Tim Allen quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Tim Allen

Tim Allen Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Tim Allen on Wise Famous Quotes.

Tim Allen quotes: Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.

Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.

Tim Allen quotes: The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.

The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.

Tim Allen quotes: Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.

Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.

Tim Allen quotes: My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.

My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.

Tim Allen quotes: Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.

Tim Allen quotes: I have a thing for tools.

I have a thing for tools.

Tim Allen quotes: Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.

Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.

Tim Allen quotes: If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.

If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.

Tim Allen quotes: I'm sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.

I'm sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.

Tim Allen quotes: Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.

Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.

Tim Allen quotes: Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Tim Allen quotes: When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.

When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.

Tim Allen quotes: Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

Tim Allen quotes: Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.

Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.

Tim Allen quotes: Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.

Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.

Tim Allen quotes: For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.

For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.

Tim Allen quotes: Man is the only animal to borrow tools.

Man is the only animal to borrow tools.

Tim Allen quotes: What causes sibling rivalry?" "Having more than one kid.

What causes sibling rivalry?"
"Having more than one kid.

Tim Allen quotes: Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.

Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.

Tim Allen quotes: I love doing logos. I've been a graphic artist all my life.

I love doing logos. I've been a graphic artist all my life.

Tim Allen quotes: You are a sad, strage little man.

You are a sad, strage little man.

Tim Allen quotes: Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

Tim Allen quotes: I do a lot of family shows.

I do a lot of family shows.

Tim Allen quotes: I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?

I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?

Tim Allen quotes: Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.

Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.

Tim Allen quotes: Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Tim Allen quotes: My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.

My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.

Tim Allen quotes: I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics.

I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics.

Tim Allen quotes: All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.

All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.

Tim Allen quotes: My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Tim Allen quotes: Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.

Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.

Tim Allen quotes: I'm actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.

I'm actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.

Tim Allen quotes: I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.

I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.

Tim Allen quotes: Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of Yeah, we might have to reboot.

Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of Yeah, we might have to reboot.

Tim Allen quotes: In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.

Tim Allen quotes: I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)

I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)

Tim Allen quotes: I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.

I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.

Tim Allen quotes: A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Tim Allen quotes: Real men don't use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this together.

Real men don't use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this together.

Tim Allen quotes: If it ain't broke, you can probably still fix it.

If it ain't broke, you can probably still fix it.

Tim Allen quotes: Convictions and beliefs! .. what do they have to do with religion!

Convictions and beliefs! .. what do they have to do with religion!

Tim Allen quotes: There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.

There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.

Tim Allen quotes: As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.

As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.

Tim Allen quotes: Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.

Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.

Tim Allen quotes: While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

Tim Allen quotes: I blend memories. I blend them into one that's funny. I exaggerate to clarify.

I blend memories. I blend them into one that's funny. I exaggerate to clarify.

Tim Allen quotes: I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.

Tim Allen quotes: Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?

Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?

Tim Allen quotes: I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car.

I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car.

Tim Allen quotes: My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.

My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.

Tim Allen quotes: To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.

To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.

Tim Allen quotes: I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.

I'm a very bad student, but a great learner.

Tim Allen quotes: But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.

But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.

Tim Allen quotes: If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.

If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.

Tim Allen quotes: I have an only child. She's so independent and good with adults.

I have an only child. She's so independent and good with adults.

Tim Allen quotes: They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.

Tim Allen quotes: Anyway, they used to beat up on Barry all the time. They called it roughhousing, which is like men calling lying bullshitting.

Anyway, they used to beat up on Barry all the time. They called it roughhousing, which is like men calling lying bullshitting.

Tim Allen quotes: Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.

Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.

Tim Allen quotes: You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress.

You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress.

Tim Allen quotes: I am a thespian trapped in a man's body.

I am a thespian trapped in a man's body.