Laurie Notaro quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Laurie Notaro

Laurie Notaro Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Laurie Notaro on Wise Famous Quotes.

Laurie Notaro quotes: I could have spent my time hugging you or I could have spent my time telling you not to touch hot stoves or take candy from men. Which did you

I could have spent my time hugging you or I could have spent my time telling you not to touch hot stoves or take candy from men. Which did you want?

Laurie Notaro quotes: Sure, I'd like to lose some weight, but a tapeworm is the last way I'd like to do it, except becoming a prisoner of war.

Sure, I'd like to lose some weight, but a tapeworm is the last way I'd like to do it, except becoming a prisoner of war.

Laurie Notaro quotes: I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.

I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.

Laurie Notaro quotes: I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.

I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.

Laurie Notaro quotes: If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally and if something blocks one route, find another. Never give up.

If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally and if something blocks one route, find another. Never give up.

Laurie Notaro quotes: Be honest with yourself; set the alarm for the time the Real You will get up, not the Ambitious You, because the Ambitious You doesn't really exist.

Be honest with yourself; set the alarm for the time the Real You will get up, not the Ambitious You, because the Ambitious You doesn't really exist.

Laurie Notaro quotes: Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.

Laurie Notaro quotes: Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent.

Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent.

Laurie Notaro quotes: There is a (slight) chance that I might be going to hell.

There is a (slight) chance that I might be going to hell.

Laurie Notaro quotes: Whaddaya mean 'old maids,' ha? The term is 'unclaimed treasure,' buddy, 'unclaimed treasure!

Whaddaya mean 'old maids,' ha? The term is 'unclaimed treasure,' buddy, 'unclaimed treasure!

Laurie Notaro quotes: There are things running around out there with uteruses,son. You're going to need this.

There are things running around out there with uteruses,son. You're going to need this.

Laurie Notaro quotes: You are basically a flophouse and a pimp away from Pepcid rehab, you know that? I informed Nana.

You are basically a flophouse and a pimp away from Pepcid rehab, you know that? I informed Nana.

Laurie Notaro quotes: Asininity was puddling all around me in quantities too vast to soak up. - It Looked Different on the Model

Asininity was puddling all around me in quantities too vast to soak up. - It Looked Different on the Model

Laurie Notaro quotes: Everyone knows there's only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that's a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people.

Everyone knows there's only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that's a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people.

Laurie Notaro quotes: I've had to write a column an hour after I've come back from a funeral. A deadline is a deadline, I mean, that was just what my job was.

I've had to write a column an hour after I've come back from a funeral. A deadline is a deadline, I mean, that was just what my job was.

Laurie Notaro quotes: Weddings, I began to understand, were vile, filthy things when they ran amuck.

Weddings, I began to understand, were vile, filthy things when they ran amuck.

Laurie Notaro quotes: I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.

I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.