Jeremy Clarkson Quotes

Top 66 wise famous quotes and sayings by Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson quotes: I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over. I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults! There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning, and you think you are an onion, this is your car, (about the BMW X3). If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning, and you think you are an onion, this is your car, (about the BMW X3).
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Mix an anorexic body with a heart made of pure fire and you are going to go with a savagery that's hard to explain. Mix an anorexic body with a heart made of pure fire and you are going to go with a savagery that's hard to explain.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends' houses so they don't see its backside. If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends' houses so they don't see its backside.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory. This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare. Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable. I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: In Italy, you sometimes get the impression they'd be happier to lose the Ppe than lose their right to drive like maniacs. In Italy, you sometimes get the impression they'd be happier to lose the Ppe than lose their right to drive like maniacs.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he's called the Stig. Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he's called the Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time. I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks. If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster. A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Multi-tasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously. Multi-tasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Hollywood movies are designed for 15-year-old youths from North Dakota who, intellectually speaking, are on equal terms with a British zoo animal. Hollywood movies are designed for 15-year-old youths from North Dakota who, intellectually speaking, are on equal terms with a British zoo animal.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to sneeze. Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to sneeze.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: If we build three million new houses by 2020, where will we grow all the stuff needed to feed the people who live in them? If we build three million new houses by 2020, where will we grow all the stuff needed to feed the people who live in them?
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley. Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would. Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: My epiglottis is full of bees! My epiglottis is full of bees!
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Column writing is like gas - it fills the available space. Column writing is like gas - it fills the available space.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not. I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Sips fuel like a mouse sipping sherry from a hypodermic needle. Sips fuel like a mouse sipping sherry from a hypodermic needle.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Americans are good at herding Bison. The end. Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on. There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: I think people who watch 'Top Gear' think they're the only ones watching it, which I quite like, because it can hopefully last for a long time. I think people who watch 'Top Gear' think they're the only ones watching it, which I quite like, because it can hopefully last for a long time.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: I'd like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God. I'd like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED? Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: I started to realise that being impolite saves an awful lot of time and costs you nothing. I started to realise that being impolite saves an awful lot of time and costs you nothing.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President. Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards. When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place. God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Why is the forecast so bland? Why instead of 'stormy' don't they just say the sea's 'a frothing maelstrom of terror and hopelessness'? Why is the forecast so bland? Why instead of 'stormy' don't they just say the sea's 'a frothing maelstrom of terror and hopelessness'?
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: I'm a horse of a man! I'm a horse of a man!
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius. Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: All this health and safety talk is just killing me. All this health and safety talk is just killing me.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw. The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom It couldn't pull a greased
stick out of a pig's bottom
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: I have had an amazingly fortunate life. I'm a child from Yorkshire, which is sort of like Cleveland without the pretty bits. I have had an amazingly fortunate life. I'm a child from Yorkshire, which is sort of like Cleveland without the pretty bits.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots. This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun. Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: I like to be loved by my children, and I quite like the Guardian hating me. I like to be loved by my children, and I quite like the Guardian hating me.
Jeremy Clarkson quotes: In Conisborough there's no Hoxton Square to bring a bit of light relief. It's just mile after mile of broken windows and the bloody Earth Centre. In Conisborough there's no Hoxton Square to bring a bit of light relief. It's just mile after mile of broken windows and the bloody Earth Centre.