Garry Shandling quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Garry Shandling

Garry Shandling Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Garry Shandling on Wise Famous Quotes.

Garry Shandling quotes: Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me.

Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me.

Garry Shandling quotes: I had no idea who I was when I started. I was frightened to death and had no natural performing skills.

I had no idea who I was when I started. I was frightened to death and had no natural performing skills.

Garry Shandling quotes: I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.

I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.

Garry Shandling quotes: When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

Garry Shandling quotes: My dog watches me on TV. So, if I may take this opportunity, "No! No! No!"

My dog watches me on TV. So, if I may take this opportunity, "No! No! No!"

Garry Shandling quotes: I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.

I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.

Garry Shandling quotes: Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name?

Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name?

Garry Shandling quotes: I am interested in how human beings react to crisis and conflict.

I am interested in how human beings react to crisis and conflict.

Garry Shandling quotes: I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage.

I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage.

Garry Shandling quotes: The comic strip is what I looked at, and it's another reason I did it. The comic strip, where animals would comment on human behaviour, interested me.

The comic strip is what I looked at, and it's another reason I did it. The comic strip, where animals would comment on human behaviour, interested me.

Garry Shandling quotes: Some people think the world will end in 2012. I think we've got until 2014. I'm an optimist.

Some people think the world will end in 2012. I think we've got until 2014. I'm an optimist.

Garry Shandling quotes: I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity.

I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity.

Garry Shandling quotes: In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out.

In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out.

Garry Shandling quotes: After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

Garry Shandling quotes: Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

Garry Shandling quotes: Everyone at a party is uncomfortable. Knowing that makes me more comfortable.

Everyone at a party is uncomfortable. Knowing that makes me more comfortable.

Garry Shandling quotes: I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.

I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.

Garry Shandling quotes: I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

Garry Shandling quotes: I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.

I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.

Garry Shandling quotes: My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.

My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.

Garry Shandling quotes: I've been on a state of high alert since high school. I didn't need 9/11 to remind me that we live on a ball of flame.

I've been on a state of high alert since high school. I didn't need 9/11 to remind me that we live on a ball of flame.

Garry Shandling quotes: I like to talk on the cell when I do interviews. That way, I double my chances of getting brain cancer: from the cell phone, and from the questions.

I like to talk on the cell when I do interviews. That way, I double my chances of getting brain cancer: from the cell phone, and from the questions.

Garry Shandling quotes: I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

Garry Shandling quotes: I enjoy 'The Apprentice' and the one that's called 'Take My Life' and the other one called 'Stop Hitting Me.'

I enjoy 'The Apprentice' and the one that's called 'Take My Life' and the other one called 'Stop Hitting Me.'

Garry Shandling quotes: They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

Garry Shandling quotes: I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.

Garry Shandling quotes: I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.

I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.

Garry Shandling quotes: Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.

Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.

Garry Shandling quotes: When I don't have a good time, it's usually because there's a stiffness that stifles creativity.

When I don't have a good time, it's usually because there's a stiffness that stifles creativity.

Garry Shandling quotes: I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell

Garry Shandling quotes: First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.

First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.

Garry Shandling quotes: I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

Garry Shandling quotes: I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.

I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.

Garry Shandling quotes: I've always felt that the truth is in the silence.

I've always felt that the truth is in the silence.

Garry Shandling quotes: My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

Garry Shandling quotes: I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.

I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.

Garry Shandling quotes: I'd like to do more acting.

I'd like to do more acting.

Garry Shandling quotes: I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red lights were longer.

I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red lights were longer.

Garry Shandling quotes: Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.

Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.

Garry Shandling quotes: Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.

Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.

Garry Shandling quotes: Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.

Garry Shandling quotes: I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present.

I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present.

Garry Shandling quotes: There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored.

There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored.

Garry Shandling quotes: Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

Garry Shandling quotes: Men who betray women also betray other men. Women shouldn't feel so special.

Men who betray women also betray other men. Women shouldn't feel so special.

Garry Shandling quotes: Dogs are not people. Be leery of any woman who refers to her dogs as her 'kids,' because you'll only end up paying for their schooling.

Dogs are not people. Be leery of any woman who refers to her dogs as her 'kids,' because you'll only end up paying for their schooling.

Garry Shandling quotes: It takes me so long to get tired of a man. It's women that are the problem. Don't get me wrong. I think men have their problems just as much

It takes me so long to get tired of a man. It's women that are the problem. Don't get me wrong. I think men have their problems just as much as women.

Garry Shandling quotes: It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.

It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.