unless of course it was a religion I was unfamiliar with!!
Neil Leckman quotes: We started our journey across the waistlands by folowing the enormous belt!! We started our journey across the waistlands by folowing the enormous belt!!
Neil Leckman quotes: I flunked out of mime school. I could never hear what the instructor was saying!!! I flunked out of mime school. I could never hear what the instructor was saying!!!
Neil Leckman quotes: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value of your bird just went up!! A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value of your bird just went up!!
Neil Leckman quotes: I think what I need to do is stay awake while I'm sleeping so I can see what I'm dreaming better!! I think what I need to do is stay awake while I'm sleeping so I can see what I'm dreaming better!!
Neil Leckman quotes: Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!! Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!
Neil Leckman quotes: If I have a pocket full of rainbows am I an optimist, or a guy with wet pants and really large pockets? If I have a pocket full of rainbows am I an optimist, or a guy with wet pants and really large pockets?
Neil Leckman quotes: I've always been afraid that someone would steal my identity some day and be more successful at being me than I am!! I've always been afraid that someone would steal my identity some day and be more successful at being me than I am!!
Neil Leckman quotes: I am open to all comments, I accept them with humility, or as much as i can muster on short notice. I am open to all comments, I accept them with humility, or as much as i can muster on short notice.
Neil Leckman quotes: They started the meeting out by saying, "Everybody please take your seats"I was halfway back to my cubicle with mine before they stopped me ... They started the meeting out by saying, "Everybody please take your seats"
I was halfway back to my cubicle with mine before they stopped me ...