Warren Ellis Quotes

People. You're not crazy if there really are robot insects listening to every word you say."

Someone said, "I fucking told you

And someone, somewhere, is saying What the fuck? Why not?

Straight people are so fucking weird.

Yeah, trust the fuckhead.

If contemporary literary fiction doesn't read a bit like science fiction then it's probably not all that contemporary, is it

I'm clearly insane. I'm threatening your life with a toothbrush,

What? I bring joy to the world. I am filled with mirth and sunlight. Also, I am Batman.

I think one of the bigger lessons the Internet has taught us is that 'niche' or 'subculture' are a lot bigger than anyone ever thought.

TRUTH comes easier when you're nine years old, too. Everything's a lot less complicated. This or that. Us or them. Truth or lie.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

The best gifts are never given, but claimed.

Ain't no Jesus in Snowtown, Detective.

Small things bring joy, somedays.

But I am not a monster because I kill. Killing is easy. I am a monster because I accept the hard choices. (Frank Moses)

I know nothing about you except that I want to move through the world with you for as long as you'll let me.

If it's accessible by hundreds of millions of people, then it's as mainstream as it gets.

Science fiction is always about the time it's written in. 1984 was always about 1948. Science fiction is social fiction. I

I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

In his other hand is a spear made from duct tape, a smashed Nokia phone from 1998 and a selfie stick. Welcome to the future.

He is defining the immediate future as follows: old people huddling in big cities, afraid of the sky.

Adam knew it was childish, but he rationalized it in this way: carelessly harming other people was a decent stand-in for baseline human interaction.

I live on my phone: I have a bunch of news and informational apps on there.

Fuck me", Bat gasped, "It's like an angel shat ice cream coffee rainbows in my mouth.

The lesson of 'CSI' is: No matter what horrible things happen, nice policemen will turn up and fix everything and return it to the status quo.

Magic is the cheat codes for the world.

Mister Sun wondered if he really believed it was true that the heart is just a pump.

When I got the tattoo, I knew I was drawing a crooked line between myself and society.

Don't live with writers. Writers are bastards.

Tradition:' one of those words conservative people use as a shortcut to thinking.

Being a nun wasn't all it was cracked up to be and the sex was shit.

I think blogging is a muscle that most people wear out.

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

Really?" Mister Sun said. "You killed a man with the same knife you use to make brunch, and you're suddenly squeamish about a hammer.

Ah, Hollywood. One day, you and I will play Operation. And I'll be the drunk, mad doctor with the hedge trimmer & you will wear the straps

There are no good futures. There's nothing to head towards but more garish, unsustainable carnival acts.

Here's the thing about Apple technology: once you own a piece, you want to use it.

Do you want to eat Peyotl and human flesh on the path to spiritual enlightenment? Or just for the hell of it? Join the ancient cult of Anasazi.

That means that the universe is two-dimensional. Matter, energy, time, you, me and the floor are holograms.

In general, I don't like L.A. all that much, but it has wonderful parts.

Time was this place didn't make sense and I could live with it. Either it's changed, or I have.

Predicting causes litter.

Detective John Tallow, 1st Precinct."
"You," said Scarly. "I hate you so much my dick is hard.

Los Angeles had no culture of its own, just a large collection of misreadings of the artistic histories of other, proper cities.

It would take a human nine years to walk from the Earth to the moon.

I am a messiah. Ask anyone on the Internet.

Okay," I said. "Let's do something really goddamn stupid.

I try to read a Kindle Single a week, but I'm getting bad at that. I usually have a few books on the go.

If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?

You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.

I've died before. It was boring, so I stood up.

Read comics. All comics. And then cut them open to steal their power.

How are we supposed to live in the future when the future just abandons us to the night?

Bloody Wolf Blitzer intoning that a weather bomb is going to detonate over America because the planet hates humans and time is a flat circle.

Fuck you . . . you fucking body-dysmorphia porn-addict trust-fund-baby compulsive-masturbation motherfucker.

Cheap! But not as cheap as your girlfriend.

I'm going to shit in your lungs for this.

Be exposed. Be open. Be who you want to be. It will never hurt as much as starving your own humanity of oxygen.

[ ... ] a super-rat. I nailed it across the eyes once with a lucky shot with the butt of my gun, but it got up again and shat in my telephone.

The future is a product, and you only get to vote with your money now,

ADDENDUM: SOMETIMES THE FUTURE IS BULLSHIT

Writing is basically a job for people who like punching themselves in the face, I'm pretty sure.

Ballardian banality comes from not getting the future that we were promised, or getting it too late to make the promised difference.

That was a stupid idea I made up while drunk. Why did someone build that?

In league with the fantastic. That's a thought to keep hold of.

What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?

You know what it's like, finding eight middle-aged guys having tantric sex with ostriches?

I can't solve any problems. All I can do is try to make sure people can't avoid noticing them.

A giant capable of circumcising redwoods with his teeth ...

Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.

I grew up in the 80s in England: we'd wake up each morning and look out the window to see if the government had finally put Daleks on the streets.

Listen to the Chair Leg of Truth! It does not lie!

You never get tired of looking at the stars

It's a strange world. Let's keep it that way.

I want vasopressin, washed caffeine, Jumpstart, ginkgo biloba, guarana, and any intelligence enhancer introduced in the last five years.

I wish I still had that photo.

I'd like to recover some of the strangeness and wonder of consideration of the future.

Adam's entire life felt like lead in his bones right now.

My neck and shoulders are killing me. Hard to focus on writing about murder, doom, shagging, our hopeless future & other comedy etc etc.

The two most dangerous things in the world are rich people and crazy people. The Roanokes are rich like pharoahs and crazier'n a snake-fucking baby.

I've always moved between media. Some ideas just work better in some media than others.

Comics is still my first love. But I always did other kinds of writing, too, so I think of myself as a writer first.

Look at a Segway and tell me it's not the world's shittiest witch's broomstick. We only wanted jetpacks because we couldn't make magic carpets work.

Adam sat back and scoured his recent memory.

- You know what this is?
- Nope
- It's a bowel disruptor. And you are just full of shit.

I was happiest when I was working for myself. Setting my own goals. Improving my own skills ... Take control of your world.

Here in Britain, of course, it's Thank Fuck We Got Those Weird Jesus Bastards On The Boat Day

Of course I don't care if you're bleeding! I'm fucking autistic!

That's what you should be worrying about. Idiots with all the money, plowing it into building a thing just because they can.

At the departure gate, a drunken airport security woman was handing out box cutters to the passengers.

There would be internet, and books, and music. He could think, and be, and hold the world at a distance in order to see it properly.

Cos a cop asking a guy for a discount on his crack, that's screwed up.
Sign of the goddamn apocalypse is what it is.

No more circuses.

By four o'clock, I've discounted suicide in favor of killing everyone else in the entire world instead.

She fixed him with a gaze that said that she had looked into the void and that she was really not impressed with it.

You know what they say; if you're tired of London, you're tired of life.

I admit that I have sometimes claimed to be Batman in the past. But only when really, really drunk.

I stood there alone in the eerily silent streets of Las Vegas and listened to my penis cry.

I try not to get involved in the business of prediction. It's a quick way to look like an idiot.

It was like washing down a bucket of peyote with a vatful of absinthe.

Good morning sinners. vampiric red bull intake in pub smoking compound commenced. day of heavy brain-fingering ahead.