Christopher Moore Quotes
Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Christopher Moore on Wise Famous Quotes.
Rivera rubbed his temples. "Satan told you to do it?" he said wearily.
"No."
"Elvis?"
"I told you, it's supernatural.
"No."
"Elvis?"
"I told you, it's supernatural.
One time you take a hundred thousand dollars and let a vampire go, the whole world turns on you like you're some kind of bad guy.
Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.
If manta rays are going to be harmless, they should look more harmless, Pardee thought. Fuckers look like aquatic Draculas.
not the end of the world, just darkness over everything," Charlie cheerfully said. "it gets dark - turn on a light.
Oh yes, I kept all of the abominations at bay while Kaliel played with his favorite sheep behind the bushes.
She's so obnoxious. Like a whole Saturday night drunk tank full of obnoxious packed into one little body. Detective Cavuto
The Beta Male is seldom the strongest or the fastest, but because he can anticipate danger, he far outnumbers his Alpha Male competition. The
It was a machine-gun orgasm, dark chocolate, spring water in the desert, a hallelujah chorus and the cavelry coming to the rescue all at once.
(For what is curiosity if not intellectual temptation? And what progress is there without curiosity?)
Charlie Asher: I accidently shagged a monk last night.
Minty Fresh: Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.
Minty Fresh: Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.
but all things considered, he could go a very long time not being run over by a Volvo again and feel just dandy about it. He
I try to stick to one, single rule, "If you don't have anything to say, shut the fuck up." I think that's in the Bible or something.
Alpha Males may lead the armies of the world, but it's the Betas who actually get the shit blowed up.
Look, I've always had an empty place in my life that I've alternatively tried to fill with food and penises, but now I have something.
But she's a redhead, so she's probably evil, even at her tender age."
"I thought you liked redheads."
"I do. What's your point?
"I thought you liked redheads."
"I do. What's your point?
I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.
Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light.
You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems ...
You have to reward them when they do what you want. I tried punishing them when they misbehaved, but the hammer seemed to crush their spirit.
We'll help," said one boy, his finger far enough up his nose to tickle a memory nesting in his frontal lobe.
He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.
He was continually surprised at the speed and accuracy of her creepiness. She was like some creepiness child prodigy
Joseph had regained his composure by now. Evidently, once you accept that your wife slept with God, extraordinary events seem sort of commonplace.
He'd replace the window, but the kid was sleeping in his room from now until she was thirty and married to a huge guy with ninja skills.
Well, you know, she was winded for a few minutes from kicking your ass, but she is just a little girl." The
Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not the case. Life is messy
He had a plan - and a bus pass with four more days left on it - so this son of a bitch had picked the wrong guy to fuck with.
And he was like "The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk -" -Abby
You whoreson scalawag!" said I. "You flesh-turd dropped stinking from the poxy arsehole of a hare-lipped harlot!
I really don't think of my work in terms of a genre. I think of it in terms of what I want to say, what I think is cool, and what I'm good at.
You do not cause death, you do not prevent death, you are a servant of Destiny, not its agent. Get over yourself.
Where do you think this guy is leading us?' 'Probably somewhere to murder and kill us.' 'Yeah, at least one of those.
For it is written that if the wise man appears always stupid, his failures do not disappoint, and his success gives pleasant surprise.