Jackie Mason Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Jackie Mason on Wise Famous Quotes.

I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it!

Predictions are preposterous.

Everybody knows we're entitled to one Jerusalem. History reveals very simply that this is our land from the days of the Bible.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

Anybody who's in favor of gun control is a fucking moron.

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

I didn't think it was fair to pretend to give of myself when I was so selfishly consumed with my own drives.

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.