Cynthia Heimel quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Cynthia Heimel

Cynthia Heimel Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Cynthia Heimel on Wise Famous Quotes.

Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.

Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.

When women are excited about a date, they go immediately on a diet, because all women know they are hideously obese.

It is a shoe designer's job to be a year ahead of our collective unconscious.

Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other.

Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing.

Pity the poor infant. Born perfect into the world from imperfect parents.

You can't take away knowledge, and it's dangerous to pretend you never had it.

Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.

A sense of humor isn't everything. It's only 90 percent of everything.

Lots of you know me as a lone, hard-bitten columnist, prone to lurking on deserted rocky promontories while searching for my muse.

There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.

Women are not ladies. The term connotates females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

Not one woman over seventeen has any faith in her skin tone, and no woman over thirty can ever regard her upper arms with equanimity.

A person who uses party as a verb is a person who will walk into a shop and walk out wearing a rubber jumpsuit.

Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.

[On her dogs:] I have four now. My friends tell me if I get any more they'll have to hold an intervention.

Possessions, for the terminally frightened, bring peace of mind.

A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.

Here is Heimel's Law: Anything you fantasize about won't come true. So just cut it out.

Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.

You never get anywhere until you figure out the difference between passion and compassion.

We know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.

The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace.

Enough about you let's hear about me.

Men, being conditioned badly, are always feeling nooses closing around their necks, even dumpy boors no girl would take on a bet.

Sex is not some sort of pristine, reverent ritual. You want reverent and pristine, go to church.

It seems to me, correct me if I'm wrong, that there are an awful lot of people in Manhattan. And it's getting worse.

Dogs are us, only innocent.