Hannibal Buress Quotes

I haven't really tried to write a movie. It's tough to get into that mode.

When somebody mangles one of my jokes, that bothers me more than somebody saying that I'm the worst comedian ever.

I need to have something else going on. I'm able to write a lot if I have an episode of 'Friday Night Lights' going on my computer.

Acting is fun; it's easier than writing, and if you get on a [TV] show, it draws people to your stand-up. That's ultimately what I'd like to do.

'SNL' is the first real job I've held for more than a month and a half.

I'm a dumb guy. My point of view is limited.

When people go through something rough in life, they say, 'I'm taking it one day at a time.' Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.

My nephew's always crying. I'm like, 'Dude, why are you crying? Your life is great. All you do is eat apple sauce and take dumps. That's your day.

I could maybe coach kids' basketball. I know enough about basketball where I feel like I could coach 12-year-olds pretty effectively.

With sitcom writing, you're trying to write stories.

I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant ... because I believe in myself.

I play myself on everything I do.

I can work as a writer, but I wanted to do stand-up.

I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they're real.

Don't thank the lord, I gave you that compliment ... Thank me.

I remember 'Def Comedy Jam' being a big deal and kids talking about it in school, but it was never, 'I want to do that.'

Comedy is basically self-deprecation.

I don't want to die before Will Smith 'cause then I miss that awesome 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' marathon.

I'd like to be remembered as good person and as one of the best comedians of my generation.

I like to drive nice cars; since I live in New York, and I don't drive there, it's a novelty to be on the road and drive and listen to my music.

People like to compare something to something that they know. Even with Chris Rock, they say he's like Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy.

I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns.

I like getting 'Times' articles online. But the actual paper just has too many words.

When I'm doing shows I don't need much from a city. All I'm looking for is a good meal and a decent spot to have a couple drinks.

I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, 'Why do you want to work at Starbucks?' Uh, because my life is in shambles.

We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.

If you want to do anything, you got to go do it. Perform a lot, write a lot, make yourself better. Use the Internet, make videos, create content.

My dad named me after Hannibal Barca, the Carthaginian general who attacked Rome. But nobody knows about him.

I really like Halal food.

I like that Barack got that job.

In my hometown of Chicago, I'm kind of a medium deal.

There have been times I've been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, 'Time to go home.'

I've been going up and bombing everywhere. It's great. I love it. It's hilarious.