Spike Milligan quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Spike Milligan

Spike Milligan Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Spike Milligan on Wise Famous Quotes.

Spike Milligan quotes: I told you I was sick.

I told you I was sick.

Spike Milligan quotes: A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Spike Milligan quotes: There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they're ever so small That's why rain is thin.

There are holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in,
But they're ever so small
That's why rain is thin.

Spike Milligan quotes: A sure cure for seasickness is to stand underneath a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to stand underneath a tree.

Spike Milligan quotes: They're all the rage, Cab Calloway wears one.

They're all the rage, Cab Calloway wears one.

Spike Milligan quotes: Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

Spike Milligan quotes: For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

Spike Milligan quotes: Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.

Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.

Spike Milligan quotes: Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

Spike Milligan quotes: (On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".

(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".

Spike Milligan quotes: I'm a hero wid coward's legs, I'm a hero from the waist up.

I'm a hero wid coward's legs, I'm a hero from the waist up.

Spike Milligan quotes: Author, author, did you write these legs?( The Milligan- Puckoon

Author, author, did you write these legs?( The Milligan- Puckoon

Spike Milligan quotes: The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.

The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.

Spike Milligan quotes: Pakistani Dalek: Put him in the cur-ry

Pakistani Dalek: Put him in the cur-ry

Spike Milligan quotes: Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Spike Milligan quotes: Aristocrats have heirs, the poor have children, and the rest keep dogs.

Aristocrats have heirs, the poor have children, and the rest keep dogs.

Spike Milligan quotes: I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Spike Milligan quotes: I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

Spike Milligan quotes: God made nightButMan made darkness.

God made nightButMan made darkness.

Spike Milligan quotes: The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at

The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all.

Spike Milligan quotes: How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Spike Milligan quotes: My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

Spike Milligan quotes: I told you I was ill. (On Millian's headstone)

I told you I was ill. (On Millian's headstone)

Spike Milligan quotes: I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

Spike Milligan quotes: A family man from SiberiaAs a father was very inferiorBut one operationRevised the situationAnd now he's Mother Superior

A family man from Siberia
As a father was very inferior
But one operation
Revised the situation
And now he's Mother Superior

Spike Milligan quotes: Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy.

Spike Milligan quotes: I have a body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I have a body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Spike Milligan quotes: If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive.

If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive.

Spike Milligan quotes: Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse

Spike Milligan quotes: I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Spike Milligan quotes: I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

Spike Milligan quotes: Professor Milligan will now play his tree! The composition is in A Minor, the tree is in A garden.

Professor Milligan will now play his tree! The composition is in A Minor, the tree is in A garden.

Spike Milligan quotes: Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Spike Milligan quotes: If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger; and if I die, I won't eat soon.

If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger; and if I die, I won't eat soon.

Spike Milligan quotes: All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Spike Milligan quotes: If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.

If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.

Spike Milligan quotes: It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Spike Milligan quotes: Everybody has to be somewhere!

Everybody has to be somewhere!

Spike Milligan quotes: There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.

There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.

Spike Milligan quotes: Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee.
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?

Spike Milligan quotes: Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A

Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A

Spike Milligan quotes: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

Spike Milligan quotes: A lot of learning canbe a little thing.

A lot of learning canbe a little thing.

Spike Milligan quotes: Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Spike Milligan quotes: I'm Irish. We think sideways

I'm Irish. We think sideways

Spike Milligan quotes: I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)

I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)

Spike Milligan quotes: Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light

Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light

Spike Milligan quotes: I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.

I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.

Spike Milligan quotes: General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.

General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.

Spike Milligan quotes: My sister Laura's bigger than meAnd lifts me up quite easily.I can't lift her, I've tried and tried;She must have something heavy inside.

My sister Laura's bigger than me
And lifts me up quite easily.
I can't lift her, I've tried and tried;
She must have something heavy inside.

Spike Milligan quotes: Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Spike Milligan quotes: We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Spike Milligan quotes: After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it

After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it

Spike Milligan quotes: If a robin redbreast in a cagePuts all heaven in a rage,How feels heaven whenDies the billionth battery hen?

If a robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage,
How feels heaven when
Dies the billionth battery hen?

Spike Milligan quotes: We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.

We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.

Spike Milligan quotes: It's all in the mind, you know.

It's all in the mind, you know.

Spike Milligan quotes: Therec all the rage, Cab Calaway wears one.

Therec all the rage, Cab Calaway wears one.

Spike Milligan quotes: With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate.

With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate.

Spike Milligan quotes: Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.

Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.

Spike Milligan quotes: One day the "Don't Knows" will get in and then where will we be?

One day the "Don't Knows" will get in and then where will we be?

Spike Milligan quotes: Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Spike Milligan quotes: Patience, thought Milligan, that word was invented by dull buggers who couldn't think quick enough.

Patience, thought Milligan, that word was invented by dull buggers who couldn't think quick enough.

Spike Milligan quotes: Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.

Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.

Spike Milligan quotes: To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don't want you singing at my funeral.

To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don't want you singing at my funeral.

Spike Milligan quotes: My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

Spike Milligan quotes: Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

Spike Milligan quotes: In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

Spike Milligan quotes: In the human race today, you came last.

In the human race today, you came last.

Spike Milligan quotes: A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush

A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush

Spike Milligan quotes: Education isn't everything, for a start it isn't an elephant

Education isn't everything, for a start it isn't an elephant

Spike Milligan quotes: We don't have anything planned, so nothing can go wrong.

We don't have anything planned, so nothing can go wrong.

Spike Milligan quotes: My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

Spike Milligan quotes: Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.

Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.

Spike Milligan quotes: R.I.P.Tom Conlon O'Rourke.Not Dead, just Sleeping.

R.I.P.
Tom Conlon O'Rourke.
Not Dead, just Sleeping.